It has been many years since I had numerous magazine subscriptions. The first to go were the travel magazines. Who wants to read about the best meals to have in Sicily, Reykjavik, or Croatia when you can barely find the energy (or a baby sitter) to grab a bite of pasta with your husband at the Italian joint next door?

A few children into the game, I let my subscriptions to the fashion magazines, the gossip magazines, and even some of the literary and political magazines expire as well. Each morning, I flip through several newspapers and I have realized that it’s more efficient for me to pick up the occasional magazine at the newsstand when a specific story has created a buzz.

I have also recognized that by shuttling my children to the pediatrician, the dentist, the orthodontist, and the orthopedist, I have plenty of time to catch up on reading the glossies.

At one doctor’s office last week, I flipped through a family magazine that I had never seen before. On its sleek, matte cover, it offered new ways to conquer bedtime madness, a fresh list of gifts for kids of all ages, advice from teachers, cool children’s Web sites, and many other nifty teasers.

A varied list of experts had a few lines to respond to the phrase, “What I Wish Parents Knew.” In a few sentences or less, a panel weighed in on just how damaging it was to invoke the five-second eating rule, or let the gang crawl into your bed in the middle of the night, or yell at your children.

The doctor was running late and I had plenty of time to read the decidedly upscale magazine from start to finish. As I closed it, I felt overcome by guilt. Not because I had ignored my children to read the magazine while their quiet bickering had nearly erupted into a civil war. But because I now had several new entries to add to my already lengthy list of deficient parenting practices.

I often adhere to the five-second rule, which, on a scale of one to five (five being the most serious offense) received a two. I occasionally lose my temper and yell at my children, which received a four out of five. Barely a night goes by without some child sneaking into our bed. An expert advised against sugar cereal in the morning for breakfast. One of my children is having a love affair with Captain Crunch. Oops.

Another article detailed sly ways to slip vegetables into your children’s meals. Put frozen chopped spinach into the meatballs. Bake parsnips instead of frying potatoes. Roast small florets of cauliflower for long enough and your children will think they’re eating popcorn. Sure.

My reaction to the magazine reminded me of a recent conversation I had with a pediatrician in his 60s. I wanted to know what differences he saw in the parents today, versus the parents 30 years ago.

“Parents today are anxious and always wondering if they’re doing enough for their children,” he said. “They are busy analyzing their offspring and comparing them to other children and worrying about their parenting styles and comparing themselves to their friends. They’re all looking for labels for their children, and they wonder if their child needs some sort of therapist. When I tell most of them that children develop differently, and in leaps and bounds, and they should relax a wait a few months, they are not satisfied. This is totally different than 30, or even 10 years ago. I think the media and the glut of parenting advice and well-meaning school administrators have scared a lot of parents to death.”

He was specifically troubled by well-meaning parents who jumped on the therapy bandwagon as early as possible, telling him, “There’s no downside.”

“There is a downside,” he said. “There is this tremendous loss of spontaneous play when a child is put in therapy. When I push my grandson in a swing in Carl Schurz Park on the weekend, all I hear are parents singing, ‘A, B, C, D,’ or teaching their kids to count. Parents are obsessed with making every second with their kids educational. It’s bad for the kids, and it’s bad for the parents.”

“This is not how it used to be,” he added, “although now I don’t think there’s way to reverse the trend.”

If anything, the experience of reading the magazine against the backdrop of the pediatrician’s observations, gave me some critical reminders that, at the beginning of the school year, I really need: Back off! Relax! Loosen up! Giving my children the space they need to settle in, find friends, make some mistakes, and try something new is the best gift I can give them right now. It’s not a barrage of nosy, well-meaning questions, not a tutor to help ease the path, and not a hovering mother to help with homework and make sure the children get to bed on time. My children need to know that for now, for a while, some things will fall below my radar screen. And that’s not possible if my radar screen is set at a Guinness Book, New York style intensity.

sarasberman@aol.com