Copyright 2008 The New York Sun Wed, 01 Oct 2008 13:44:13 -0400 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Lenore Skenazy :: Stories from The New York Sun http://www.nysun.com/authors/Lenore+Skenazy istoll@nysun.com (Ira Stoll) webmaster@nysun.com en-us LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/putting-the-great-in-recession/86831/ Tue, 30 Sep 2008 00:00:00 EST Not that I want this to be a Great Depression. I hope it's not. But if it is, there just might be one group of Americans that really benefits from Wall Street's recent slide. Kids. I can see kids emerging from their dens when they get sick of their X-Box games and their parents can't afford any new ones. I can see kids dropping out of pricey travel soccer leagues and playing a game of pickup instead. I can see kids figuring out how to retool their bikes and skates and maybe even their mp3... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/four-debates-and-a-seal-ork-ork/86381/ Tue, 23 Sep 2008 00:00:00 EST After a week of negotiations so intense sometimes the sandwich platter arrived and no one even noticed that they'd better grab the roast beef because the rest were vegetable hoagies, John McCain and Barack Obama and their running mates have agreed on the format of the four debates to come: Three for the presidential contenders and one between the Republican's Sarah Palin and the Democratic vice presidential nominee, Whatshisname. Since the elephants won the coin toss — which raised some... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/investing-in-vodka-and-beards/85931/ Tue, 16 Sep 2008 00:00:00 EST Investors, perhaps you are worried. Perhaps you are ready to yank all your money out of the market and stuff it in your mattress — except that you were thinking of selling your mattress on eBay. Don't. I just checked. There are 5,796 there already, and you're going to want that mattress when you're curled up in a ball, moaning something about Jim Cramer. Anyway, the good news is that even if the entire financial world seems to be falling apart like your Ikea bookshelf — don't ask, I just know... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/power-of-the-pta/85267/ Fri, 5 Sep 2008 00:00:00 EST Men prepare for the world of politics on the ball field, in the boardroom, or on a bloodstained battleground far from home, bombarded by horrors seared on hearts, souls, and sometimes, skin. Women prepare someplace far tougher. The PTA. Sarah Palin, Senator McCain's pick for vice president, is hardly the first mother to join the Parent Teacher Association and suddenly discover the politics in her blood. And sometimes the blood in her politics. "I was just your average hockey mom, and signed up... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/that-panic-last-night/84994/ Tue, 2 Sep 2008 00:00:00 EST If your family is anything like ours — and most other happy-enough humans — you spent the last two months in a joyous haze of sun, fun, splashing, and laughing. And you spent last night tearing your hair out in Post It-size chunks while your children threw themselves on the floor, bawling and breaking their brand new pencils in half. Summer homework is due. Today. Today is Day One for 1.1 million New York City public school children. The rest of New York's school children are matriculating... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/our-baby-bump-obsession/84623/ Tue, 26 Aug 2008 00:00:00 EST "Hollywood's Pregnant," screamed the headline of the supermarket tabloid. "Who's expecting, who's not, who's desperately trying." To which at least some of us must add: "Who cares?" The answer seems to be, "Anyone with $3.99 to their name." How else to explain this summer's Brangelina baby photos fetching a reported $14 million from People magazine? In 2006, People supposedly paid $4.1 million for the first pix of Brad and Angelina's other biological baby, Shiloh. Sure, this time People got a... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/wanted-ugly-women/84173/ Tue, 19 Aug 2008 00:00:00 EST Well now I know who to vote for when Mayor Bloomberg's term is up. Someone just as willing to stand up for what his city needs: John Molony, mayor of Mount Isa, a mining town in Australia. Of course, what his city needs is a little different from ours. We need 2007 back (minus the rats in KFC). His city, meanwhile, needs more of the, uh, "beauty challenged." Yes, that's his term, and yes, he was only referring to women, and yes, a goodly portion of Australia is now (forgive me) hopping mad. But... