Now that “The Sopranos” and “Big Love” dominate the Sunday television equation, shows like ABC’s “What About Brian” don’t stand a chance – and for that we owe HBO even more gratitude and respect. This new series from the J.J. Abrams factory (he’s the co-creator of “Lost”) has only the hope that addicts of “Desperate Housewives” and “Grey’s Anatomy” have room in their television diets for yet another dumb series about the crazy things that happen to attractive people. Part of what makes “The Sopranos” and “Big Love “so much fun to watch are actors like James Gandolfini, Bill Paxton, Edie Falco, and Jeanne Tripplehorn – men and women who don’t look like they just rolled off the assembly line at Mattel.

But the networks remain obsessed with the young and wrinkle-free, to the point where actors on television have become impossibly gorgeous. It’s a demented obsession, in an industry run almost exclusively by short white men over 40. It’s as though the commercials have bled into the programming, and everyone’s a model. The actors in “What About Brian” – most especially its sultry star, Barry Watson – look like they’re on the way to a cheerleader reunion. Square jaws, firm bodies, and smooth complexions abound. The casting of Rosanna Arquette as Brian’s older sister represents the show’s solitary sop to women over 40, though the sexy Ms. Arquette hardly qualifies as One of Us.

Brian does have problems, though. To most of his friends, he appears to be little more than a Peter Pan who can’t settle down; too many good-looking women want to sleep with him. As it turns out, Brian has found his true love. But his best friend, Adam, found her first. She’s a gorgeous doctor (we’ve been primed by “Grey’s Anatomy” to accept without question the idea of a hottie physician) and she loves Brian, too; but Adam has proposed to her and that’s that. At the end of the pilot, we’re expected to wonder how Brian will deal with this romantic predicament – but it’s hard to wrap yourself up with a guy who refers to his previous girlfriend only as Car Girl, and only because some writer couldn’t come up with a better way for Brian to meet her than in a fender-bender.

In a way, Brian reminds me a little of Tom Frank, the singer Keith Carradine played in “Nashville” – a lady-killer who couldn’t contain his addiction to conquest. (The “killer” motif gets a plug in the “Brian” pilot, when his just dumped girlfriend likens his lady killing ways to serial killer Ted Bundy.) But Tom had a talent that fueled his allure; Brian doesn’t seem to do much of anything except romance beautiful women. Even his car – an old wood paneled station wagon that belonged to his grandfather – is meant to make him look like he’s suffering but only adds to his appeal.

On American television, a concept like “Brian” deteriorates quickly into a desultory soap opera. Once in a while – with Darren Star-created soaps like “Melrose Place” and even the underrated “Central Park West” – those picture-perfect ensembles come with a built-in story we care about, or can get our minds around. In truth, “Lost” works on the exact same principle; that hit show’s fundamental suspension of disbelief is that so many beautiful people could have been on one doomed flight. But at least on “Lost” there’s a good yarn to keep us entertained, and character actors in every scene – which reminds me of the astonishing performance by guest Michael Emerson on “Lost” as Henry Gale; he’s an endlessly riveting actor. Would that anyone on “Brian” could match Mr. Emerson’s virtuosity.

Sunday night has always set the ultimate standard for great television. From shows like “Ed Sullivan” and “Bonanza” and the Smothers Brothers in the 1960s to the influential series of this decade – “The Sopranos,” “Six Feet Under,” “Sex and the City,” and “Curb Your Enthusiasm” – the standards for the medium have been set on the last night of the week, and with astonishing results. Skip Sunday night’s debut of “What About Brian” on ABC, and choose instead to be blown away by the hottest television around. It’s on HBO, and it costs more, but it’s worth it.

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The best two minutes of television I saw this week came, of all places, on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” – in a short video that reimagined Tom Cruise’s interview on “Oprah” with the actor speaking in the voice of Isaac Hayes from “South Park.” It demonstrated yet again this new hybrid form of comedy that has lately taken hold on the Internet – videos dubbed for comic purposes, from movie trailers to talk show appearances. Known as “viral videos,” the best of them turn up quickly either on www.youtube.com or AOL’s comedy page. (That’s where I caught the Kimmel clip.) A few favorites from this past week included clips from Liza Minnelli’s dissembling on “Larry King Live” and Tyra Banks’s catwalk spill on “America’s Next Top Model.” It’s a wonderful way to keep up with television without actually watching it. Wonderful, and a little scary.

dblum@nysun.com