There was a time when manicures, massages, and personal training sessions were considered princess-like behavior.

Now women buy their own diamond rings and pampering is a part of any successful woman’s routine.

And so the actress, singer, and novelist Isabel Rose thinks it is time to update that well-worn, derogatory phrase, “J.A.P.”

“I feel more strongly than ever that I want this term to evolve into Jewish American Powerhouse,” Ms. Rose said yesterday at Pecan in TriBeCa, the light-filled cafe where she likes to write.

The powerhouse is “comfortable in her own skin,” Ms. Rose said. “She’s pinpointed what brings her fulfillment and is going after it actively.”

She’s also introspective, knows her position on Israel, and feels good about sex.

Ms. Rose came up with her new definition while writing her first novel, which follows the identity crises of seven Jewish women in their 30s.

“It’s a sociological study about women who grew up using the term J.A.P.,” Ms. Rose said; hence, the title of the book, “The J.A.P. Chronicles.”

Not everyone has liked that title, or the portrayals of Jewish women in the book – one character, Dafna, loses her job when she leaves the office to get her eyebrows waxed.

Tonight, Ms. Rose fires back at detractors when she discusses “Debunking the Myth of the J.A.P” with the arts and culture editor of the Forward, Alana Newhouse.

Ms. Rose said she doesn’t mean to offend anyone. “There’s nothing wrong with taking care of yourself, but it can’t be the only thing you care about,” she said.

“The powerhouse is aware of life beyond the princess kingdom.”

Ms. Rose could have easily been a princess. She comes from a wealthy and philanthropic family that made its fortune in real estate. The Roses have helped fund Jazz at Lincoln Center, the American Museum of Natural History’s planetarium, and many other institutions.

But Ms. Rose, a Yale graduate, is pursuing her own career. “I need to be challenged creatively and intellectually or I get depressed,” she said.

Her accomplishments include a book, an album, a film, and a daughter – 4-year-old Lily, with whom she lives in TriBeCa.

She takes inspiration from her family. “My uncle [Frederick Rose] was an insane visionary. What can I envision?” Ms. Rose said.

Redefining “J.A.P.” is a start.

Tonight, 7 p.m., Makor, Steinhardt Building, 35 W. 67th St., between Columbus Avenue and Central Park West, 212-415-5500, $12 in advance, $15 at the door.