Does Hud Morgan’s girlfriend ever forgive him for putting parties ahead of their relationship? Does Tony Scalfani’s fianceé mind that he has to chase down an interview with Christian Slater on the eve of their wedding? Does Kerry Burke ever get a new umbrella to replace his dilapidated mess? These are among the many potentially compelling questions left unanswered by the narrative-deprived new reality series, “Tabloid Wars,” which premieres tonight at 9 on Bravo. Instead of using the New York Daily News as a backdrop for the kinds of human dramas that drive television’s best nonfiction narratives, “Tabloid Wars” chooses instead to focus on the obvious — and unsatisfying — question of whether the paper will meet its 10:30 p.m. deadline each day. Guess what? It always does.

Buried beneath the detritus of the first two episodes — which focus on two days last summer when Bravo’s cameras followed Daily News reporters and editors in pursuit of copy — can be found a half-dozen appealing, provocative characters whose own stories, not the ones they cover, might have made for a fascinating short-run reality show. But inexplicably, the producers of “Tabloid Wars”devote most of their time to the drumbeat of the deadline.

In the first episode, a racial attack in Howard Beach sends reporters in search of witnesses who might give the paper an edge over its chief competitor, the New York Post. Mr. Scalfani, a police reporter, has to chase down the age of Christian Slater’s mother for a story on the bad-boy actor’s latest headlinegrabbing grope. The sad-sack Mr. Burke, his tattered backpack slung over his shoulder, makes his way to the scene by subway, spouting clichés like “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” to his editor. Meanwhile, reporter Tamer el-Ghobashy, racing to the same story by car — simultaneously driving, talking on his cell phone, taking notes, and playing to the Bravo camera riding shotgun — tells us: “The story is very very important. If we don’t get all the details, we’re lost.”

If only that were true of “Tabloid Wars.” Characters are so busy filing their stories that we never get the chance to see their private lives firsthand. Hudson Morgan, then the charismatic and ambitious young assistant to gossip columnist Lloyd Grove (Mr. Morgan has since left the paper), describes his personal life with as much charm as he can muster, but it would have been far more interesting to observe it for ourselves instead of trailing him at parties and openings. We see a wedding ring on the finger of Greg Gittrich, the preppy and engaging young deputy metro editor, but that’s all we get of his story; when he goes home at 11 p.m., the cameras get turned off. And Mr. Burke, the relentless reporter who just joined the Daily News after changing careers — and who bursts with the energy of a college intern — remains a mystery at the end of two episodes; even the contents of his backpack aren’t revealed.

Since-departed editor in chief Michael Cooke makes nominal appearances throughout, but the only taste of his personality comes when he wonders, aloud, whether the Post has mocked him in a cartoon promotional billboard.

Like the newspaper it’s covering, “Tabloid Wars” is guilty of false hype in its headline; there’s no war here, only daily battles waged for the latest scoop. And that conflict just isn’t dramatic enough to sustain a series. When the News beats the Post in its coverage of the Howard Beach attacks, we’re meant to feel a thrill, but instead we’re left wondering why we’re supposed to care about stacks of newspapers bound up in twine.

The real newsroom wars take place indoors, in the internecine competition among reporters for scoops and bylines and promotions and jobs. You’ll find yourself hungry at the end of each episode for the real scoops — the inside dope on the dynamic young men and women who produce the paper, and what makes them tick. By focusing on the ticking clock of the deadline, Bravo has committed the unpardonable journalistic sin of missing the real story.

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Reports that Jim Murphy will soon join ABC News as the senior executive producer of “Good Morning America” come just in time for a network news division beleaguered by bad luck. The daunting to-do list for the smart, creative Mr. Murphy — a former executive producer of the CBS Evening News — includes replacing Charles Gibson as co-anchor, keeping Diane Sawyer from bolting, and defeating the “Today” Show in the ratings. And that’s just for starters.

If Mr. Murphy is considering WABC’s Bill Ritter for the show’s male lead, he may want to watch last Friday’s broadcast with Mr. Ritter and Elizabeth Vargas as co-hosts. (Apparently Ms. Vargas’s obstetrician has kindly eased up on those demands for bed rest.) I refer him in particular to Mr. Ritter’s dead-on impression of a drunken master of ceremonies at an Atlantic City nightclub, as he introduced singer Taylor Hicks to the crowd gathered in Bryant Park for the show’s 8:30 a.m. half-hour. In a matter of moments he mixed up Stevie Wonder with Stevie Nicks, and then, correcting himself, introduced Mr. Hicks as Stevie Wonder. On the bright side, he did not refer to the gray-haired crooner as either James Taylor or Wild Bill Hickok.

dblum@nysun.com