Submitted by Don Robertson, Dec 2, 2006 14:08

I'm not a New Yorker. And while I hold my own against all challengers, or they're not worth their challenge, I must say, this guy Spitzer is well worth a challenge. Spitzer is a guy who has risen to national prominence in a very short period of time, and he's done it in spectacular fashion. Now he's Governor-Elect of New York. But, one has to question, does this man have one ounce of honesty or integrety? Or is he just another David Lettermen joke about the hookers in NYC?

First let me point out, Spitzer is a lawyer. Cheap shot? I don't think so. While I'm sure there are some ethical lawyers somewhere on the planet, and, though I'm in my sixth decade now, I've yet to meet one, and I've known a myriad of the other kind. So I place Spitzer among that class of human beings too kindly known as lawyers, but far more parochially known as vermin, right along with all the rest of the rats that end up politicans all dressed to the nines, smiling, winking, and nodding, and generally spreading disease and spoiling the esthetics of what humanity is all about for the rest of us. While New York has no monopoly in propogating rats who end up in government, I smell a really big rat in Spitzer.

Let me say, if you haven't already gathered, I'm not one who buys into the argument against anarchy that states, Without government humans would run wild in the streets wreaking mayhem upon one another. My reason is not that I don't believe humans would run wild in the streets, and a little mayhem would get wreaked upon those who most deserve it, but rather my objection to this argument against anarchy is, If human beings are so inclined, which they surely are, then, who among us thinks it is a good idea to trust the enhanced powers of the state to any human, especially a rat-human lawyer?

Now, Elliot is getting ready to appoint a few judges, no harm in that, right? Wait a seond, not so fast!

Everyone who can read newspapers, and, I think it's a fair assumption, most, if not all of those whose eyes are gathering this page in through their eye-holes, and into their noggin cavities where it is made over into their own wholly biased universe of more than bizarre thoughts, all of us then, have read about crooked judges in New York, right? It is after all part of New York's esteemed heritage is it not? And, it does go right along with the territory like swamp, mosquitos and gators in the Forida Keys, doesn't it? Well, rest assured, Mr. Spitzer, Esquire, and now Honorable-Elect Mr. Elliot Spitzer, he's no doubt going to be appointing vermin to sit on those empty judicial benches as judges who are going warlord over the rest of us, isn't he? (That's clearly a rhetorical question.)

That's my point. If I ever end up in court, for some reason similar to my instinct about the argument against anarchy, I don't want the judge to be a lawyer, do you? Really! Think about it... Do you want some belly scraping lawyer to have anything to do with you when you're most vulnerable, even entirely vulnerable to an obscene system of law that gets it wrong nine times out of ten? That's what I thought.

This guy Spitzer, the political myth, has made himself out to be something of an avenger of the poor, and has gotten himself into the Governorship of New York through a political campaign too. You know what political campaigns are all about, don't you. Hold your nose! Cover the eyes of the kids! Better yet, take them into the other room and shut the door, there's a campaigning politician at the door! That's the initiation this belly scraped lawyer just went through to ascend to his lofty position-elect.

I'd say, like a heroin addict isn't qualified to be in charge of a hospital's pharmaceutical supply of Perdue Pharma's synthetic heroin, Oxycontin, Mr. Spitzer is no more qualified to be Governor of New York than Saddam Hussein was qualified to be the President of Iraq. Come to think of it, I think they each won their last election by similar majorities too, didn't they?

So, while some in New York are resting on their laurels, there are others, even others outside of New York who are keeping a good eye on Mr. Spitzer, and hoping soon enough the New York people will rise up and overthrow the despot Spitzer has already become. As a Mainer, I can't get out of New England without going through New York, so it is a civic duty of sorts. No, I'm not driving through Canada, they've gone and elected a conservative, Stephen Harper, who's got a reputation all his own that I don't need to get any more familiar with to know Canada is on the brink of becoming like Argentinian dictatorship.

I feel a need to point out, Governor Elect Elliot Spitzer is trouble brewing and already ready to be served for my fellow New York co-Empirees. There is absolutely nothing new under the sun, and an honest or ethical politician would be a severe violation to that rule, so don't be fooled by Eliot, like every poltician, he's a crook, a thief, a liar, and probably should be locked up in an insane asylum, or hung from the nearest tree.

It tis the season for hanging things up in trees isn't it? And then it's on to a Happy-Happy 2007.

What? I'm not for that either! Whoever made up the calendar did no one in this world a favor.

Don Robertson, The American Philosopher
Limestone, Maine

An Illustrated Philosophy Primer for Young Readers
http://www.geocities.com/donaldwrobertson/index.html

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