Gifts You Can’t Have
This article is from the archive of The New York Sun before the launch of its new website in 2022. The Sun has neither altered nor updated such articles but will seek to correct any errors, mis-categorizations or other problems introduced during transfer.

On December 20, less than 30% of a group that was surveyed had completed their Christmas purchases. That was down from last year, which we attribute to the increasing realization among shoppers that the discounts get steeper as the big day approaches. The figure may also reflect the undoubted rise in online shopping, a fact highlighted last Sunday morning when it was unusually difficult to connect to the Internet. All those bathrobed shoppers. Online buyers were encouraged to wait until the final days, even hours, to take advantage of Free Shipping. If bold type equates to screaming, our inbox was populated by a troupe of Banshees.
Whatever the reason, Christmas shoppers appear to have left their serious buying until the last minute, and they may be in Big Trouble. Since we attempt to be of help to our readers, we have a solution for those who have seriously mucked up. We advise giving your significant other something they can’t actually get. That way, you can pretend you placed the order ages ago, and escape the doghouse.
First on our list of unattainable objects is Bentley’s new Continental Flying Spur. Part of the allure of this automobile is the luxe interior and the ability to go 198 mph without lifting off the ground. But here’s the real appeal – you can’t get hold of one. This car, which sells for $164,990, is just now being shipped to America. About 500 cars have been delivered, according to a Bentley spokesman, Mark Tennant, against several thousand on order.
Delivery dates have slipped, and there’s some rumbling about money changing hands in order to hasten the process (a possibility Bentley rejects out of hand).The introduction of the Flying Spur has been such a success that a number of other automakers have announced that they, too, are going to put out cars that sell for $100,000.
Another impossible-to-get item is the Hermes crocodile Birken bag. These iconic handbags, essential arm candy for celebs and celeb-wannabes, sell for more than $15,000, and are occasionally spotted at one or another Hermes shop. Sightings of Pale Male inspire only slightly less excitement than the sight of an exotic skin Birken.
Normally the salespeople shake their heads sadly when asked about Birkens and try to steer customers to an alternative. Every now and then the company opens its wait list, and clients can special order a croc Birken. It takes a couple of years, but the envious looks make the wait worthwhile.
Another desirable yet unattainable gift is a custom-made Holland & Holland Royal over-and-under shotgun, which sells for about $115,000 (the price tag can grow by the addition of especially elaborate engraving, such as your coat of arms). These items take up to two years to deliver. A slightly shorter route would be ordering from David Mackay Brown, who makes about 30 custom roundaction shotguns each year in his workshop outside Glasgow. This style of gun is made exclusively in Scotland and was first introduced in 1887 by the firm of John Dickson & Sons. The Web site for Mr. Brown claims, “the quality and degree of workmanship has been keenly upheld.”
The wait today for one of Mr. Brown’s guns is a relatively short six to 10 months. These beauties sell for a more reasonable $65,000, but can be gussied up with custom engraving or precious metals to cost more than twice that amount. Such specialization could add another year to the wait. Delivery may also be delayed by the obligatory visit to Glasgow for the recommended custom measuring, which will determine your gun’s proportions.
If the gentleman on your list is not a sportsman, perhaps a high-end watch would suit. A lovely gift would be the Blancpain 1735 watch, which is not likely available for at least five years. That’s because only two watchmakers in the world are capable of making it, and it takes a whole year to produce.
The price, though high at $785,000, is evidently not a deterrent. The watch features a slim platinum case, a perpetual calendar, a split-second chronograph, a moon phase minder, and a minute repeater. This last item really did seem worth the high price tag; there are plenty of minutes in my day that could profit from being repeated, and if one had 60 of them that would mean a whole hour could be done over. Sadly, this has nothing to do with living your day twice, but instead refers to the watch sounding the hour “with two little hammers and a gong.”
For the collector, we recommend a rare book. Such is the demand for first edition copies of Adam Smith’s “A Wealth of Nations,” published in 1776, that one is rarely available, according to a spokesman for Bauman Rare Books. Only 500 to 750 volumes were initially produced in that edition (scholars, we are told, disagree about the number); today they fetch about $140,000. Similarly copies of the first edition of Dickens’s “A Christmas Carol,” published in 1843 a few days before Christmas, have a long waiting list.
Finally, for the lady of the house, we would advise placing an order for one of Verdura’s fabled white cocholong cuffs. These bracelets, designed by Duke Falco di Verdura in 1936 for Coco Channel, are carved according to the client’s measurements to slip on and off easily. They take at least six months to produce. The stone comes from Russia, and the carving is done in Germany. The cuffs are decorated with jewels chosen by the client, and cost up to $25,000.
Clearly, some firms like to ration their top-of-the-line products, thus polishing the brand. Some just may not be capable of producing a large quantity of precious or complicated objects. Whatever the reason, those luxury goods we can’t get our hands on certainly have luster and … they make the perfect Christmas presents.