What would you say if I told you that the Mets could add Detroit outfielder Magglio Ordonez’s bat to their roster for nothing at all? That rather than watching one of a variety of fifth outfielders or converted second basemen flail away at the plate like a medicated Al Leiter, manager Jerry Manuel could pencil a real power hitter into the lineup in left field, at no cost in money or prospects? And that this could happen as soon as today?

Assuming you’re a Mets fan, this would probably strike you as a pretty good deal, which would make you one better than the team brass. For weeks, as the team has waited first for Moises Alou and now for Ryan Church to return, an endless and dizzying parade has traipsed through the patches of grass on either side of Carlos Beltran. This has had better results, such as Fernando Tatis’s improbable run, and worse results, such as the Marlon Anderson experience. Still, for all their desperation, the Mets have yet to give a single at-bat to New Orleans outfielder Val Pascucci. It’s inexplicable.

This year, Pascucci, a 29-year-old veteran of the minor leagues and Japan, is hitting .277 AVG/.403 OBA/.503 SLG. As Baseball Prospectus has it, that translates to a .252/.359/.486 line in the majors, which is about as good as Ordonez’s line — or Vladimir Guerrero’s. Given the ample proof suggesting that properly adjusted minor league statistics are every bit as predictive as major league ones, and that Pascucci has been putting up identical lines since 2004, it’s pretty clear that the Mets are simply sitting on a player who would be something like the fourth- or fifth-best hitter in their lineup.

The fair objection usually raised to players like this is that they’re in the minor leagues for a reason — they can’t play defense, they can’t hit left-handers, they can’t run, they can’t hit curveballs, and so on. This is usually true, as anyone who’s watched such Pascucci-types as Jack Cust or Matt Stairs will concede. Even if you grant the point, though, it doesn’t matter. The issue isn’t whether Pascucci is actually as good as superstars like Ordonez and Guerrero, but whether he’s better than Marlon Anderson.

At risk of shrillness, this is a point worth emphasizing: For the last two nights, while facing off against Philadelphia with first place on the line, the Mets have, rather than playing a fine power hitter whom they can pay the minimum salary, started someone who’s hitting .211/.252/.289. Phillies ace Cole Hamels, by comparison, is hitting .245/.245/.286. If your airline made decisions like this, you’d be floating somewhere in the Atlantic right now. If your doctor made decisions like this, you’d have leeches attached to your face as you read this. It’s inexcusable.

General manager Omar Minaya should call up Pascucci today, because unless he’s talking to Barry Bonds’s agent, there aren’t better options. Alou isn’t coming back this year, and given that Church suffered two traumatic brain injuries this year and isn’t expected back until August at the earliest, the working assumption has to be that he isn’t either. The outfielders who may be available in trades — players such as Seattle’s Raul Ibanez and Pittsburgh’s Xavier Nady — are either no better than Pascucci or are expected to fetch a price the Mets can’t or shouldn’t pay. And everyone else who could conceivably be run out on the field has been, with abysmal results. Mets left fielders are collectively hitting .245/.300/.326 this year, second-worst in the National League, and aside from Church the right fielders have been every bit as bad.

Another way of putting this is that, had the Mets been playing Pascucci in left field for the last two months, they’d probably be alone in first place. He’s that good a hitter, and the left fielders have been that bad. Everyone who’s done so much as watched five games this year can reel off a list of reasons why the team isn’t running away from the field, ranging from Willie Randolph’s decision making to Jose Reyes’s occasional brain cramps to entirely predictable injuries to old players such as Alou and Martinez. In truth, though, as uninspiring and uninspired as the team has been at times, the difference between a three-way dogfight for first and a two- or three-game lead is, quite arguably, simply the difference between Pascucci on the one hand and Anderson, Nick Evans, Endy Chavez, and their fellows on the other. That’s not the fault of players asked to step into roles they’re not suited for, but it’s the reality of the situation. Unless some awfully clever plan is in the offing, it’s time to do what should have been done months ago, and give Pascucci a clear shot to prove he really is nothing more than a bush leaguer.

tmarchman@nysun.com