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/a-mistress-a-baby-a-mens-room/83674/ Tue, 12 Aug 2008 00:00:00 EST Maybe a year ago we all would have been shocked by the John Edwards affair. A mistress! A baby! A strange, sexually-charged incident in the men's room! Now it just feels like one of those chapters they add to a textbook so college students can't buy the used edition at half price. Doesn't it seem like we've already learned everything possible about politicians' peccadilloes (emphasis on their peccas) for more than a year? Thanks to Eliot Spitzer, Governor Paterson, Vito Fossella, Governor... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/real-world-olympic-sports/83211/ Tue, 5 Aug 2008 00:00:00 EST How come they always have the same old sports at the Olympics? Run, jump, play with a ball — you've got to wonder if the Olympic Committee isn't really a front for some very powerful dogs. Just because they call it "discus" doesn't mean it's not Frisbee. So where does that leave the rest of us? Those of us who have been working for years on skills the committee has yet to recognize? With corporate sponsors fearing viewer flight and China aching to make a splash, maybe it's time for: New Olympic... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/mad-for-mad-men/82782/ Tue, 29 Jul 2008 00:00:00 EST 'Mad Men." I want everything on that show, from the ashtrays to the wall hangings to the lead actor. And I don't smoke. And I'm married. I guess I could use a wall hanging. Something about the show inspires lust, and it's not just the fact everyone's sleeping with everyone else — they always do on cable. It's not even the fact that they're all working at an ad agency, busy igniting desire for cigarettes and laxatives. No, what's drawing raves and viewers and 16 Emmy nominations so far — season... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/send-me-a-postcard-not-an-e-mail/82343/ Tue, 22 Jul 2008 00:00:00 EST It's Christmas in July. The bad part of Christmas, that is. The part where you get those Christmas letters from C-list friends all about their fantastic jobs, Broadway-bound kids, stunning new homes, and mind-blowing sex (if you read between the lines). Except now, those letters are e-mails. And they're not about Christmas. They are all about your friends' vacations — e-mail blasts so chock-full of photos, fun, exclamation points, and detailed meal descriptions they make you want to scream: All... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/63-signs-of-recession/81852/ Tue, 15 Jul 2008 00:00:00 EST For the average American man and woman — let's call them Freddie and Fannie — times are feeling a bit dicey. The housing market is in a swoon. The stock market is swooning right along. Consumer confidence? Lying there like a wet towel on the bathroom floor that nobody's picking up. As troubling as things are, however, are we really in bad shape? Here's a handy-dandy way to find out. YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN A RECESSION WHEN ... 1. You put your family on eBay. 2. You have your gold fillings removed... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/like-a-prayer-a-rod/81417/ Tue, 8 Jul 2008 00:00:00 EST It happened to Madonna, it's happening to A-Rod, and for a while it even happened to Britney. One reaches the pinnacle of fame, fortune, and truly fabulous muscle tone, and what's left? Judaism. Okay, so it happens to be the most esoteric expression of Judaism since the goose-shaped chopped liver: Kabbalah, a practice many American Jews will never even encounter. What does Kabbalah have to offer our superstars, and why should we care? What do those superstars have to offer each other, and why... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/kids-in-bunks-parents-in-funks/81032/ Tue, 1 Jul 2008 00:00:00 EST The mom and dad were staggering up the street holding their daughter's camp gear between them — a duffel bag seemingly stuffed with Pavarotti. "This is the small bag," the mom said through a gritted smile. They made their way through a throng of parents on upper Broadway, all bidding goodbye to children off to Camp Ramah, a sleepaway camp. Some of them were homesick already. The parents, I mean. The new term for this is "childsickness." It's not that parents never moped for their mosquito-bound... