After a week away on the beach with the children, I could not have been more relieved to drop them at school and have a few hours to myself. I was not alone in feeling liberated. Mothers all around me echoed the same sentiment – then marched themselves to the gym, moaning and groaning about how much weight they had gained on vacation.

This is nothing new. Mothers have always complained about fighting the bulge – a legitimate battle if, like me, you down macaroni and cheese with the kids at 6 p.m., followed by steak, salad, and a bottle of wine with the husband at 8 p.m. But if the parade of 40 year-old, stick-thin, string-bikini-clad New Yorkers I saw on the beach is any indication of how mothers are faring in their battle against the bulge, I’d have to say they seem to have gotten the upper hand.

As troubling as I may find the sight of these exercise-obsessed women, what I find far more disturbing today is that the struggle to eat well and stay thin is no longer confined to adults. During my week at the beach, I heard more mothers complain about the amount of French fries their children were eating than I care to recount. Teenagers ordered salads with dressing on the side more often than not. And I heard children – lots of them – discussing diets. It certainly wasn’t the detailed analysis of Atkins versus the low-fat approach, which was echoed from table to table at dinner and lunch by the adults, ad nauseum, I might add. But it was clear from listening to the preteen set, and kids even younger, that food has taken on a menacing quality.

With obesity on the rise in our country, and as the latest polls suggest, in our own city – the eighth fattest in the nation – it is understandable and even admirable that parents want to instill in their children healthy eating habits. But unfortunately, this is hardly the message being sent to our children.

Instead of teaching children the value of moderation and the importance of appreciating a variety of foods, as well as the bounty that so many of us are blessed to find on our dinner tables, what I hear most out of children and adults alike are lists of foods to avoid. The basic message children are hearing is that food is fattening and fat is bad.

There is a simple way to transmit healthy eating habits to the next generation. Remember family dinners? You know, the ones we all had when we were kids.

According to national studies, more than 80% of parents consider eating dinner with their children very important, but less than 50% actually sit down together on a daily basis. A recent study conducted by Harvard Medical School documenting the eating patterns of 16,000 children reported that while more than 50% of 9-year-olds eat a family dinner daily, only 33% of 14-year-olds do so. Baseball practice and play rehearsal and ballet get in the way. And it wouldn’t surprise me if statistics in New York are even more dismal.

There is real reason to be concerned by the decline in family dining. Researchers at Harvard indicate that families who eat together are twice as likely to have five servings of fruits and vegetables a day as those who do not, and that eating family dinners is associated with consuming less fried food and soda. In addition, children who regularly eat family dinners have diets that are higher in fiber, calcium, iron, folic acid, and vitamins B6, B12, C, and E. Finally, other recent studies show that children who are repeatedly exposed to a variety of foods build a larger list of foods they like, and that eating family meals has a positive influence on children’s level of nutritional knowledge.

And that’s not to mention the positive ways in which a regular family mealtime can influence a child’s vocabulary and ability to communicate with others.

So how do I integrate this bit of information with the fact that my least favorite part of the day is feeding my children, and that if I could permanently remove myself from my dinner table, I would? For me, there is no less gratifying a task than preparing my children a delicious meal and then watching them act horrified as they sit down and discover what is being served for dinner.

Barbecued chicken and rice – “Ewww,” they squeal. “Broccoli again?” moans my 6-year-old. “This lasagna looks gross,” says my 4-year-old as he pokes at the much coveted crispy mozzarella topping. “I want a bowl of cereal.” “This fish is smelly.” “The steak is yucky.” “I just want to eat the French fries.” “What’s for dessert?”

I am not alone in my struggle to feed my children. My friends echo the same sentiment. “I’m not a short-order chef, but I sure feel like one,” one said, serving buttered noodles to one child for the third day in a row and chicken nuggets to another.

Child experts agree that food is one area where power struggles should be avoided. But is it possible to enjoy a healthy, daily family dinner for, say, 30 minutes, without any struggle?

In my house, I must concede, not yet. But persistence has its reward, as does patience. And just because it’s a struggle now doesn’t mean it will always be one.