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Reader comment on:
Loners Vs. Loneliness
in response to reader comment: Curious Minds Want to Know

Submitted by Diner, Apr 25, 2007 19:25

I spent many years in the field of family violence (investigation, advocacy, prosecution, research, and prevention). Most cases of workplace violence are in some way linked to family violence.

Experience taught me to draw my own conclusions about the causes and commonalities of violence directed at others, and not to base research on inflammatory, baseless headlines.

To do so would allow one to draw the following conclusions:

  1. Many serial killers mowed their neighbor's lawns.
  2. Over-production of hormones on Superbowl Sunday leads to an increase in family violence.
  3. Neighbors of axe-wielding murderers, international terrorists and organized crime bosses are highly reliable witnesses.
If you are serious about such statistics, you might want to investigate the FBI website, which lists statistics for most violent crimes occurring in the United States.

A critical read on violence prevention: "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker.

To all others who have an opinion, I challenge you to make a difference. American mental health centers and hospitals are woefully underfunded and understaffed. Consider making a contribution whether as a volunteer, a champion, or donor.

I wish to recognize the incredible bravery shown by our police officers, on March 24, 1998 in Jonesboro, Arkansas; April 20, 1999 in Littleton, Colorado; on July 18, 1984 in San Ysidro, California; August 1, 1966 in Austin, TX; and of course during the most recent killings at Virginia Tech.

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Other reader comments on this article

Comment By Date

I've been living in The Netherlands for nine years. It's been a very lonely road, and I have suffered from... [MORE]

lila 

Sep 25, 2007 05:07

Having been "one of those kids" who was constantly rejected throughout life I have been both a loner and lonely.... [MORE]

Steve M 

May 21, 2007 17:13

Thank you so much for writing this article. I am a loner myself, and cringe everytime a violent offender is... [MORE]

Jamie 

Apr 24, 2007 14:29

Being lonely or a loner is simply insufficient to explain this. If either in itself was the reason there would... [MORE]

Steve 

Apr 24, 2007 09:23

Thanks for a great article. Household census data shouldn't indicate a "person of interest". I hope we learn to reach... [MORE]

Ron 

Apr 24, 2007 06:51

All this debate about semantics is cruel. I too am a loner feeling that I am labelled dangerous when I... [MORE]

Clare 

Apr 24, 2007 05:30

As a professional that deal with workplace violence as a living I thought your article was interesting and provided a... [MORE]

Barry Nixon 

Apr 23, 2007 22:37

I spent many years in the field of family violence (investigation, advocacy, prosecution, research, and prevention). Most cases of workplace...

Diner 

Apr 25, 2007 19:25

Barry, are you trying to say there is no truth unless you say so? [MORE]

Gordon Crump 

Apr 26, 2007 09:43

Research is not only skewed by the creators, there is no such thing as conclusive research. Every case is individual... [MORE]

Jerry Hewes 

Apr 27, 2007 22:23

I'd suggest the key is the difference between "solitude" (Yea!) and "isolation" (Nay!). SJS [MORE]

SJS 

Apr 23, 2007 13:54

The ironic thing about all this discussion about Loners vs Loneliness, Sounds like Cho really was a loner, more than... [MORE]

Josh 

Apr 22, 2007 09:32

Now I wonder why in our religion it is strongly discouraged to live or stay alone even for a single... [MORE]

Mohammad 

Apr 22, 2007 04:23

Why should anyone be left alone in the way we say our lives are in now a days. If you... [MORE]

James Ted Bradley 

Apr 22, 2007 23:09

Excellent column! I'm a bit on the loner side myself. Thanks for explaining the vital distinction between the 2. [MORE]

Lisa 

Apr 21, 2007 16:04

Excellent sometimes witty column making an important distinction between loners and the "lonely" who want to join clubs. This loner... [MORE]

mary 

Apr 20, 2007 20:52

This is a good distinction if you want to really try and understand the underlying problem that leads somebody towards... [MORE]

Gary Meisner 

Apr 20, 2007 19:11

What gives with the Travis Bickle comparisons everywhere I turn? Have any of these people even SEEN the movie? This... [MORE]

Audentes 

Apr 20, 2007 16:52

Yes I too fit that profile, remarkably so. I have read the previous missives and one by one they said... [MORE]

Bill Campbell 

Apr 20, 2007 10:22

Wonderful article. While I enjoy gadgets, more for the information they provide rather than the connection to other folks, I... [MORE]

Rich from RI 

Apr 20, 2007 05:35

When are Americans going to realise that with those crazy gun laws this sort of thing is inevitable.*Sigh. [MORE]

Jon 

Apr 20, 2007 18:55

You've got to be kidding me! To try to reduce this grave matter to a discussion of the semantics used... [MORE]

Tinashe Rondozai 

Apr 20, 2007 03:01

I enjoy solitude. I am also the least likely person I can think of to do the nutty things that... [MORE]

Rich 

Apr 19, 2007 21:32

Dear Lenore (I'll try not to quoth Poe- nevermore!) Anyhoo. Thank you-nice article. Harlan Ellison ran this number about thirty some... [MORE]

Patrick Northway 

Apr 19, 2007 17:35

Yeah, he was lonely alright, because I think he was just pure evil and nasty! ugh! how about telling that... [MORE]

Linda 

Apr 22, 2007 20:19

While I have no social problems or hangups whatsoever and I can be charming and enjoy a party or a... [MORE]

Daniel Brennan 

Apr 19, 2007 14:31

loners are perfectly content to be alone, says the married woman? pardon me for stating the simplistically obvious, but honestly..... [MORE]

Vzur 

Apr 19, 2007 08:38

My husband and I were loners. We spent most of our time at home, he painting in the basement, me... [MORE]

denise banker 

Apr 18, 2007 14:12

I have been a loner all my life.I had friends while i was growing up but they never seem to... [MORE]

Cheryl 

Jul 5, 2007 01:28

See, this is why Lenore Skenazy is my favorite columnist, and why I have followed her writing here to The... [MORE]

Melanie Scarpati 

Apr 18, 2007 13:06

My first Leonore Skenazy column I've read and I must say I'm very favorably impressed! Well done, nicely done, great... [MORE]

A.M. Mora y Leon 

Apr 19, 2007 01:28

Come on. Is it so hard to fathom that it is people who don't need people who kill 32 people... [MORE]

Chasli 

Apr 18, 2007 10:53

Was the Lone Ranger lonely or a loner? He was definitely a loner because he had Tonto, his trusty sidekick,... [MORE]

Bob Mack 

Apr 18, 2007 10:38

The real issue here is not semantics - it's a combination of mental illness, multiple warning signs that were ignored,... [MORE]

Diner 

Apr 18, 2007 21:18

This issue is not being reduced to meaningless bantor. Once our media and society at large starts blathering on and... [MORE]

Jill Watson 

Apr 21, 2007 08:05

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