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/running-from-dunkin/80540/ Tue, 24 Jun 2008 00:00:00 EST 'Aghhhhhhh!" That is the sound (pretty much) of millions of hitherto happy-go-lucky New Yorkers fleeing Starbucks, Dunkin' Donuts, and all the other chain restaurants they used to love. They were just about to order a muffin, maybe, or were pointing to a scrumptious scone when, suddenly, a number loomed up, big and blazing as a barbecued boar: The calorie posting, required by local law as of May 5. Corn muffin: 510. Sticky pecan roll: 780. Little ol' Munchkin: 80. Eighty calories for a mere... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/guys-and-a-doll-at-otb/80128/ Tue, 17 Jun 2008 00:00:00 EST If they'd closed the OTB parlors yesterday — as threatened — where would the regulars have gone? Maybe out to lunch. Maybe to the track. Or maybe they'd have stayed at home, on the computer, punching in their credit cards and losing their bets alone, without the comfort of the off track betting parlor. Well, perhaps comfort is not quite the right word. But there is something not totally off-putting about the place. I mean, it's not where you'd want to hold a party. It's not even where you'd... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/from-prim-to-promzillas/79664/ Tue, 10 Jun 2008 00:00:00 EST Dear High School Girl, Congratulations. It is prom season and you are going to one. Have fun, don't drink, and please don't do the one, other prom-night thing that can lead to a lifetime of misery: don't try to be a movie star. Oh I know you're going to anyway. You're going to devote yourself (and your mother) to finding the perfect dress, shoes, bag, and bling, no matter the cost. Then you are going to get plucked and powdered and primped and possibly even waxed by professional hairdressers... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/slacking-hillary/79173/ Tue, 3 Jun 2008 00:00:00 EST Legs. A campaign needs them. A pantsuit hides them. Might Hillary Clinton be sashaying through a swath of cheering delegates, a hangdog Barack Obama tagging behind, if only she never packed that first, fatal slacks-and-jacket ensemble? In other words, if only Yves Saint Laurent hadn't come along and changed the way powerful women dress? After all, it was Saint Laurent, who died on Sunday, who first poured females into pants. Until he sprang onto the fashion scene in the late 1950s, the only... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/as-salamanders-waddle/78628/ Tue, 27 May 2008 00:00:00 EST Unofficially, it is now officially summer — that post-Memorial Day stretch of sunshine, sweat, and sweetness so different from the rest of the year, and so much more memorable. From that first Popsicle that melts off its stick to that first crush who teaches you to dance, the lessons are wide-ranging, and seared in the heart. Everything I needed to know I learned during the summer. As did everyone else below: WHAT A REAL CARE PACKAGE IS: "I went to a camp where most kids' parents were... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/yankee-panky/76714/ Tue, 20 May 2008 00:00:00 EST It is powerful. It is secret. It is unreturnable, even with a receipt, at most department stores. The thong. It had seemed, until this past weekend, that the thong achieved its pop culture pinnacle a long decade ago. That's when a certain intern flashed hers at a certain president who, to the disbelief of everyone except perhaps that president's wife, reacted almost exactly like a dog stumbling upon a stockpile of Slim Jims. Unwrapped Slim Jims. Naturally, that president denied this behavior... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/elect-me-elmo-and-other-veeps/76350/ Tue, 13 May 2008 00:00:00 EST Our presidential candidates have been through a lot. At least, mine sure has. So here is the ultimate gift: Vice presidential short lists for each of them. No need to thank me, friends. (Unless you win.) For McCAIN Elmo: As red-state as McCain — or red, anyway — but younger, cuddlier. Lowers the ticket age by about 173%. Genial nature could well recapture fawning press Senator McCain got the first time around. Moreover, ready on day one to do the vice president's job, i.e., listen to his... