I have devoted several hours this week to creating a list of New Year’s resolutions. Not surprisingly, many of them revolve around becoming a better parent: more patient, more imaginative, and happier. After all, aren’t children happiest when their parents are happy?

To that end, there are several ways in which my parenting could be improved.

Each morning is such a rush in my house. My children, having gone to bed at least an hour after their scheduled bedtimes, are cranky and difficult to wake, to say the least. Breakfast is always harried and it’s rare for my children to actually eat their cereal and drink their milk before racing off to school. Getting each child dressed is also a struggle. The buttons are complicated on the uniform shirts. There are so many laces – I wish I had opted for Velcro.

But what if starting this week, I made breakfast the night before and had it ready and waiting on the kitchen table? I’m going to get some of that long-life milk and pour it right before I go to bed. I can also make bagels and cream cheese and leave them on an icy window sill.

What if I just do away with pajamas altogether and allow my children to sleep in their school uniforms? Even if they decide not to wear their sneakers to sleep, this will save at least five minutes each morning.

And how can I gain another five minutes of sleep, so that I am even fresher for my children? I can save time by making different lunches. Each morning I make my oldest son a healthy lunch to take to school, with multi-grain bread, fresh fruit, soy chips, and water fortified with fluoride. How about switching to Lunchables? The prepacked children’s lunches made by Oscar Mayer sound just delightful. In one Mega Pack lunch combination, my son would find a deep dish pepperoni pizza with a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup and Lunchables Cola. The next day I could send him along with a Shelf Stable Ultimate Nachos with Shock Tarts. There’s even a Waffle Fun Pack that comes with Tang Orange Uproar and Gummi Savers.

Why shouldn’t I just go for it? My oldest child is a bit on the thin side, and those colas and candies will fatten him right up.

I think these changes in my morning routine will really improve the mood in my household.

When it comes to dinnertime, I have been doing it all wrong. It really is a struggle for my children to sit down, even for 20 minutes, and discuss their day, while enjoying the freshly prepared pasta, chicken, fish, and veggies that I have whipped up while they were at school. I find myself resenting their picky palates. I am too quick to get annoyed when their glasses spill for the first, second, and third time.

Then it occurred to me that I used to let my toddlers eat an occasional ice cream in the bathtub, where sticky messes were much easier to clean up. So I think that until my children are old enough – say 15? – I will feed them dinner in the bathtub. They will enjoy this novelty. Soothed by the warm water and comforted by the presence of all four of them in the bath together, dinnertime harmony will be restored. Fortunately for me, cleaning the bath will take just a few minutes, as opposed to the kitchen, which can take more than a half-hour.

With their uniforms on and their teeth brushed, they will be ready for bed. In 2006, I have finally decided to stop struggling with the greatest bedtime issue: All they want, for God’s sake, is to sleep in my bed. If I told them they could sleep in my bed – even just fall asleep in my bed – they would happily hop in at 8 p.m. on the dot.

Experts go on and on about the self-esteem children gain by sleeping in their own bed. But they don’t mention the poor, sleep-deprived parents who awaken, startled, to find a child staring at them at 3 a.m. They don’t mention the tremendous energy it requires to return this child to his own bed, night after night. And they certainly don’t discuss how just one moment of bleary-eyed weakness, just one indulgent misstep when you motion for the child to get in your bed and just go back to sleep, redoubles your child’s dogged determination to find any way into your bed.

Maybe my children will be scarred forever by sleeping in bed with me and my husband. I couldn’t say for sure. For now, though, in 2006, once and for all I am going to take the path of least resistance. The path of self-preservation. The path of uninterrupted sleep.

Happy New Year.

sarasberman@aol.com