When I think about the saga of Britney Spears, there are only two words that pop into my head: Who cares?

It didn’t matter to me when Ms. Spears shaved it all off downstairs, or when she took the clippers to the hairs upstairs, or when she partied without panties, or when she checked herself into rehab last week — only to check herself out a day later.

Then checked herself back in.

And then back out.

Who cares?

Britney is hardly the first celebrity to crack up, or the last. Stars that are as American as apple pie have done their stints in rehab: Elizabeth Taylor, Melanie Griffith, Robin Williams, Mary Tyler Moore, Michael Douglas, Liza Minnelli, Buzz Alderin, Billy Holiday, to name but a few. And I mean a few.

These celebrities have bandied about among star-studded treatment centers such as Promises in Malibu, Crossroads in Antigua, and Wonderland in West Hollywood. Apparently these uber-luxurious centers — complete with gourmet chefs, shopping, whale watching, and spa treatments — make the Betty Ford Clinic in Palm Springs look like your grandma’s rehab.

I realize that alcoholism, drug abuse, and other kinds of addictions are terrifying diseases, but even after looking into the subject, I’m not entirely sure which addiction Ms. Spears is fighting. Bad publicity? Bad judgment? Shameful parenting?

Does my heart break for these stars? Please. Maybe I can exhibit some erratic behavior, and instead of being held responsible for my actions, be convinced to spend a month horseback riding in Laguna Beach, at the newest, boutique rehab, Beau Monde, where massages twice a week are de rigueur.

What about the children of these stars? As they are left with nannies, drivers, and housekeepers, without one parent — let alone two — to take care of them, do I feel for them? Of course.

Ms. Spears’s manager, Larry Rudolph, has said the children, 17-month-old Sean Preston and 5-month-old Jayden James, are “being well taken care of.” At least they’re too young to know what’s going on, for now. But I must admit that I feel far greater compassion for the real American heroes: Parents holding down a job or two, trying to make ends meet and get food on the table, gas in the car, and medicines when they’re needed. They are saving up to pay for birthday parties, camps, after-school activities, and a rare vacation. They are trying to find the funds for an SAT prep course, a prom dress, and a college tuition.

These parents are the real heroes who deserve the spotlight.

Yet at a staggering rate, new magazines, Web sites, and blogs are dedicated to the mindlessness of Ms. Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan. People magazine used to be a guilty secret, but now it’s considered highbrow compared to the likes of US Weekly. For those of us who aren’t obsessed with celebrities, it’s hard to understand the relationship between the behavior of celebrities and everyday mortals.

Are there going to be thousands of orphans in Africa adopted because of the children adopted by Madonna and Guy Ritchie, and Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt? Is the increase in the number of unmarried women choosing to become single parents on the rise because of actresses such as Jodie Foster, Camryn Manheim, and Calista Flockhart?

All sorts of behavior — both good and bad — can be found in the wacky world of celebrities. But the real question is why so many Americans have caught celebrity-itus. In sub-Saharan Africa alone, there are 12 million children who have been orphaned because of AIDS. Iran continues to expand its enrichment program while the United Nations hems and haws. A young Egyptian man is being imprisoned because he criticized Islam on his blog. Nearly 50 million Americans do not have health insurance. More than 1 million children are involved in the world’s multibillion-dollar sex trade industry.

Pick an issue — any issue — and dig in. Educate yourself and your family, and teach your children that activism isn’t just an idea. This way, you won’t have to explain to your children why Ms. Spears’s behavior is appalling, and why, more importantly, it really doesn’t matter.

sarasberman@aol.com