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/stop-telling-moms-what-to-do/75926/ Tue, 6 May 2008 00:00:00 EST Mother's Day will be here this weekend, but if you ask me, every day is Mother's Day. Just not in the nice, dandelion bouquet sense. No, in the sense that every day, someone somewhere — and usually everyone everywhere — has some great advice that they just have to give to the next mother they see. This advice comes from other moms, it comes from books, it comes from warning labels on products: "NEVER leave your child unattended." (Never? Not even when the kid is sleeping, the stove is off, and... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/semi-nude-15-year-olds/75506/ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 00:00:00 EST Hey, maybe I can become a world famous photographer, too. All I need is some jailbait and a sheet. I'll have the girl take off her clothes, mess up her hair like she just had a wild night of ... whatever. Then I'll have her smile over her shoulder and start snapping away and -- Wait! Officer! This isn't kiddie porn — it's totally legit! It's Hannah Montana! It's Vanity Fair! That's why it's so great to be Annie "Here's A Schmatte — Say Cheese" Leibovitz. The pictures you take, even of a... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/my-dog-is-skinnier-than-yours/75114/ Tue, 22 Apr 2008 00:00:00 EST As blimps the country, so blimp its dogs — about 30% are now considered overweight. But the dogs have something we don't have: A magic bullet. Pfizer may not have cured cancer yet, or that little problem called AIDS, but it has come up with Slentrol, the first FDA-approved diet drug for dogs. The company just began advertising it this past week, according to the magazine Advertising Age, thus begging (if you will) the question: Woof? Translation: Dogs need diet pills? Why? Are they sitting... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/curse-control/74697/ Tue, 15 Apr 2008 00:00:00 EST Honestly, Yankee Brass: You really think you had to dig up that jersey? Maybe you want to start sticking pins in a Manny Ramirez doll while you're at it. Sure, a Red Sox shirt has been extricated from near the foundation of what is slated to become the new Yankee Stadium's behind-home-plate restaurant (and if that's not sacred ground, what is?). But it is quite possible that removing the shirt was precisely the wrong thing to do, curse-wise. Not to mention symbol-wise. And psychology-wise. As a... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/americas-worst-mom/74347/ Tue, 8 Apr 2008 00:00:00 EST When I wrote a column in this paper last week, "Why I Let My 9-Year-Old Take The Subway Alone," I figured I'd get some emails — pro and con. Two days later I was on the "Today Show," MSNBC, Fox News, and all manner of talk radio with a new title under my smiling face: "America's Worst Mom?" Yes, that's all it took for me to learn just what a hot-button issue this is — whether good parents ever let their kids out of their sight. But even as the stations (and Web sites and Web logs) were having a... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/why-i-let-my-9-year-old-ride-subway-alone/73976/ Tue, 1 Apr 2008 00:00:00 EST I left my 9-year-old at Bloomingdale's (the original one) a couple weeks ago. Last seen, he was in first floor handbags as I sashayed out the door. Bye-bye! Have fun! And he did. He came home on the subway and bus by himself. Was I worried? Yes, a tinge. But it didn't strike me as that daring, either. Isn't New York as safe now as it was in 1963? It's not like we're living in downtown Baghdad. Anyway, for weeks my boy had been begging for me to please leave him somewhere, anywhere, and let him... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/are-you-the-one-we-want/73759/ Thu, 27 Mar 2008 00:00:00 EST Thinking of running for public office — or about to be promoted to one, due to an unprecedented wave of resignations above you? Wait! In order to save the time and embarrassment it will take to remove you, too, kindly take this: NEW YORK AND NEW JERSEY CANDIDATE PRE-CULPABILITY QUESTIONNAIRE: When you use the word "never," you mean: A) No comment. B) Ask my lawyer. C) Okay, once. When you use the word "once," you mean: A) More than a year, but less than a decade. B) More than a decade, but less... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/new-york/why-patersons-scandal-doesnt-measure-up/73228/ Wed, 19 Mar 2008 00:00:00 EST Wake us if he did it with Hillary while Bill watched after they all had the early-bird special at T.G.I. Friday's — and Obama's got the tapes. Not that Governor Paterson's actual affairs don't sound titillating enough. But … they don't. They're the sex equivalent of Ny-Quil — something kind of icky that just makes you yawn. A friend of mine saw the headlines about this latest "bombshell" yesterday, and her first thought was: "God, it must be a slow news day." It was. No hookers. No threesomes... