SUMMER STORM
R, 98 minutes

Marco Kreuzpaintner’s slight comingof-age drama, which opens today at City Cinemas Village East, mostly takes place at a rural rowing competition. Best friends Tobi (Robert Stadlober) and Achim (Kostja Ullmann) row for the same team but play for different ones. Tobi may have a thing for Achim, but no amount of wrasslin’, two-man bowling, or synchronized jerking off uncovers a reciprocal attraction.

Adding to the sexual confusion, the pals face an all-gay visiting crew who call themselves the Queerstrokers. But Tobi spends the bulk of the movie agonizing over his jealousy towards Achim and his sweetheart. It doesn’t help that he’s also supposed to be leading his team, a bunch of hetero teenagers looking to have fun in tents. His own girlfriend is clueless, and a couple of homophobic teammates make jolly remarks about the Queerstrokers.

It’s all standard stuff for the comingout genre – audiences face the quandary of a marginalized tale that somehow already seems codified. Mr. Stadlober’s performance at least moves earnestly between sorrow and frustration. His colleagues are free of pretense but occasionally run into roadblocks of after school-special dialogue.

When a Queerstroker kisses one of Tobi’s teammates, who literally runs off screaming, all hell breaks loose. The kid gets lost, clouds break, the search de volves into fisticuffs. The movie collapses into coherence – sending us off with an idiotic trophy ceremony montage and smiles all around.

– Nicolas Rapold

PUZZLEHEAD
unrated, 81 minutes

In the future, we’ll all live in Brooklyn, and the line between man and machine will be only a matter of facial hair. That’s the bleak vision of James Bai, writer-director of “Puzzlehead,” a quiet, handmade sci-fi flick that retells “Frankenstein” – only with all the life drained out. Mr. Bai’s future closely resembles Red Hook: a bleak, industrial landscape where no one walks the sidewalks, residents hole up in their brownstones, and dusty delis contain a smattering of unlabeled cans. The few people you see are too busy beating each other up to give you much notice. There’s nothing to do, really, except build yourself a robot double.

Which is exactly what the bearded scientist, Walter (Stephen Galadia), does. His robot, named Puzzlehead (and also played by Stephen Galadia), is something of a Williamsburg hipster, doing chores, playing harpsichord, and seducing the local deli owner. The creator is differentiated from his creation only by his beard, and once Walter shaves it off they trade their identities back and forth like baseball cards at a collector’s convention. Lots of romantic energy is ex pended on Julie, the deli owner which is surprising, seeing as she has all the charm of a bar of soap.

Sporting a low-tech look, with impeccable technical credits, “Puzzlehead” feels a lot more lush than it should. Although it’s a trifle mechanical, that’s probably the point. Despite a few lumpy patches, this sharp flick has all the smarts of a Harlan Ellison short story or a really good episode of “The Twilight Zone.”

– Grady Hendrix

THE BEAUTY ACADEMY OF KABUL
unrated, 74 minutes

Western missionaries have always tried to bring spiritual enlighten ment to undeveloped countries, but as we learn in “The Beauty Academy of Kabul,” a new breed of missionary has arisen and it worships gods with strange names. “Those scissors were donated by Frederic Fekkai,” one of the teachers shrieks in horror when her Afghan student reveals that she doesn’t have her scissors. Wiped out by the Soviet invasion, ground into dust by the Taliban, bombed by the Americans, Afghanistan is a traumatized country whose population has endured horrors most of us can’t imagine. Horrors so shocking that, apparently, only an army of fully licensed beauticians can help, by invading Kabul and opening a free beauty school.

This documentary will make you laugh, cry, and wince in equal measure as the American beauticians try to teach proper perming techniques to women who have a hard time finding antibiotics. Some of the teachers are Afghan women who fled the Soviet invasion 22 years ago, and it’s heartbreaking to see them confronting the lives they left behind. But the Anglo beauticians are universally appalling. Terri likes to talk about energy, lectures the women on hygiene, and recommends that if they sleep too much they might be depressed and should “consult a professional.” Debbie, a good-natured Liza Minnelli lookalike, seems oblivious to the fact that she’s in another country. “This is no different than driving in Indiana,” she blithely observes. The teachers refer to the “beauty industry” in breathless, reverent tones and seem to think that hair color has done as much for world peace as Gandhi. But sometimes, in their own weird way, they get it right. “I’ve never been to a country,” Debbie observes, “that wanted normal so badly.”

– G.H.