If you’re the type of traveler who frequently has luggage misdirected, or if you’re an individual who constantly has difficulty with service personnel, it’s possible the problem is looking back at you in the bathroom mirror. While the adage “You can catch more flies with honey” has been around for ages, in New York City its import seems to have been lost on many visitors and residents.

Unless you work in the service industry or for gratuities, you may not appreciate how rudeness can affect the quality of service you receive. Having worked in the telephone, hotel, and airline industries, I have been privy to the mind-set of many co-workers who’ve been mistreated or patronized by consumers. Those are the callers, travelers, shoppers, and others who believe not only that the customer is always right, but that the customer can get away with treating others like dirt.

After being stiffed for a tip by a very rude guest at a Midtown hotel, a hotel bellman remarked: “No wonder some people get their luggage lost.” Aha, I thought when I heard him say that, it’s the revenge of the customer service agent.

Now, my mother always instilled in us the importance of manners and courtesy, and those lessons were particularly valuable in my early job experience. My co-workers, however, were older, more seasoned, and consequently less patient with insufferable customers who vented venom at them over the telephone lines.

While I never joined in the practice of payback for that mistreatment, I could understand the frustration of employees whose efforts to assist unreasonable customers are rewarded with disdain. I’d watch company agents put the rude callers on hold and then take off for a break, or else say “Please hold” and hang up, saying, “Oops!”

I worked briefly for the Better Business Bureau in Miami and learned the simple rules of effective complaining. Always listen carefully and, before you begin your complaint, write down the name of the person answering your call. Always be as courteous as possible. If, however, this is the second or third call for an unresolved issue, ask to speak to the supervisor or manager. When I worked for the telephone company in New York as a business office representative, we were told that if a customer asked for the manager, the call was to be referred immediately to the supervisor. If you’re dealing with a utility, threaten to report the poor service to the appropriate licensing commission.

In every job I’ve had, I’ve tried to treat the customer with the utmost concern, but thankfully, I no longer have to put up meekly with rude, inconsiderate, and obnoxious individuals. One deliveryman confided in me that the only way he was able to deal with those people was to mess up their orders somehow or mistreat their packages.

My son, who was properly reared and would never stoop to that behavior, works for a major courier firm, and his area covers the affluent West Side. He acknowledges that he is likelier to accommodate courteous, apologetic customers by allowing them extra time to prepare their packages. Customers who are generally rude will be treated only to the five minutes his company deems appropriate to wait. Many Hollywood stars are on his route, but only a few are well-bred. Michael Douglas is one of them.

What many visitors to the city do not realize is that September 11 led to the imposition of many extra security measures in the hotel industry. Once, one could leave packages and bags with the bell desk when attending a function, but now that service is permitted only for guests of the hotel. Last summer, a businessman who yelled at the bell staff for refusing to store his bag left it there in a huff to attend a conference. He came back to find the contents of the bag strewn over the lobby, with Police Department bomb-sniffing dogs at work and the bell staff snickering.

My husband is a generous tipper everywhere he goes, and in exchange he receives excellent service. Those who can afford much more seem to take pleasure in being parsimonious. They might change their mind about dining out if they view that reality TV special “When Chefs Attack.”

You’ll forgive me for laughing when I learned from a friend how his roommate who worked for the Social Security Administration got his revenge on a particularly abominable woman, who, cursing and scolding, blamed him for her missing check. With one flick on his computer keyboard, he killed her.

You have been warned.