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/new-york/battle-of-the-sexes-over-sex/72746/ Wed, 12 Mar 2008 00:00:00 EST "This is why we need more women in politics," my friend Virginia Randall was saying yesterday. "Did Ella Grasso ever have to stand up on the podium and admit she paid for a rent boy? Or Bella Abzug?" Uh, no. Kind of disturbing just to think about. But as women and men discussed L'Affair Spitzer yesterday — every waking moment — the differences between men and women kept getting more pronounced. It's not just that female politicians have so few sex scandals to their name. (Actually, I can't... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/new-york/new-york-city-housewives-by-way-of-cleveland/72359/ Wed, 5 Mar 2008 00:00:00 EST This real housewife of New York City did not spend yesterday contemplating the purchase of a $2,655 gown. She did spend several minutes contemplating whether to throw out Friday night's chicken or serve it for dinner. Tasted fine. And that, dear readers, sums up everything you need to know about the reality show that made its debut on Bravo last night, "The Real Housewives of New York City." Whether fabulously wealthy or pathetically middle-class, housewives just aren't that fascinating to... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/new-york/mayor-knock-off-the-knockoffs/71967/ Wed, 27 Feb 2008 00:00:00 EST Sacks and drugs. You want to talk addictions? Drugs, you knew. But sacks — handbags, purses — are the next frontier. Every day, another sweet-face gal gets hooked on some high-price pocketbook she can't afford. Pretty soon she's jonesing so bad for Marc Jacobs, she's willing to break the law. She comes to New York and buys a counterfeit. Yesterday, Mayor Bloomberg held a press conference to announce a seizure of $1 million worth of just such ganja — er, goods — down in Chinatown's notorious... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/new-york/obama-cult-not-for-everyone/71569/ Wed, 20 Feb 2008 00:00:00 EST Let us start by saying that hope is good, political involvement is to be applauded, and young people are not all shallow sheep, flocking to the latest hip thing, be it a tattoo, tongue stud, iPod, or, ahem, presidential candidate. Okay, so now I can ask: Is the Obama campaign becoming a cult? It's hard not to sense something a little strange going on, considering the nearly unprecedented swell of love and fervor the man is inspiring. Contributions are pouring in. Endorsements are raining down... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/new-york/happy-valentines-day-you-may-be-watched/71189/ Wed, 13 Feb 2008 00:00:00 EST Happy Valentine's Day, you cheating pig. No, that's not a Hallmark card — yet. But it probably should be. As private eyes, divorce lawyers, and especially the folks selling surveillance equipment know, Valentine's is the day suspicious spouses finally decide to get even. Or at least, get evidence. Then get even. "Come Valentine's Day, there's a big surge in interest in tracking spouses," the CEO of BrickHouse Security, Todd Morris, said. His Midtown-based company sells a smorgasbord of spyware... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/new-york/in-the-canyon-of-heroes-a-clash-of-two-supers/70791/ Wed, 6 Feb 2008 00:00:00 EST Darned if it didn't all come down to a tie. Half the people I met yesterday along the parade route (all of them blocking the view) said Super Tuesday's vote was the most important event of the day. The other half, also blocking the view, said no, the Super Bowl/Eli/Strahan/ Tyree/Go Giants/Oh-my-God-it's-the-Vince Lombardi trophy/18–1!/Super Parade was clearly the bigger deal. "I think that voting is more important because it impacts more people than the parade," Willie, a Brooklyn construction... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/we-are-all-giants-now/70764/ Tue, 5 Feb 2008 00:00:00 EST We did it, baby! The Empire State is back! WE MADE HISTORY! And to think that this past summer, when my younger son hung a "N.Y." keychain on his backpack, I thought it was just an unattractive little tourist thing he'd picked up. "Mom, it's the Giants logo," my 9-year-old said. He loves that keychain. I love him and thus began my introduction to a thing called, "Football." Also, "Fandom." In this sense, having a child turns out to be like having an exchange student. Except instead of learning... