Sweeps of Mass Destruction

This article is from the archive of The New York Sun before the launch of its new website in 2022. The Sun has neither altered nor updated such articles but will seek to correct any errors, mis-categorizations or other problems introduced during transfer.

The New York Sun

Yes, it’s sweeps time again – an increasingly meaningless stretch of time in the television schedule when networks allow themselves to revert to their basest instincts and deliver the programming they care most about: movies about mass destruction. It used to be that network advertisers based their buying patterns on the ratings delivered during the months of November, February, and May; those days have passed, but the networks still cling to the concept as an excuse to make overblown, multi-part sagas of mayhem and destruction, or movies about Martha Stewart. It’s hard to believe that an industry that produces classic television like “The Sopranos” and “Lost” still has programmers who feel compelled to make movies like “Category 7: The End of the World.” Maybe this is how the world ends – not with a bang, but with a wimpy CBS miniseries starring Shannen Doherty.


Really, it’s remarkable how little progress television has made in special event programming over its half-century of existence. If anything, there has been a pronounced regression since the 1970s, when wunderkind programmers Barry Diller and Michael Eisner at ABC introduced the “novel for television,” a sweeps stunt that brought us quality shows like “QB VII,” “Roots,” and “Brian’s Song.” They were 20-something visionaries who answered only to their own ambition, and the results revolutionized an industry. Nowadays, network executives compete over who can get the next Celine Dion or Shania Twain special. (Actually, they don’t compete; CBS’s king of retro thinking, Leslie Moonves, wins every time.) Sweeps no longer energize the television schedule, they enervate it – preempting perfectly good programs for boneheaded specials that aim low and, incredibly, find their mark. Why do people watch these movies, year after year? Not because they’re good, but because for the millions of Americans who can’t afford cable, there’s still no alternative to network television for free at-home entertainment.


But surely the American people can find something better to do next Sunday night than watch “Category 7: The End of the World,” which purports to portray a weather disaster so severe that it may actually threaten human existence. It’s not the worst idea I’ve ever heard; in the hands of Samuel Beckett it might have turned out fairly interesting. But left to director Dick Lowry, it’s something less than profound. It’s not even original; as a sequel to Mr. Lowry’s hit 2004 miniseries, “Category 6: Day of Destruction,” it’s just another egregious attempt by CBS to capitalize on a past success, with no new thinking involved. In the original, a hurricane moving north from the Gulf of Mexico heads directly into a tornado, and wreaks havoc over Chicago. This time, the nexus of the storm forms over Washington D.C. Toss in Tom Skerritt and Gina Gershon and you’ve got the ultimate television sweeps stunt – a movie that lulls the audience to sleep with the television turned on. Have you ever noticed that the volume of commercials is louder than the shows themselves? That’s not a coincidence; the networks want to wake you up for the most important part of their prime-time programming, tacitly acknowledging its function as a sedative.


The other broadcast networks share in the blame for this backward motion. NBC has a remake of “The Poseidon Adventure” planned for later this month, and ABC has the American Music Awards (not to be confused with a prize anyone cares about) and a Barbara Walters special about the 10 most fascinating Americans willing to talk to her. At least NBC and ABC have put some promotional muscle behind their most interesting shows, like “The West Wing” and “Lost” – both of which promise provocative episodes in November. To its credit, Fox has resisted the temptation to throw junky new programming at us, and is settling for very special episodes of its usual fare. The season premiere of Pamela Anderson’s “Stacked” is coming up on November 9, for those of you looking for a good night to hire a sitter and go to the movies.


***


Tomorrow night’s episode of “Law & Order” continues the show’s surprising and welcome creative resurgence this season. Oddly enough, it’s happening just as viewers are deserting the show, and that’s a shame for everyone involved. Taut, intricate mysteries have returned to the series after a few years of overly topical episodes; the notion of the unexpected twist, nearly abandoned over the last few seasons in favor of political obsessions, has returned with a vengeance.


Helping matters has been the replacement of Elizabeth Rohm with the far superior Annie Parisse as the new assistant district attorney. Her seeming soft side serves her well when it’s time to get tough and seek consecutive sentences instead of concurrent ones. And in tomorrow night’s episode, S. Epatha Merkerson turns in her finest performance to date as Lieutenant Van Buren, who gets herself emotionally wrapped up in a case about a barbaric birth-control method administered to women without their consent. If it was ripped from the headlines, it wasn’t from any newspaper I’m reading. I’m a bit bored with the histrionics of Dennis Farina – his addition as Jerry Orbach’s replacement hasn’t come close to filling that enormous void. Still, I’m watching “Law & Order” – now in its 16th season – every week, and not just because I’m addicted. It has returned to its position as the best procedural police drama on television, and that’s no small feat these days.


dblum@nysun.com


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