Gunman’s Suicide Letter Shows He Dreamed of Molesting Children

This article is from the archive of The New York Sun before the launch of its new website in 2022. The Sun has neither altered nor updated such articles but will seek to correct any errors, mis-categorizations or other problems introduced during transfer.

The New York Sun

NICKEL MINES, Pa.—The gunman who killed five girls at a school in Pennsylvania before shooting himself said in a suicide note that he was angry with himself and with God after a daughter died at birth.

In suicide notes to his wife and three children on the morning of the murders, Charles Roberts said he had never got over the death of a prematurely born daughter, Elise, in 1997.

A recent series of dreams re-enacting those events appears to have made Roberts moody and depressed, according to colleagues.

Roberts’s wife Marie telephoned her husband soon after he arrived at the school, when she found the notes, parts of which were displayed by police yesterday.

Mr. Miller said he told her that he could no longer cope with guilt he had carried for two decades. “He said, ‘I am not coming home,’ and he states, ‘I molested some minor family members that were 3 and 4-years-old 20 years ago.’ It’s unknown what type of molestation… or if anything occurred, we don’t know. In his suicide note, he mentioned he was having dreams of molesting again.”

In the meticulously planned attack on a one-room wooden school in an Amish community set amid rolling countryside, his victims were aged between 7 and 13.

All were found with their feet bound and were killed with shots to the head, three died on Monday and two more overnight of their injuries. Five more girls are critically injured and receiving treatment in local hospitals.

According to the notes, the immediate trigger for the assault was apparently the sudden reawakening of a second traumatic burden Roberts had carried for even longer.

State Police Commissioner Jeffery Miller said Roberts, 32, was haunted by a 20-year-old belief he had assaulted family members, then aged 3 and 5.

Roberts had bought equipment used in the attack at local shops over several weeks, including planks to barricade doors, flex-tie plastic handcuffs, and sexual lubricant, although police have no evidence that he actually did molest the children.

Mr. Miller said: “The note that he left for his wife talks about the good memories together, the tragedy with Elise. It focuses on his life being changed forever. He alludes to this other reason for this anger, but he can’t discuss it with her, and it happened 20 years ago.”

He said Roberts had carefully planned the attack.

The driver of a milk collection tanker that visited farms in the area, Roberts knew that it would be unguarded. One of his victims, Marian Fisher, lived on a diary farm that Roberts visited regularly.

On the morning of the attack, Roberts dropped his children at the school bus.

He called them back for a hug. He said: “Remember, daddy loves you.”

Despite all his planning and a large stock of equipment for a barricade, Roberts panicked when the police arrived. Not enough time was available to storm the building before he started shooting.

Although colleagues were puzzled by his moodiness in recent months, they told police that he suddenly appeared more relaxed at the end of last week.

The detective heading the investigation, John Laufer, said that coincided with the conclusion of his planning and also with a similar school siege in Wisconsin.

The killer’s mother, Teresa Roberts, lives on a quiet country lane near the town of Strasburg, just 6 miles from Bart.

Yesterday, a steady trickle of neighbors, both Amish and non-Amish, parked on the verge near her home to pay their respects. Eyes red-rimmed, she thanked them for their condolences.

She told a reporter that she said could find no explanation for what had happened. “He was an excellent family man. I had no idea that anything like this was going to happen.”

The gunman’s grandmother, Teresa Neustadter, was also at loss to explain: “I just don’t understand why he did it, why he killed those kids.”


The New York Sun

© 2024 The New York Sun Company, LLC. All rights reserved.

Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. The material on this site is protected by copyright law and may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used.

The New York Sun

Sign in or  Create a free account

By continuing you agree to our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use