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/new-york/more-american-than-thanksgiving-super-bowl/70411/ Wed, 30 Jan 2008 00:00:00 EST Let's call the Super Bowl what it is: the newest, still evolving, most popular, most passionately observed, most sociologically fascinating holiday in America. Hear the "Lenore Galore" podcast: Download the mp3 file Plus, there's a slew of commercials to watch — and a football game, even. As the big day approaches and Americans are stocking up on the fixin's, it's possible to see the twin trends of our culture writ large. On the one hand, we are a nation preparing to eat an entire day's worth... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/new-york/nothing-super-for-jets-fans/69990/ Wed, 23 Jan 2008 00:00:00 EST "Go Giants … I guess." That's the rousing cheer New Jersey native Frank Spina is practicing for Super Bowl Sunday. He's looking forward to the game as eagerly as a prisoner who gets to choose between lethal injection and a firing squad. Such is the fate of the Jets fan. The problem, for Jets fans, is complex. (Besides the problem that they are now associated with the guys yelling at women to take off their shirts. And the problem of a 4-12 season. And the problem of having a nickname that... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/new-york/why-snobbery-tastes-so-sweet/69576/ Wed, 16 Jan 2008 00:00:00 EST Now there's proof that snobby, shallow morons have more fun. But of course you knew that already. The proof comes from Standford's Graduate School of Business, where Professor Baba Shiv decided to study the effects of price on pleasure: If something costs more, does it actually make one happier? (And if it does, why is my idea of heaven a giant 99-cent store?) Hear the "Lenore Galore" podcast: Download the mp3 file Mr. Shiv and his co-author from the California Institute of Technology already... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/spin-spun-too-far/69509/ Tue, 15 Jan 2008 00:00:00 EST So is Hillary Clinton really saying that, when you get right down to it, Martin Luther King Jr. is just a footnote in the history of civil rights? Oh come on. And yet, that's what the issue of the week has become, thanks to that great American political pastime: Taking one remark — maybe even a particularly stupid one — and trying to turn it into the candidate's defining, defeating moment. Problem is … sometimes it works. Hear the "Lenore Galore" podcast: Download the mp3 file What brought this... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/new-york/wrinkle-of-hope-in-nh/69153/ Wed, 9 Jan 2008 00:00:00 EST Rush Limbaugh put it best. Contemplating a photo of Senator Clinton looking wrinkled and weary a few weeks back, he asked, "Will this country want to actually watch a woman get older before their eyes on a daily basis?" Iowa said no way. New Hampshire seems to have said: Maybe. That's a ray of hope (and good old change), considering the ranks of wrinkled ladies are pretty thin in public life. They've been hard to find on post-"Golden Girls" TV, and almost invisible at the Cineplex. So seeing... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/new-york/whatever-floats-your-boat-show/68767/ Wed, 2 Jan 2008 00:00:00 EST The New York National Boat Show is filled with boat nuts, fishing nuts, worm nuts, honey roasted nuts (overpriced, like every other snack at the Javits Center), and at least one anchovy nut. Or perhaps a better word is "enthusiast." As in, "The enthusiast was nuts about the boat." "This boat matches my personality," an attendee in leather boots and a Bendel bracelet, Jennifer D'Antoni, said yesterday as she leaned against a $1.4 million 52 Ovation yacht. "It's a sort of high-end thing." Below... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/opinion/modified-resolutions/68688/ Fri, 28 Dec 2007 00:00:00 EST Jot this down on your calendar, please: No head banging. Pencil it in for January 4, 10:17 p.m., because that's right about when you will be testing your forehead against different walls, trying to decide the one you want to bang it against, as punishment for failing so miserably. (I like stucco.) You will have failed, of course, at keeping your New Year's resolutions. All of them. But you really shouldn't blame yourself, for the simple reason that it's not your fault. Resolutions just don't... