BRENTWOOD – The three young men grew up in the same close-knit community, attended the same high school, and then became fighters in the war on terrorism. Their deaths, within a 14-month span, have united their families in grief.

The most recent to die was Lance Corporal Ramon Mateo, 20, a 2002 graduate of Brentwood High School killed in a roadside bombing in Iraq on September 24.

Yesterday – as several hundred family members, friends and fellow Marines gathered for Mateo’s funeral – his mother, Luz Rivera, got support from two mothers still grieving the losses of their own sons.

“We are holding each other up and getting each other through each day,” said Cathy Heighter, whose 21-year-old son, Army Corporal Raheen Heighter, was killed in Iraq in July 2003.

Dawn Esposito, whose 22-year-old son, Army Sergeant Michael Esposito Jr., died in Afghanistan in March, said that “only another mother’s heart knows what she’s going through.”

She said she told Ms. Rivera she was not alone. “I said, I will be there for you, 24-7,’ ” said Ms. Esposito, 46.

But in St. Luke’s Catholic Church yesterday, Ms. Rivera looked numb, sitting in the front pew with her husband, Miguel Rivera, and Concetta Mateo, 19, Ramon’s wife and childhood sweetheart. Her son’s coffin rested at the altar.

Luz Rivera, 45, an aide at a nursing home, said earlier that she was thankful for the support she has received from family, friends, the Marine Corps, and the other mothers.

“Nothing can fill the void,” she said on Sunday night, following her son’s wake. “I am proud of my son as a young man and as a United States Marine who served our country.”

She added, “My son is at peace now.”

Brentwood, about 50 miles from Manhattan, is a hamlet of working-class people: landscapers, car washers, school bus drivers, factory workers.

Monsignor Thomas Molloy, pastor of St. Luke’s and an Army Reserve lieutenant colonel who recently ministered to wounded GIs in Germany, said that 90% of the parish is Hispanic – immigrants from Peru, El Salvador, the Dominican Republic, and Puerto Rico.

“Many of the young people, boys and girls, go into the military for the educational opportunities and to speed up citizenship,” Mr. Molloy said, watching a line on the church steps of about 30 cadets from Brentwood high’s junior ROTC, where Mateo also served.

For Ms. Heighter, yesterday marked her third funeral. After enduring that of her own son last year, the 46-year-old beautician went to support and comfort her friends. She said she felt anger and sadness as she drove to the service.

“This is the face of our country now,” said Ms. Heighter, speaking outside the church while holding a miniature American flag. “This is the face of the minority community.”

Ricardo Johnson, a relative of Mateo’s who also lives in Brentwood, is a school bus driver. His son is serving in the U.S. Navy in Iraq.

“This place is the salt of the earth,” said Mr. Johnson. “Here’s a boy who loved his country and tried to better himself.”

“The whole community feels hurt,” Mr. Johnson said. “He was so close to home. He told me: `I’ll be back.'”

Following the church service, Mateo was buried at Calverton National Cemetery with full military honors. Concetta Mateo was presented with her husband’s purple heart and the American flag that draped his coffin.