Sherri T. lives right around the corner from the funeral parlor where the wake was held for Officer Dillon Stewart. When she wrote to tell me of her visit to the services, I decided she was the perfect person to ask for an opinion on the gun debate sparked by this terrible incident. A member of the black community, she is, I believe, more cognizant than the Reverend Al Sharpton about what is occurring in the city’s embattled neighborhoods.

When Sherri asked a detective if she could pay her respects to Stewart, he told her, “I am sure that the family would appreciate it.” She saw Officer Steven McDonald at the wake. Two female officers were standing guard at the casket and there was a slide show presentation of family pictures of Stewart with his daughters and at his wedding. No matter how many wakes and funerals for police and fire personnel who have died in the line of duty that one attends, the overwhelming sense of sadness is always muted by gratitude and respect.

Sherri explains, “I wanted to show my respect and admiration for what Officer Stewart did, which was put his life on the line to keep us in the community safe. He could have stayed in accounting and remained very safe and comfortable; but he wanted to make a contribution. For that, I am deeply grateful.”

As for the meaty debate about guns, I knew I could count on Sherri for a levelheaded commentary on this volatile issue, and she delivered.

“In the blizzard of press about the gun issue, I think that no fair-minded person would want illegal guns all over the streets of this country,” she said. “In this debate, there is so much focus about that; but nothing about the dysfunctional pathologies that cause the behavior that led to this killing. It is often glossed over, or is reserved for academics to discuss. One officer, on Avenue D and Troy Avenue, discussed that at length. We both agreed that there was plenty of blame to be spread around; what is being taught in households, the absence of two parents, lack of spiritual guidance … the list went on and on. As one woman told me over the summer, ‘People have changed.’ As we reminisced about growing up in New York City, I was immediately reminded of similar stories that my late father and uncle told where people were decent and obeyed the law. Perhaps there needs to be not just more discussion about that, but real and meaningful action. How about personal responsibility?”

What a concept – personal responsibility.

Whenever another senseless gun death occurs, gun control advocates roll out the numbers to bolster their argument that tighter, more restrictive laws are necessary, even though such laws pertain only to law-abiding citizens. Criminals do not obey any laws, so what’s the point?

But numbers are a strange thing. They need to be put in perspective or they become just another tool for demagogues. As an example, a perennial email currently making the rounds compares the statistics of accidental deaths caused by gun owners and accidental deaths caused by doctors. While the email is facetious – it states that the percentage of deaths due to doctors is 17.14% while the statistic for gun owners is only 0.001875%,thus proving that doctors are more dangerous than gun owners – it’s a clear example of how statistics can be manipulated.

Another example of numbers being politicized is that of the war deaths of our soldiers in Iraq. When that figure surpassed 1,000, it was almost gleefully heralded by the anti-war crowd as proof of the escalating futility of our efforts there. Yes, that is an awful figure, but when compared to the deaths of more than 6,000 soldiers in the 35 days it took to secure the tiny isle of Iwo Jima in World War II, one has to marvel at how our military is conducting the war in a country of 25 million that is the size of California.

So, as Sherri suggested, let’s go beyond the numbers and ask that important question: Why?

Vice President Quayle was roundly criticized for condemning the 1992 song “Cop Killer” by rapper Ice-T. That hit includes these charming lines: “I’m about to dust some cops off”; “Die, die, die, pig, die”; “better you than me”; “I know your family’s grieving but tonight we get even.”

Ironically, Ice-T is now playing the role of an undercover cop in the television series “Law and Order – SVU.” He should have been at the funeral begging forgiveness.