Christo’s “The Gates” are being dismantled this week, and the good news about this latest exhibit of the Bulgarian conceptual artist is that no one has been seriously hurt – which wasn’t the case in 1991 when his giant “Umbrellas” exhibit caused the death of a spectator in California and the electrocution of a workman in Japan.

At Central Park, aside from some children crashing into the cement poles holding up the saffron drapes while sledding downhill during a snowstorm, there were no reports of injuries that I know of. We can now all breathe a sigh of relief that the city will not be sued over this elaborate marketing stunt by the “artist” and his wife, Jeanne-Claude.

The other positive result of “The Gates” is that restaurants near Central Park enjoyed the best business they’ve ever had. Back in October 2003, I wrote a column, “Rapt in the Ridiculous,” about the proposed exhibit and suggested that it would really benefit the city if “The Gates” were to be erected in a park that needed the publicity. But altruism was the farthest thing from the Christos’ minds, and the sales of souvenirs and the increased value of his other works – I understand that Mayor Bloomberg owns a Christo – made this a win-win for the couple.

I did not venture into my favorite park while it was being desecrated because 1) I don’t like crowds, and 2) I don’t appreciate conceptual art. Like Morley Safer, who has voiced his own doubts about modern art, I tend to be reluctant to ascribe artistry to conceptualists who appear to be more skillful at self-promotion than anything remotely resembling art. But then, what is art? Even more puzzling: Who is an artist?

A few years ago, a young artist named Albert Loewy was brutally attacked by a group of Hispanic thugs in the Bronx. He was in a coma at the time I learned of the talented man’s horrific ordeal. Fortunately, Mr. Loewy has made an almost full recovery, but he has lost his left eye as a result of the assault. That sort of loss can be devastating to any artist, but the young Mr. Loewy is still creating real art. Are the hip Chelsea art galleries hunting him down for a solo show? Probably not. He is, after all, a bona-fide artist.

Seymour Kaftan, Holocaust survivor, created oil paintings depicting the horror of the concentration camps. Sorry, no Manhattan showcase for him, either. He was a bona-fide artist as well.

It’s getting harder and harder for a “real” artist to find recognition in a city that is so impressed by trendiness and schlock art. Sometimes we need a reminder of how beautiful art can be, and how it can even be lots of fun.

The ArtExpo New York opened yesterday to the trade at the Jacob K. Javits Convention Center and will be open to the public tomorrow and Sunday. Admission is a reasonable $15. This year’s theme is “A World of Art Awaits,” and there’s something for everyone.

There will be examples of artwork by celebrity artists such as two rock stars of yesteryear, Ron Wood of the Rolling Stones and Grace Slick of Jefferson Airplane. TV’s “Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman,” Jane Seymour, will be on hand to show off her works at the Cold Canyon Publishing booth. So will another TV actor, Stephen Shortridge, who played Beau, that cute blond heartthrob on TV’s “Welcome Back, Kotter.” He’s quite a talented artist, whose original paintings cost between $2,000 and $10,000.

Anyone interested in memorabilia will be delighted with the display of 30 of Marilyn Monroe’s personal effects, including her pre-engagement ring to Joe DiMaggio and signature pink sunglasses. Dog lovers will enjoy the works by artist Ron Burns, who will be unveiling his portrait of Elizabeth Taylor’s dog, Sugar.

Bring the children to the Animated Pavilion to see Disney characters, the Simpsons, the sexually ambiguous SpongeBob Squarepants, and many more of the kids’ favorite cartoon characters. Actually, the most interesting part of the ArtExpo is the SOLO area, which showcases emerging artists. From what I’ve seen of their work, they compare quite well to giant umbrellas and fabrics in construction site-colors masquerading as art.

One definition of the word in the “American Heritage Dictionary” is:

“The conscious production or arrangement of sounds, colors, forms, movements, or other elements in a manner that affects the sense of beauty, specifically the production of the beautiful in a graphic or plastic medium.”

How positively quaint! To think that modern art has anything to do with beauty. While “The Gates” did bring many thousands to Central Park, the installation also managed to distract from the park’s natural beauty, crafted by the true artistry of Frederick Law Olmsted, Calvert Vaux, and God.