How To Get Some Exercise at the Airport

by Peter Shankman
Fri, 21 Dec 2007 at 3:35 PM

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Starting tomorrow, millions of New Yorkers will take part in that wonderful NYC holiday ritual: getting the hell out of town for the holidays.

I personally am going down to Florida for a few days of falling from an airplane, because, well, because I'm weird.

But … whether you're going to London or Lima, Prague or P-Town, there are a few simple ways to get some exercise while you're dealing with endless delays, lost luggage, and clueless TSA officials who demand that you walk through the metal detector barefoot while singing "I Love Rock and Roll."

With that, the top eight ways to get some exercise while traveling:

8.) The suitcase lift. Even if you just pack carry-on, you're carrying on a heavy bag, no question. While waiting to check your bag, or waiting to get your boarding pass, put your suitcase down in front of you. Bending from the knees, pick it up, with your arms extended in front of you. Stand straight up. Put it down the same way. Repeat 10 times.

7.) The "waiting in line at security because the TSA has to give Grandma a pat-down" squats: While waiting for the TSA to finish their silliness, do a squat for every time you hear the following words: "MALE ASSIST," "FEMALE ASSIST," "SPECIAL SELECTEE," or "TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF AND LAPTOPS OUT OF YOUR BAG." I guarantee your legs will give out before you get to the magnetometer.

6.) The "race the people on the cart" jog. Wearing sneakers and got someone else to watch your luggage? Wait at one end of the terminal, until you see the ultimate in laziness, the people riding that little cart. I'm not talking about people who are disabled — I'm talking about the perfectly fit, yet lazy-as-hell and 30-pounds-overweight woman who decides, "Oh, there's a cart, no need to actually walk my fat butt over to the gate." Wait until she sits down, then simply start jogging next to the cart. The goal is to keep up with it for the entire length of the ride. If you can walk, you'll be able to — fact is, those carts always have to stop for people who are in the way. Bonus: Make sure you catch the lazy woman's eye and say something like, "Yeah, this is quite a workout… Oh, well, at least for me."

5.) Walking down the jetway lunges. Just what they sound like. After you give your ticket, you've got a long walk down an incline-in-your-favor ramp. Lunge down them.

4.) The "Drop and give me 20" every hour of flight rule. This is actually a good rule not only because it's a good way to stay in shape, but also because it'll help prevent deep-vein thrombosis on long-haul flights — you know, those unsightly blood clots that can cause frustrating things like death. Just drop, once an hour, in the aisle or near the galley, and do 20 push-ups (or as many as you can.) At the very least, stand up once an hour and stretch.

3.) The "I'll stop your kid from crying" workout. Kid two rows behind you won't shut up? Ask the parents if you can hold him. Then walk him up and down the aisle a few times, holding him in front of you, swinging him around, lifting him up, putting him down… Anything to get an upper body-shoulder workout in.

2.) The "HOLY CRAP THAT'S SOME SCARY TURBULENCE" butt-clench. (Works the glutes.) Every time you hit a bump, squeeze your butt muscles; hold for 10 seconds.

1.) Finally, the best exercise in the world: The side-to-side neck-twist-while-looking-at-the-confidential-information-the-idiot-next-to-you-is-typing. Twist hard, don't get caught. Repeat 10 times.

Happy holidays from NYC Outdoors! A few more races to round out the year coming up, and don't forget the NYRR Midnight Run, Central Park, midnight, December 31, and of course, the Coney Island Polar Bear Swim, 2 p.m., January 1, Coney Island, Brooklyn.

Happy and healthy holidays!

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