Not in the least surprised was I to read recently that not one British pop record managed to make it into the worldwide annual charts of last year’s top 10 bestselling singles or albums — the first such happenstance in 20 years. As recently as 2023, we had a decent seven out of 20.

What happened? Well, Britannia couldn’t expect to rule the air-waves forever, considering the competition from Korea (four of the world’s top ten bestselling albums last year were by South Korean boy bands). And, of course, the USA. The days of the “British Invasion,” which Wikipedia defines as “a cultural phenomenon  of the mid-1960s when rock and pop music acts from the United Kingdom and other aspects of British culture became popular in the United States,” are but a golden memory now. 

As a BBC report points out: “After years of global domination by stars such as Ed Sheeran and Adele, British music artists have failed to make it into the worldwide annual charts…releases by Charli XCX and Dua Lipa did not make the lists, with the highest-ranked British representative being singer and producer Artemas, whose song ‘I Like The Way You Kiss Me’ was the 15th most popular single of 2024. Previously, UK acts have appeared in one, or both, of the top 10 lists every year since at least 2003.”

This weekend the British music industry will indulge in its annual self-back-slapping ceremony, the Brit Awards. Will it drum up the enthusiasm to dance and chew gum at the same time? True, UK music exports grew by 15% in 2023, the latest year for which figures are available; also regrettably verifiable is the fact that the US music data company Chartmetric has shown that this was largely driven by “legacy” acts such as the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, and Queen.

My country was once famous above all for its wartime bravery and its popular music; the Beatles came only after the Blitz in our roll of honour. In the 20th century and the early part of this one, when I’d make new friends from sunnier climes and ask them why they chose to move here — from America especially — they’d invariably say “For the history – and the music!” I bet they don’t say now, “I came here all the way from L.A. to be closer to Ed Sheeran!” 

Why did this happen? It started at a grass roots level, perhaps, with nitty-gritty inner-city venues being priced out by rising rents and prissy post-Covid complainers about noise; the “Youth Explosion” battle of the bands groups at local libraries, with the ticket price going to hire their venue and keep them in funds, was widely opposed by grumpy locals people and closed down, despite finishing at 10 p.m. Many venues, rather than take a chance on unknowns, are turning to “tribute acts” to pull in the punters; put a pretty girl with a decent voice in a long blonde wig and it’s Taylor Swift Night.

Warned Jo Twist, chief executive of British record industry organisation the BPI: “British artists may have enjoyed stronger years on the international stage, which perhaps isn’t surprising given some of our biggest names were not in cycle in 2024…it’s becoming much harder to break talent in a hyper-competitive global music economy. Streaming has created many benefits, enabling more artists to succeed, but has also levelled the playing field for music markets around the world, opening up more challenges to the UK.”

The words of Billboard’s UK editor, Thomas Smith, are even starker: “In terms of where the UK is at, it isn’t great. I wouldn’t say it’s an existential threat just yet, but we’re probably not far off. It’s concerning that it’s going down — it feels like quite rapidly.”

Reasonably patriotic as I am, I think we probably deserve it. British pop — like British entertainment generally — has been colonised by the expensively-educated  spawn of the rich and famous. I know that you have your nepo-baby problems in Hollywood, but maybe your music scene is still more accessible to blue-collar boys.

One of the few young successful working-class Brit musicians, Sam Fender, told the New Musical Express website: “The music industry is 80 percent, 90 percent kids who are privately educated…a kid from where I’m from [North Shields] can’t afford to tour, so there are probably thousands writing songs that are ten times better than mine, but they will not be seen because it’s rigged.”

Mr. Fender added, in a Sunday Times interview: ‘We are very good at talking about privileges — white, male or straight privilege. We rarely talk about class, though…that’s a lot of the reason that all the young lads are seduced by demagogues and psychos like Andrew Tate…they’re being shamed all the time and made to feel like they’re a problem. It’s this narrative being told to white boys from nowhere towns. People preach to some kid in a pit town in Durham who’s got fuck all and tell him he’s privileged? Then Tate tells him he’s worth something? It’s seductive.’

I’d finish by saying what old people always say — pop music simply isn’t as good as it was when I was young. Of course music goes through the doldrums, like anything else, but the crucial element of woke-scolding is what makes this slump different. For the first time, young people are having less sex and consuming less stimulants than their elders, instead spending long periods of time crouched over their keyboards, glumly interfering with themselves.

Woke and Covid between them have created Generation Killjoy. Punk, disco, and glam would all be problematic in some way now — too white, not the “right” kind of black, too light-hearted about gender-bending. In the decade of my teens, the 1970s, I was lucky enough to experience the glory days of — deep breath — glam rock, Philly, Motown, disco and punk. The biggest male and female acts of the 1970s, if you combined sales, cred and sheer star quality, were probably David Bowie and Diana Ross. Now? Adele and Ed Sheeran. I rest my case; the British Invasion deserves to be reversed.