Dear God, why would anyone want to be an actor? You take three subways, arrive at the audition, sign in – and instantly you’re squirming under the glares of your competitors. You can’t stop thinking about your hair, your outfit, that cookie you ate yesterday. When you finally get on stage, it’s usually humiliating. All this, just to be rejected by some idiot for a part you don’t even want.

The talented writer-actors of Mr. Miyagi’s Theatre Company have neatly solved the actor’s dilemma by banding together to create “Sides: The Fear Is Real…” This whip-smart series of sketches based on the actors’ real life audition nightmares began life as a 2003 Fringe Festival entry, and it still has the warmth of its friends-fooling-around-in-the-basement roots. But as directed by Anne Kauffman, “Sides” is a lean, quick-moving show that’s successfully shed the usual improv flab.

The six winning performers who play these 19 characters have more than the usual actors’ bond; as Asian Americans, they’ve endured a special subcategory of audition torture. (“I’m just gonna give you a quick note,” a casting agent interrupts. “When you see R say L, when you see L, say R.”) The bits of audition dialogue come directly from “sides” (script sheets) handed out at actual casting calls. Like the rest of the show, the lifted dialogue has the kind of absurd specificity you just can’t make up. (As in: “She be all over my kimchee ass.”)

Drama queens playing drama queens could be a recipe for disaster, but “Sides” plays it straight. In this world, the actors really want jobs, and the casting agents really want talent. The fear is real – whether it’s the clumsy panic of an actor completely drenched in sweat, or the sheer terror of the actor who wasn’t expecting to have to dance. A normal human being would flee these situations, but actors, bless them, will never abandon the audition, which creates a great engine for comedy.

In one of the show’s funniest moments, a punk girl wearing a Walkman (Jane Cho) sings along with a number from the “Lion King,” miming all the different animals in turn. She wears everything on her sleeve: her doubts about the quality of what she is doing, her determination to squelch said doubts, and her solemn faith in the overriding power of her talent. The scene is both sweetly touching and flat-out hilarious. Even the vainest characters are played sincerely. Rodney To’s foreign director is genuinely inspired by his own profundities. (“Close your eyes. Open. You see?”)

The sketch format gets a boost here from some creative staging. In one nifty sequence, each departing hopeful slips into the director’s chair, immediately becoming the next casting agent. In another scene, two actors’ video audition is beamed live to house monitors. Eager to make a professional-looking film, the actors sprint around the stage to create their own camera angles – striding into camera to zoom in on their own faces, ducking under the lens to create a one-shot.

“Sides” ends with an audition gone terribly wrong involving a roomful of anxious bad dancers. When the hip-hop choreographer of a Brooklyn version of “Medea” yells “Freestyle!” the actors’ humiliation is absolute. But one last time, they take it from the top, and suddenly the jig is up: All six actors shake and groove in perfect unison. It’s proof of the power of the performances that the audience has nearly forgotten how good these people are at what they do. Their warm camaraderie has an irresistible charm; you can almost see how it could be fun to be an actor.

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The fear is real for the 10 aspiring actors who will deliver a monologue at each installment of “The Audition,” a “reality theater event” complete with a panel of director-judges and voting audience members. As each contestant steps forward and awkwardly gives a name, glancing nervously at the three onstage judges, it seems incredible that this mumbling, diffident person could be an actor. But then the transformation begins.

These monologues alone would make for an interesting first act. But still more interesting are the actor-director interactions that follow each monologue. When a director offers an adjustment – “do it as if you were shouting this to your friends as their train was pulling out of the station” – the performance changes before your eyes, flashing with fresh energy. In the second act’s two-person scenes, it’s fun to watch the director change the dynamics entirely with five or six well-chosen words.

Despite its slick-sounding concept, “The Audition” is low-tech, bare-bones entertainment. The actors are drawn from the first 160 people to call and answer an ad, because the organizer was trying not to use too many daytime cell minutes. The creator, 26-year-old actress Betsy Head, is a sympathetic host; she carries the clipboard, hands out the manila envelopes, and says soothing things like, “We’ve all been there.” Another authentic (if disappointing) touch is that when the actors make the final cut, they’re presented with a lackluster script. But this is an audition, after all, and you can count on the actors to give it their all to the bitter end.

“Sides: The Fear Is Real…” until October 30 (45 Bleecker Street at Lafayette Street, 212-307-4100).

“The Audition” until October 1 (154 Christopher Street, at Greenwich Street, 212-696-7303).