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/new-york/new-year-a-new-set-of-anxieties/68554/ Wed, 26 Dec 2007 00:00:00 EST Some people — optimistic, well-adjusted, curious — pause just about now to wonder what marvelous ideas and inventions we will see in the upcoming year. And then there's everyone else. "What's going to kill us now?" we wonder. "Some new drug-resistant, brain-eating bacteria? Teddy bears stuffed with rat poison? A huge environmental catastrophe Al Gore forgot to warn us about? And whatever happened to SARS? You know, it's supposed to start with a fever and I feel kind of warm and …" Well, that's... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/new-york/take-that-mr-smug-sperm/68324/ Wed, 19 Dec 2007 00:00:00 EST Ah, the romance of the Christmas Eve dance. Jewish singles mingle, tingle. Eyes meet. Sparks fly. And in the midst of this whirling swirl of hope, let us pause for a gentle plug for egg-freezing, brought to you by your friendly fertility clinic. Hear the "Lenore Galore" podcast: Download the mp3 file Attendees at the 21st annual Matzo Ball here in New York will find it sponsored by Extend Fertility, a company that proposes to do exactly what its name says — extend a woman's fertile years... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/new-york/year-in-song-so-sing-along/67937/ Wed, 12 Dec 2007 00:00:00 EST Finding it hard to remember the year that just passed? Let us aid your recall, in song: Hear these songs: Download the mp3 file TINKLE BEAUS OR, THE LARRY CRAIG SONG (TO "JINGLE BELLS") Sitting on the throne In a Minnesota loo Very far from home Don't have much to do Tap my dapper toe Underneath the stall Suddenly a cop leaps out And pins me to the wall. But! I'm not gay, I'm not gay I'm in no way gay. Oh how dumb to think I'd come and look for sex that way. Hey! I'm not gay I'm not gay I'm in... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/new-york/tearing-up-over-americas-favorite-root/67499/ Wed, 5 Dec 2007 00:00:00 EST It was not a big crowd. Okay, it was not a crowd: It was about a dozen shivering people who gathered yesterday in front of the modest, two-floor building on Coney Island Avenue where Gold's Horseradish was born 75 years ago this week. See? That's why it wasn't a crowd. Horseradish just doesn't garner the kind of respect that is given, say, caviar — or even ketchup. There's something a little homely about the condiment, in part because to Jews, at least, it has long starred at Passover as the... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/new-york/its-our-dollar-their-monopoly-money/67109/ Wed, 28 Nov 2007 00:00:00 EST Oh, to be middle-aged, middle-class, and schlepping around SoHo. Oh wait a sec — I am. So why am I not beaming like everyone else coming out of shops where skirts with unfinished seams and coats too cool to actually close sell for more than a family vacation? Because I am an American. Which means I am paid in dollars. Which means I am still part of the world where something that costs $100 feels like it costs $100, even though if I were a European awash in euros, that same item would be about... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/new-york/death-of-a-toilet-paper-salesman/66825/ Wed, 21 Nov 2007 00:00:00 EST As Dick Wilson, the man who played Mr. Whipple, left us on Monday for clouds even softer than Charmin's, it's hard not to mourn the era he took with him: The era when we loved the ad icons that we later grew to hate, that we later ended up loving again, albeit somewhat ironically, as representatives of a sweeter, more gullible, less perfectionist time. That era. The years that Mr. Whipple ruled the airwaves — the 1960s and the '70s (though the campaign limped along till 1985) — were the golden... LENORE SKENAZY http://www.nysun.com/new-york/when-the-fine-print-becomes-fine-art/66398/ Wed, 14 Nov 2007 00:00:00 EST "In our daily experience, few things are as emotionally devastating as being put on hold, trying to resolve some problem." That's a quote from a Brooklyn curator, Colby Chamberlain, and I nominate it for the thought of the day. Or decade! Or maybe it should be chiseled on the Statue of Bureaucracy — a giant lady we'd erect in the harbor after years of fruitless redesigns and cost overruns. Instead of a torch, she'd be holding up a phone blaring, "Your call is important to us. Please continue to...