Whenever the archdiocese decides to close a parish or a school, there is a groundswell of anguish and protest from the families and students affected by the closure. The closing of St. Paul’s elementary school in Staten Island has generated community efforts to raise enough money to keep it open. A local real estate magnate and philanthropic developer, Richard Nicotra, has pledged scholarship money and will hold a fund-raiser at his Hilton Garden Inn. My question is – where was everybody before?

I’m not asking this facetiously, but having been a participant in the parochial school system for decades, I’ve known that this day was coming since Cardinal O’Connor issued the first warning about the possibility. The school my children were then attending, Immaculate Conception, was on a list of 14 endangered schools. It was an inner-city school, with most of the parents living in the Stapleton Housing projects or in the nearby Parkhill development. The local public school, P.S. 14, at the time had the lowest reading levels in the borough and Immaculate Conception attracted many non-Catholic parents concerned about their children’s education.

I had six children in the school, which had a sliding tuition scale for large families, and the principal Sister Timothy O’Keefe was a benevolent fairy godmother who sought out sponsors to help us with tuition.

In return, I ran a second-hand store in the basement of the rectory to raise money and helped out in the school whenever possible. I knew these efforts were meager contributions, but what I found so disturbing was how uninvolved many parents were.

Thankfully, the school was spared and is thriving today. The current principal, Kathy Curatolo, has attracted grants and scholarships that make Immaculate Conception a perfect gem with state of the art computer and lab equipment. It is now fully accredited, and in 2005 100% of the fourth- and fifth-graders met or mastered English language arts, math, and social studies New York State exams. Still, the tuition is minimal compared with other private schools, and the school is not out of danger.

The parish of St. John the Baptist de la Salle also is scheduled to close. This is the church I attended when I first moved to Staten Island. I occasionally attend the 9 a.m. Sunday Mass there when I am not scheduled to be the lector at Immaculate Conception. There are usually fewer than 30 parishioners in attendance. While there, I am reminded of a friend, Donald Foreman, who always sat in the first pew. He was a Port Authority police officer who entered the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001, and never returned.

I can’t blame the archdiocese for closing this parish or any other, because no matter what the parishioners are complaining about, they have to admit that every effort has been made to keep these parishes and schools open. I feel sympathy in particular for the non-Catholic parents whose children are in those shuttering schools because they pay higher tuition. It is assumed that parishioners actually attend Mass and tithe regularly. Judging from the collection receipts of many of the poorer parishes, this is hardly the case.

The truth is that many Catholics are spoiled. They assume the church will be there for the baptism of their children, the distribution of ashes and palms, and for midnight Mass, and yet they nickel and dime the collection plate the few times they attend. I was just as guilty 30 years ago when my then-Baptist husband attended Mass with me and threw a $10 bill in the basket. I was shocked until he said, “How do you expect the church to stay open?”

Times change. There are now few nuns or brothers managing the schools inexpensively. The parishes depend on donations. Heating bills, union employees, and lawsuits all cost money. I still see many people regularly tossing loose change in the basket. After the service, I observe their i-Pods, expensive sneakers, and luxury cars. Priorities, priorities …

While the state and city argue about the billions that disappear into poorly performing public schools, the Catholic schools struggle with the cost of education while maintaining strict moral principles.

My daughter’s alma mater, St. John Villa Academy high school, recently suspended a student for posting lewd images on MySpace.com. She also has been banned from attending the school prom. Good for the principal.

Meanwhile, Democratic politicians such as Council Member Michael McMahon, who adamantly oppose school choice, flock to the parishes like St. Paul’s for photo ops expressing their concern.

I ask again, where were they before?