At the age of 101, after Brooke Astor’s forays outside of her Park Avenue apartment had become much less frequent, the philanthropist held a luncheon to honor her only son, Anthony Marshall, and give a toast complimenting his management of her financial affairs.

The speech is short — only 110 words — and opens abruptly, almost cruelly.

“It has not been easy to be my son,” she said. “Tony has had to dance in back of me all of his life.”

She recounted his accomplishments: his ambassadorships, his military service in the Marine Corps. She also doled out the sort of praise that would make an accountant glow with pride.

“He has never asked me for anything,” she said, according to a copy of the speech she prepared for the occasion that was obtained byThe New York Sun. At another point, she said: “I am grateful to him for what he has achieved while managing my affairs. He has done a magnificent job.”

That vote of confidence in her only son came on February 10, 2004, a date of no special significance to the family, a guest at the luncheon said. That date, however, may emerge as relevant in the courtroom, where Mr. Marshall’s son has accused him of neglecting to provide Mrs. Astor with the care befitting the woman who once was the grande dame of New York society. Although Mrs. Astor gave the speech nearly 30 months ago, it offers the type of sentiment that judges take into account when deciding guardianship disputes, a lawyer who is an expert in elder law said.

The legal complaint filed more than two weeks ago alleges that Mr. Marshall cut his mother’s staff, neglected to fill her medications, and allowed her living situation to deteriorate to the point where she sleeps on a couch smelling of urine, according to news reports. Mr. Marshall denies the allegations.

Mr. Marshall’s son, Philip Marshall, did not return a request for comment about Mrs. Astor’s speech. Nor did his attorney, Ira Salzman.

The case is before a state judge, John Stackhouse, and a hearing is scheduled for August 28. Lawyers with experience in guardianship disputes say judges generally give great weight to the present wishes of the aged men and women at their center. In instances where the person is no longer able to express a clear opinion on matter, the court may consider past evidence that shows a preference for a specific guardian. Even past statements — such as the one contained in Mrs. Astor’s speech — can come under examination, as lawyers attempt to show that an elderly person was too feeble to make sound judgments at the time, two lawyers unconnected to the case said.

One attendee of the luncheon was Richard Thieke, who said he helped managed Mrs. Astor’s finances for about 10 years until his retirement in January 2005. Mr. Thieke said he remembered the occasion, held in a private room at the Knickerbocker Club.

“I don’t remember the words, but to me it certainly conveyed the love and affection and gratitude for her son and he being her trusted adviser,” Mr. Thieke said by telephone when asked about Mrs. Astor’s toast. “She made no bones about the fact hat she didn’t like to talk about personal finances and so forth, and Tony had her complete trust in that.”

Mrs. Astor, who was just shy of her 102nd birthday at the time, required assistance when she walked and was seated when she gave the speech, Mr. Thieke recalled.

The words of Mr. Thieke, who worked for Bankers Trust Company and then Deutsche Bank following an acquisition, shed new light on the financial relationship between Mrs. Astor and her son. Mr. Marshall’s guardianship over his mother’s affairs, which Judge Stackhouse temporarily transferred to a friend of Mrs. Astor’s, Annette de la Renta, goes back several decades, Mr. Thieke said.

“When she was alive and kicking and out about town morning, noon, and night, giving the money away, the so-called tending to the store was left to Tony, who had dealings with the financial advisors,” Mr. Thieke said.

“She didn’t want to be involved.”

Mr. Thieke said the investment adviser from whom he inherited Mrs. Astor’s account more than a decade ago also dealt primarily with Mr. Marshall.