A Very Merry Rewrite for You

This article is from the archive of The New York Sun before the launch of its new website in 2022. The Sun has neither altered nor updated such articles but will seek to correct any errors, mis-categorizations or other problems introduced during transfer.

The New York Sun

New takes on old material mark this year’s holiday movie season – reworkings of books, television, other movies, even history itself. Behind all the Oscar bait and family comedies, however, there’s some hard thinking taking place, with tough looks at America’s founding, terrorism, cowboys, and, of course, great apes. Forthwith a selection of the season’s highlights:


DECEMBER 2


Aeon Flux


Charlize Theron makes like fellow Oscar-winner Halle Berry and dons skintight heroine chic as the assassin from MTV’s dystopic animated series. Featuring Sophie Okonedo (“Hotel Rwanda”), and Frances McDormand in electrical-storm pompadour. Karyn Kusama (“Girlfight”) directs.


First Descent


Dude, check this out: an entire documentary about snowboarding. Five all-stars hurl themselves down Alaskan mountains. Filmmakers Kemp Curly and Kevin Harrison dutifully record the awesomeness from helicopters.


Transamerica


Born-again Christian, male-to-female transsexual Bree (Felicity Huffman) meets a son she never knew she had, from her life as a man. Duncan Tucker directs this road movie of self-discovery.


The Kid & I


A teen with cerebral palsy wants to headline an action movie. Starring Tom Arnold, that perennially starstruck alsoran, as the put-upon director. Directed by Penelope Spheeris (“Decline of the Western Civilization” or “Wayne’s World,” depending on your street cred).


Be Here To Love Me


Margaret Brown’s documentary about unsung singer-songwriter Townes van Zandt, whose haunting songs made millions for Emmylou Harris, Willie Nelson, and others.


DECEMBER 7


The World’s Fastest Indian


Anthony Hopkins grits his teeth against the wind as racer Burt Monro, the New Zealander who broke speed records in 1967. The Indian in question is a custom-built superbike. Aussie director Roger Donaldson contributes Down Under cred.


DECEMBER 9


Brokeback Mountain


Gay love in the mythic West, in Ang Lee’s ballyhooed romance of two cowboys. Heath Ledger and jarheaded Jake Gyllenhaal star in the adaptation of the E. Annie Proulx novel.


Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe


The beloved C.S. Lewis series gets Potterized, and the war between pagan and Christian fantasy fans can at last begin. “Shrek” director Andrew Adamson launches the potential franchise.


Memoirs of a Geisha


The original Arthur Golden best seller combined rags-to-riches with Japanese exoticism. What’s missing? Showbiz! “Chicago” director Rob Marshall obliges, with the luminous Ziyi Zhang as the geisha who knocks down passing bicyclists with a single look.


Mrs. Henderson Presents


My word! Dame Judi Dench is a rich widow turned theater manager who believes wartime England should have a place where the naked ladies dance. With Bob Hoskins as her producer. Directed by Stephen Frears (“High Fidelity”).


Marebito


The director of “Ju-On: The Grudge” (Takashi Shimizu) presents this quickie about a Tokyo cameraman who travels to the underworld below the subway – and brings back a thirsty succubus.


DECEMBER 14


King Kong


New York City’s most famous tourist makes a return visit. With Jack Black as the showman, Naomi Watts as the Beast’s beauty, and Adrien Brody as someone who gets kicked around a lot. “The Lord of the Rings” himself, Peter Jackson, directs, wielding CGI magic.


The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada


Tommy Lee Jones directs and stars in this grim border drama. Rancher Pete Perkins (Mr. Jones) befriends worker Melquiades (Julio Cesar Cedillo), whom he buries. Eventually. With Barry Pepper, Dwight Yoakem, and a criss-crossing script by Guillermo Arriaga (“21 Grams”).


DECEMBER 16


The Family Stone


A young man’s fiancee (Sarah Jessica Parker) runs the gantlet of his obnoxious family, led by grown-up nightmare-hippie-girl Diane Keaton. Gray Christmas comedy or undermotivated Don Roos issuefest? With Dermot Mulroney, Luke Wilson, and Rachel McAdams.


