It’s a good thing Red Sox left fielder Manny Ramirez is a baseball player. He’d have a hard life if he had to make his money in journalism, poker, real estate, politics, consulting, or any other field in which one needs to bargain with people

The whole art of negotiating is about making people think you’re grudgingly accepting what you really wanted all along; it’s about making people think they have options when they don’t. That’s why anyone who’s ever had to do anything as complex as, say, cut a deal with a rental broker (“I’ll pay five percent!” “Fifteen!” “Ten in cash!” “Done!”),had to have at least metaphorically slapped their own forehead when they heard about Ramirez’s latest beetle-brained demands.

Ramirez, for the 734th time, has made it known that he wants out of Boston. This time, to the ire of the Sox’ front office, he’s claiming that he’ll only accept a trade to Cleveland or Anaheim, which is his right as a “10-5” player – that is, a player with 10 years of service time, five of them with the same club. What’s more, he’s claimed that he’ll sit out spring training if he doesn’t get his way.

It’s possible Ramirez and his agent have arrived at this strategy as a means of directing Ramirez to the Mets, or some other team. By making a grandstanding claim that he’ll only acquiesce to being traded to one of two teams, he perhaps makes it likelier that he’ll be moved to another one if given enough incentive. More likely, given Ramirez’s history of childish behavior and petulant outbursts (all excused because he’s crafted an image as a capricious dimwit, rather than an egomaniacal boaster), he actually means it, at least for now.

If so, he’s in a bad situation. Cleveland and Anaheim are shrewdly-run teams with no particular use for an aging defensive liability with three years and $57 million left on his contract. The Indians have the payroll to take Ramirez on, and could (like every team) use his bat, but was arguably the best regular-season team in the league before a late collapse cost them a playoff spot. They can take him or leave him. That leaves the Angels, who already have Vladimir Guerrero – a younger, more athletic Ramirez – and a payroll that ranked fifth in the majors last year.

With neither team desperate for him, and with the Red Sox in a horrible negotiating position, it’s impossible to imagine either team giving up much of value for Ramirez – they’d want the Sox to eat salary, and they’d have little incentive to give up prized prospects. And even if a deal could be consummated, it would leave the Sox with some cash and nowhere to spend it – Chicago’s Paul Konerko had a heck of an October, but he’s no Manny Ramirez.

Nor is it immediately clear what team has both the means to get Ramirez and the need for him. It’s easy to imagine some quasi-contender with more money than it knows what to do with, like the Dodgers or Diamondbacks, making a deal for him – but just as easy to imagine him rejecting them.

Of course, New York fans want to know if Ramirez will eventually land in Queens with the Mets. It’s difficult to know. I do know the Mets shouldn’t want him. Ramirez may or may not be as bad a fielder as his reputation has it – the fact that he plays half his games in Fenway, where the left fielder is essentially backing up the shortstop, makes it hard to tell – but it’s a safe bet he’d be a disaster in the spacious Shea outfield. That’s a big deal, because he’s not only an incomplete player, he’s an incomplete hitter as well.

He’s still an elite hitter, of course, but because he walks less often than equally prodigious sluggers, a lot more of his value than you might think is tied up in his batting average, which has fallen for three straight years now, from .349 in 2002 to this year’s .292 mark, leaving him this year with a fine but not excellent .388 on-base average. Ramirez will be 34 next year – say he drops 20 points in batting average between the move to pitcher-friendly Shea and aging. All of a sudden, he’s a flaky defensive liability hitting .270 with a .370 OBA making $19 million – which doesn’t take into account how brutal Shea is on right-handed power hitting.

Looking over the whole situation, it appears quite likely that, once again, Ramirez will return to Boston to drive in his customary 130 runs before the adoring Fenway faithful. Nothing else really makes sense, at least if the needs of teams and not a player who’s grousing for no apparent reason are what we’re thinking about here. That might disappoint a certain segment of Mets fans, but maybe their feelings can be salved by memories of Mo Vaughn and Roberto Alomar.

tmarchman@nysun.com