Fathering a Father

This article is from the archive of The New York Sun before the launch of its new website in 2022. The Sun has neither altered nor updated such articles but will seek to correct any errors, mis-categorizations or other problems introduced during transfer.

The New York Sun

Not long ago my 14-year-old son asked me what I would think if he decided to become a priest. Since he is too young to make such a monumental decision, I advised him to keep reading and to think about the many possible career options open to him.

But with Easter approaching, his question continued to nag at me. How could I advise him? I am a businessperson. What do I know about becoming a priest? Like most parents, my desire is for grandchildren, but what if he is set on becoming a priest years from now? I need to be ready with a few helpful suggestions.

So I started breaking down the topic, approaching the priestly vocation inquiry like a project management plan, for dioceses and religious orders have many classic business functions. They purchase insurance, evaluate risk, build new facilities, offer services, manage personnel, and run programs. A religious order is incorporated and manages its global “subsidiaries” to ensure smooth local operations while hedging against obsolescence in the face of competition.

There are two paths to becoming a priest: the diocesan path and the religious order path. Because religious orders are like extended families, I focused on this one. If my son is to leave our family and not start his own, then the religious order family concept would provide the closest substitute. Lonely diocesan priest in a parish rectory or membership in a religious order family with opportunities to travel, obtain additional college degrees, and have job variety? That choice was simple: Family is important.

But how to find the right religious order? I was a baptized cradle Catholic, but I came to serious Catholicism later in the game and never had thoughts of the priesthood. The obvious first step would be to compile a list of prospective religious orders and visit each Web site. By visiting Web sites, one could eliminate orders that appear too old in their ways, are not current, shun the Internet, and are not programmatic in their thinking, all of which indicate a lack of creativity and fun.

Much can be determined by analyzing an organization’s Web site: the branding, where the order’s members are located, if the order has a national and international presence, and if the order is personally interesting. Dull organizations project their dullness digitally on the Web. My son should be able to tell which orders provide varied career opportunities, which are growing and vital, and which might catch him in a generation-gap, feeling lonely and bored. If an order thinks so little of itself as to present a broken- down Web site with little detail, then that order should be crossed off the list immediately.

I would say: Look at the pictures. Listen to the podcasts. Watch the online videos. Narrow down the list.

Since my son’s generation started very young on the Internet, he would relate to such a suggestion and would not think that I am meddling.

The next suggestion might be the toughest to sell, but it is the one that worries me most. It would be to ask each religious order in the initial meeting to “show him the money.” I would want him to pore over the third-party audited financial statements of each religious order being considered. Is there money for ongoing operations? Are there any outstanding liabilities like pending lawsuits? How has the retirement fund been performing? What are the anticipated cash inflows based on planned laity outreach activities, especially activities successful in the past.

I want my son to have a secure financial future. If an order will not disclose fully its financial situation with footnotes, it should be scratched off the possibility list. One can love a particular saint and his or her writings, but I could imagine nothing more miserable than being locked into a perpetually cash-strapped religious order that offers its members few prospects for personal growth or job variety. Organizations generally are either growing or shrinking. If a religious order provides no evidence of growth, then one naturally assumes it is shrinking, financially as well as in other ways.

So, if in the conversation the words God or Jesus are invoked, but no firm answers to the financial questions or evidence of financial health are offered, then my son should politely say “thank you for your time” and walk out the door.

Continuing the business approach, my son then would meet the communities to gauge fit and consider his options.

Finally, and perhaps as important as discerning the order’s financial health, he should nail down an “offer letter,” or its equivalent, ensuring that within the bounds of the religious order, he will be allowed to do with his life what he desires. And whenever possible, get it in writing, of course.

Between you and me, I hope that the question blows over and that he gets married, has children, and is a good, but not clerical, Catholic. He ultimately will make the choice.

Mr. Brunson is a writer and marketing consultant based in Irvine, Calif.


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