Preschool Directors Balk at Toddler Résumés

In attempting to snag coveted slots at elite city preschools, some parents have gone so far as to submit DVDs featuring their children at play, and résumés for their 2-year-olds — and some preschool directors say they're fed up.

As admission season winds down for the year — scores of nursery schools yesterday sent out their much awaited acceptance and rejection letters — some school administrators say they don't like the over-the-top application process, and that spending thousands of dollars on preschool admissions advisers could backfire.

The admissions director of the Mandell School, Gabriella Rowe, told The New York Sun that the Upper West Side school received a couple of bespoke DVDs, and a handful of résumés, alongside preschool applications. "I won't watch the DVDs, and if I see a résumé, period, that's a huge black mark on a parent," she said. "I don't want to see a 14-month-old with a résumé of 30 activities, from language classes to cooking classes to science classes."

Ms. Rowe said she could tell when an admissions essay has been written by a preschool consultant. One telltale sign: "A disgustingly perfect entrance essay," written in a detached voice. "It's wonderful to hear, ‘It's really cute how my daughter pushes her little cart down the hall,'" she said. "I don't want to hear about their Da Vinci class."

The director of West Side Montessori on West 92nd Street, Marlene Barron, said a lengthy résumé or a too slick application — she once received a media kit describing a prospective family — is distasteful. "A child should be able to live the life of a child," Ms. Barron said. "When we see this over-scheduling, we think, ‘Is this the type of parent we want in our school?' We have choices."

When the director of the Church of the Epiphany Day School, Whendy Carter, receives the occasional toddler résumé, she doesn't necessarily rule out the applicant. "I almost think, ‘They're probably not for us' — we're very low-key — but then I'll give them the benefit of he doubt. We have this simple, straightforward application. What is a résumé going to say? These are 2- and 3-year-olds."

There's a sense among preschool directors that children are being over-scheduled, and parents are being over-advised "on how to dress, what kinds of recommendation letters they'll need, and even what kind of stationery they should be writing their thank you notes," the head of school advisory services for the Parents League of New York, Cynthia Bing, said. The Parents League is a membership organization composed of more than 250 independent schools.

"Savvy, knowledgeable nursery school directors do have a sense that what they're seeing stiff and programmed," Ms. Bing said. "Their noses can be fairly good."

The author of "The Ivy Chronicles" (Viking, 2005), Karen Quinn, whose novel is based on her experience as a private school admissions counselor, said most consultants would discourage DVDs, resumes, or "any other kind of dog-and-pony show that's not likely to sit well with admissions directors."

Ms. Quinn, whose second novel hits bookstores next week, said she doubts that school officials could really tell which parents hired someone to guide them through the admissions process. "It's possible that if someone writes a really wonderful essay that they did get help with it, but this is New York — and there are a lot of great writers in New York," she said.

The mother of a 2-year-old named Tyler, Adelina Wong Ettelson, sought out the guidance of other parents, but not an admissions consultant. Ms. Wong Ettelson is waiting to hear from five Upper East Side preschools, including All Souls School and Park Avenue Christian Church Day School. "I've definitely reached out to a network of people who have been through this before," Ms. Wong Ettleson said. "I think that's better than hiring someone, but we'll see where he gets in. I also think it's good to know parents at the school who can lobby the admissions director on your behalf, who can tell them what a great family you are."

Then there are some parents, decrying the cutthroat competition for nursery school seats, who are opting out of traditional preschool altogether — enrolling their children in group classes until they turn 4 and can apply to a pre-kindergarten program at an ongoing school.
One father of a 2-year-old said his son would be taking courses at Citibabes, a private club in SoHo, until the youngster is ready for pre-kindergarten. "There's such a supply-and-demand imbalance," the Greenwich Village resident, who asked not to be identified, said. "It seems like the chances of getting into an Ivy League school or graduate program are better. You can't imagine the stress it creates for parents."