Illuminating the Fourth
This article is from the archive of The New York Sun before the launch of its new website in 2022. The Sun has neither altered nor updated such articles but will seek to correct any errors, mis-categorizations or other problems introduced during transfer.
With Independence Day approaching, Mother Bloomberg is fussing about the dangers of fireworks. The city gave a demonstration yesterday by exploding powerful illegal fireworks inside two unsuspecting watermelons. The demonstration, which left a bomb detonation site in the Bronx sticky and a pack of cameramen agape, leaves us a bit confused.
One wonders what lessons are to be learned at Rodman’s Neck. We suppose the no-longer extant watermelons represented human heads — ones that managed somehow to swallow lit fireworks. The demonstration now makes us more than certain that human heads were not made to withstand such internal explosions. But there are, after all, plenty of other ways a watermelon — or, alas, a human head — can be destroyed. Watermelons cannot survive being run over by automobiles or dropped from tall buildings. As the comedian Gallagher has shown time after time, watermelons also have trouble measuring up to sledge hammers.
By the logic of the private fireworks bans in place in New York state, we might as well ban automobiles, tall buildings, and sledgehammers.
Yesterday’s demonstration is another example of the hysteria that has set in among local politicians regarding fireworks since the Giuliani administration began its crackdown in 1995. As far as city officials are concerned, all non-professional fireworks lead to head explosions and must be outlawed. It is this view of fireworks that has led city and state officials to uphold a ban on the novelty variety, like sparklers, snappers, and glowworms, which are tamer and are perfectly legal in many surrounding states. While injuries related to fireworks have gone down in recent years in the city, we can’t help but look back fondly on the days when fireworks were more associated with patriotism and joy than with the shattering of skulls or rinds.
Wrote John Adams: Independence Day “ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade…bonfires and illuminations from one end of this continent to the other, from this day forward ever more.”
Legislative efforts to ease the restrictions have faltered, but the approaching Fourth makes us hope that the coming year will see reforms that allow us to enjoy our watermelon with a pleasant and harmless crackle in the background.