The Producers


The smash musical turns affordable. Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick reprise their stage roles. Featuring Will Ferrell as the mad “Springtime for Hitler” auteur and Uma Thurman as leggy, dizzy Ulla. Susan Stroman directs.


Master of the Crimson Armor


This sumptuous Chinese period fantasy limns the love triangle around a concubine (Cecilia Cheung). Directed by Chen Kaige, esteemed Fifth Generation filmmaker known here for “Farewell My Concubine.”


DECEMBER 21


Cheaper by the Dozen 2


Hollywood’s love affair with high fertility continues in this sequel to the 2003 comedy about the enormous Baker family. This time the gang goes on vacation. Steve Martin plays patriarch, in his latest slide into the dorkdom only feigned in his early comedy routines.


Fun With Dick and Jane


Jim Carrey and Tea Leoni play a respectable young couple who turn to robbery to keep up with the Joneses after a job loss. A remake of the malaisedays 1977 comedy (no sign of the times, we hope). Dean Parisot (“Galaxy Quest”) directs.


The White Countess


A blind American (Ralph Fiennes) and a Russian exile (Natasha Richardson) find romance among the gathering ruins of pre-war Shanghai. Director James Ivory, sans Merchant, maintains the signature look: history as lovely wallpaper. Also featuring two Redgraves.


DECEMBER 23


Cache


A bourgeois French family receives mysterious surveillance tapes of their own house. Director Michael Haneke again acts as the icy messenger of our Age of Anxiety. With Daniel Auteuil and Juliette Binoche.


Munich


The movie with a modest proposal: “Every civilization finds it necessary to negotiate compromises with its own val ues.” Steven Spielberg trades kiddie villains for the real thing: the 1972 slaughter of Israeli Olympic athletes by Palestinian terrorists. A conflicted Mossad agent (Eric Bana) hunts them down.


The Matador


A fading hitman (Pierce Brosnan in a mustache) and a fussy businessman (Greg Kinnear) cross paths and get entangled. With Hope Davis and Philip Baker Hall. Richard Shepard directs.


Hoodwinked


Shut-your-mouth animated update of “Little Red Riding Hood” co-directed by wisenheimers Cory Edwards, Todd Edwards, and Tony Leech. Voices include Glenn Close, Anne Hathaway (as Red), and David Ogden Stiers.


The Ringer


You asked for “Jackass”-does-Farrelly Bros., and you got it: Johnny Knoxville plays a businessman fixing to fix the Special Olympics by feigning a handicap and competing. Wait, you didn’t ask for that? Director Barry Blaustein is confused.


The Intruder


American screens finally glow with this poem of heartbreak by visionary French director Claire Denis (“Beau Travail,” “Friday Night”). The narrative of an inscrutable wanderer (Michel Subor) is mere backdrop to the wakingdream images of landscapes, literal and psychological.


DECEMBER 25


Casanova


Heath Ledger’s other role this month: the quintessential heterosexual lothario, meeting his match in a protofeminist writer (Sienna Miller). Oscar hack Lasse Hallstrom (“Chocolat,” “The Cider House Rules”) orchestrates the period romp.


The New World


Terrence Malick (“The Thin Red Line”) descends from the heavens again to direct a transcendent epic. The philosopher-filmmaker rewrites the discovery of America by way of Pocahontas and Jamestown. With Colin Farrell and actual Algonquin dialogue.


Rumor Has It …


The sneakiest of the season’s many rehashes: a woman about to get married (Jennifer Aniston) suspects that her family inspired “The Graduate.” With Shirley MacLaine as the ex-Mrs. Robinson, aka her grandmother, and Kevin Costner as Beau/Benjamin. Rob Reiner directs.


Wolf Creek


Three 20-something backpackers (Cassandra Magrath, Nathan Phillips, Kestie Morassi) pick the wrong guy to tow their car in this “outback horror” flick from Australia. Director Greg McLean’s debut is relentless, violent, and required viewing for the “Texas Chainsaw” fan base.


DECEMBER 28


Match Point


What would Christmas be without the dreaded obligation of a late-period Woody Allen movie? How about one that’s reportedly good? In his new drama, a young Englishman (Jonathan Rhys-Meyers) marries old money but foolishly carries on with an American (Scarlett Johansson).


The New York Sun

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