The UN Opposes Billionaires’ Joyriding

This article is from the archive of The New York Sun before the launch of its new website in 2022. The Sun has neither altered nor updated such articles but will seek to correct any errors, mis-categorizations or other problems introduced during transfer.

The New York Sun

Messrs. Bezos, Musk, and Branson

Dear Jeff, Elon, and Richard —

Assume you fellows heard the potshot at the three of you this week by the Secretary General of the United Nations, António Guterres. “When people see billionaires joyriding to space while millions go hungry on earth,” he told the General Assembly, they might “lose faith not only in their governments and institutions — but in the values that have animated the work of the United Nations for over 75 years.”

If the future of the UN is so shaky, the Secretary General ought to step up his game. For our part, we just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for using your hard-earned spondulix to explore space for us. And we really don’t mind if you do a little hot-rodding on the side. It’s worth it. And after all, it is your money. The government’s already taxed you to the legal limit. What’s left is yours.

Where does the United Nations come off complaining? You hired the brilliant engineers, scientists, and astronauts, some of whom America may itself have laid off. Aren’t your spending billions of dollars on a Mars-shot dream saving us the equivalent in taxpayer dollars. And, just to top it all off, you’re exploring space not just to deepen our understanding of it but to develop it.

You could end up building colonies and businesses. Whole cities and maybe nations, all in space. Or making us a multi-planetary species. Golly, you just might save the human race. We’re sure — we certainly hope — you’re not listening to the nay-sayers. What leg does Antonio Gutierrez have to stand on this point anyways? He should focus on what he has to show for the $5+ billion the United Nations spends every year to keep its gasbag going.

And for any those wondering, you know where the United Nations can put its carbon footprint. Who has done more to further that cause than Elon here, anyways? If we want to save Earth, there’s a lot more we need to change before we kill space development, which, by the do-gooders’ own logic, might be our only chance to survive if we have to flee Earth altogether. What has the UN done on this head?

Instead of criticizing you, why don’t these diplomatic lugnuts get their stuff together and actually do something so we can stay here on this wonderful planet we call home instead of having to make a new life on Mars, as exhilarating as its lush and fecund farmlands might someday be? So, as an American, specifically as an American, thank you. Only one of you was born American, so our country can be especially proud and grateful.

Proud that you have chosen our dynamic country as the base for these extraordinary ventures. Your efforts make our nation more powerful, wealthier, and more secure. At a time when our enemies are developing the capacity to shoot down the satellites we depend on for everything from communications to that little blue dot on our phone, we are grateful to have you on our team. Your work could help our military while saving money.

And if push comes to shove, and in the worst case war, we’d be better off if you were dominating space than the likes of the Chinese or Russians. Can we get a hallelujah?!? We remember when the phrase “arsenal of democracy” was used to describe Detroit. Should, God forbid, war come again, the arsenal of democracy might be your rocket factories. So keep it up. We need you. Sooner or later, even the UN will realize it, too.

Yours faithfully,

The New York Sun


The New York Sun

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