Some of my fondest childhood memories are of cooking with my mother. When she suggested we make chocolate-chip cookies after dinner, I would feel a surge of excitement similar to my delight upon learning that “The Wizard of Oz” would air on TV that night.

For years before I had children, I frequently daydreamed about this particular aspect of parenting. While chopping vegetables or mixing cookie batter, I’d imagine a young son or daughter watching adoringly. In my fantasy, I would be the knowledgeable yet glamorous Food Network star offering culinary tips while my charming child listened attentively.

Today, with two real-life daughters — ages 4 and 1 — I have a love-hate relationship with parent-child cooking sessions. Over the past two years, my elder daughter and I have embarked on quick-breads, pancakes, pizzas, cookies, and even a few loaves of challah bread with no injuries and with mostly edible results. She usually has fun, at first, but loses interest after a few minutes. And the process generally seems better in retrospect, than when I’m tripping over the so-called “helping chair” as I try to prevent my darling child from dumping vast quantities of baking soda into the mixing bowl. I hoped to get some help from Lauren Banks Deen’s recently released “Kitchen Playdates” (Chronicle, $24.95), which promises “easy ideas for entertaining that include the kids” and features ample photos of happy children toiling away in a miraculously clean kitchen.

Ms. Deen is right on target in observing that today’s parents rarely go out sans enfants on Saturday nights anymore and that “with such busy weeks, we want to see our friends and our kids.” And her proposed solution — informal home-based get-togethers with friends, family and stylish food — is appealing. However, despite her insistence that her recipes and ideas are “low stress,” just reading the book was a little stressful.

An executive food producer of lifestyle shows for television, Ms. Deen spent more than five years working for Martha Stewart, and the book’s sleek graphic design, eleganty staged food photos, demanding recipes, and fussy craft projects echo Stewart productions.

While a high-power culinary school graduate like Ms. Deen, who, apparently in her pre-mom life was known to throw elaborate “wacky theme ties,” may be able to whip up these dishes with relative ease, for most of us, the “make-ahead” courses and “one-dish wonders” featured in “Kitchen Playdates” are still fairly intimidating. And the ingredients tend to be either too heavy for my taste (lots of meat, cheese, and butter) or too sophisticated (watercress, radicchio, cilantro) for my daughters’.

Disney-obsessed children may like the name of Ms. Deen’s “Snow White’s Salad,” but I suspect few will touch the frisée, fennel bulbs, endive, and blue cheese in it — at least not without some major bribery.

Indeed, while I liked the concept of “Kitchen Playdates,” — particularly its suggestions of appropriate ways children can help with each recipe and its encouragement of making food-preparation a family activity — I found the book verging at times on self-parody, a sort of Exhibit A in the annals of early 21st-century competitive, overachieving, madness-inducing motherhood.

Take Ms. Deen’s suggestion for a “homey” birthday party: burgers with four side dishes, her own chipotle mayonnaise and pineapple-and-mango salsa, and homemade ice cream cake. Her other birthday party suggestion — “winter fairy-tale birthday/cupcake decorating” — involves four savory dishes ranging from five-15 ingredients each, warm apple cider, cupcakes, and a “fairy-tale birthday cake,” whose 15-paragraph recipe requires assorted special pans and “1 new doll” to be placed inside the cake, which is to be sculpted into the shape of a pouffy dress.

Not to sound insufferably lowbrow, but here is my idea of a manageable birthday party: pizza, store-bought cake, a few drinks, and maybe some pretzels, or veggies and dip. I’m sure Ms. Deen would say my standards are too low and, swear that her children vastly prefer her Parmesan chicken fingers to the convenient goodies that come ready-made in the freezer section. To which I say, why knock yourself out with homemade versions of mass-produced items whose main selling point is that they can be quickly popped into the microwave?

In all fairness, though, my family and I had a good experience with the recipe we tried. I chose coconut pancakes because it looked like one of the easiest recipes in the book, and I was not disappointed. The whole project was completed in less than half an hour, and the pancakes were among the tastiest I’ve consumed. As per Ms. Deen’s suggestion, my 4-year-old helped pour and mix the ingredients. She remained in the kitchen for almost the entire process, although she was miffed that I wouldn’t let her help peel and cut the mangos. I fried up the batter without too much trouble, and my 4-year-old, safely perched a few feet away from the stove, watched for a minute or two. Both girls gobbled up the pancakes — an impressive feat for the 1-year-old who rarely stays in her high chair long enough to eat more than a bite or two of anything — but neither would touch the delicious mango sauce.

“Pancakes should just have maple syrup on them,” my 4-year-old insisted.

Good thing I didn’t offer her Snow White’s Salad.

Coconut Pancakes

11/4 cup self-rising cake flour
1 tablespoon sugar
1 egg
1 – 14 ounce can coconut milk
1/4 cup milk
4 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons dark brown sugar
2 mangoes, chunked
Squeeze of lime
Pinch of salt
Toasted coconut for garnish

1. In a medium bowl, mix flour and sugar.

2. In a measuring cup, mix egg, coconut milk, and milk.

3. Using a fork, gently stir the egg mixture into the flour mixture. Do not overmix or the pancakes will become tough. Let batter sit for 10–15 minutes while preparing the mango topping.

4. In a sauté pan, melt 2 tablespoons of butter with brown sugar until mixture bubbles. Add mango and cook until warmed. Add a squeeze of lime, and a pinch of salt. Set aside.

5. Melt remaining 2 tablespoons of butter, as needed, on a griddle or in a skillet. Pour in enough batter to make 3- to 4-inch pancake. Cook over medium-high heat until small bubbles appear on the surface of the pancake; then flip the pancakes and cook for about 30 seconds more until fully cooked.

6. Keep warm until serving, and top with mango and toasted coconut.

Serves 6

The batter can be stored in the refrigerator overnight. A few grinds of black pepper and curry powder make these a savory side for a curried stew. Recipe may be halved.

Adapted from “Kitchen Playdates.”