When Money Woes Hit Close to Home

No matter how many different articles I read about the collapse of Bear Stearns, I still find it hard to believe that poof — it's gone.

Part of my bewilderment stems from the fact that I am part of a generation that has barely lived through even the mildest recession. Regardless of whether our country enters into a technical recession or not, our city feels different these days. It's no longer workers in some other part of the country who are losing their jobs: We're losing our jobs.

"I was walking out of my son's school the other day and another parent told me he wasn't working," a lawyer and mother of two said. "In fact, he told me that he was looking for a job. And then we saw friends over the weekend where the husband was a managing director of Bear Stearns. Needless to say, he doesn't know what he'll be doing next week or exactly how much money he's lost."

"I'm used to everyone chatting about the economy," she added, "but when the major breadwinners in my circle are in trouble, it really hits home."

With analysts predicting that Wall Street layoffs could be as high as 15% or even 20%, the reality of unemployed breadwinners is going to feel very real for a whole lot of New York families. "My husband is holding his breath," one woman, whose husband works at a large investment firm, said. "The word on the street is that 5% or 10% of the employees at his firm are going to get laid off, which wouldn't be so bad if there was any chance that those people could go and get other jobs. But it seems pretty unlikely that firms will be hiring these days."

It isn't just folks on Wall Street who expect to feel the pain. One father of three, a physician, said that while he isn't worried about his job, he knows he'll feel a trickle-down effect. "I'm a dermatologist and so much of what I do is elective," he said. "You certainly aren't going to fork over $500 for Botox or the latest peel if all of a sudden you're out of a job, or the rainy days that you've been proverbially saving for seem like they're in the near future."

A private school psychologist said that it's important to protect children from feeling the insecurity that sudden financial stress can create. "Children need to be shielded from certain parts of adult life," she said. "Yes, children need to know the truth, and if mommy or daddy doesn't have a job anymore, well, of course you're not going to hide that."

But even if the change in finances is sudden, children need to be gradually introduced to the new reality. And too many details can really make things more stressful than a child can handle," she said.

Behind closed doors, schools are beginning to get nervous about what Wall Street's shakedown might mean for upcoming renovations, additions, and annual giving campaigns.

"We were planning on beginning a campaign to renovate parts of our facilities," a board member of a private school on the Upper East Side said, "but now we're not so sure that it's the right time. We expected to raise a certain amount of money this year that now seems totally unrealistic. And who knows if this environment is going to change anytime soon? The last thing we want to do is start a project that we can't finish."

Other school administrators are concerned that Wall Street's woes will result in an increase in families who need partial scholarships.

"When we accept children in a kindergarten class, we can shoot for a certain percentage of children who need some sort of assistance," one administrator said. "But that's a very different situation from one in which a family with two or three children already in the school can no longer afford to pay the full tuition. You have to find a way to accommodate financial hardship."

One father whose job may be on the line told his friends that he's trying to remain optimistic. "Look, I'm in my early 40s and have many big years ahead of me," he said. "We're not moving or canceling our summer vacation. At least not yet."

sarasberman@aol.com