In New York, everyone is always searching for the best. The best school, the best doctor, the best butcher, the best playground, the best tutor, the best sushi, the best camp.

My favorite parents at my son’s school have just moved here from Chicago and I have become their source for all things New York. Having been raised in this city, I exude a certain sense of assurance as I confide my list of kids’ bests: haircuts, party places, rainy day activities, bakeries, child-friendly garlicky Italian restaurants.

Some people choose not to share their hard-earned secrets; I make mine sound as if I’ve received them from a divine source. “The best internist in New York is…””The best place to go skiing nearby is…”

But even as I reel off phone numbers and less expensive alternatives to the absolute bests, I have begun to wonder if any of it actually matters. Does anyone really believe that in a city as large as ours, there is such a thing as a single best? What is the frenzied pursuit of the best really about?

At dinner the other night, I asked a well-known internist, who also specializes in oncology, about the prognosis of a friend of mine. When he questioned the treatment she had received, I told him that she had been to see the guru of this particular kind of cancer, and that it must have been with this doctor’s blessing that she began this course of treatment.

The doctor I was dining with, who in no way competes with the guru, smiled gently and explained to me that while the guru was very smart and competent, it was part chance, part luck, and part talent that he had developed a guru’s reputation. There were, in fact, many other experts in this area, some of whom, in his opinion, had eclipsed the guru’s knowledge of the latest treatments.

It was a reminder of the obvious. There is something comforting about having a strong conviction that you have located the best in a certain field. And that comfort is certainly worth something – particularly when it comes to the field of medicine. But does such certainty really exist? Of course not.

This time of year, parents of young children across the city are consumed by figuring out which is the best school. Most parents are savvy enough to know that the real question is which school is best for their particular child. But never has the subject been analyzed in so many ways, so many times a week, as it is in New York.

Which is the best private girls’ school? Which is the best Jewish day school? Which school is better, Dalton or Riverdale? If my kid were to get into Hunter and Lower Lab, which school is best?

It is the luxury of having been raised here that induces me to tell anxious parents that you can get the worst teacher at the best school, and the best teacher at the worst school. Which is to say that try as you might, there are so many variables to these decisions, some that are in your control and some that are not.

To be sure, there is something to be said for high-quality institutions and restaurants and doctors and hard-earned secrets that come from years of searching and enduring disappointing results. After all, there is an argument to be made that well-endowed schools are able to attract the highest-quality teachers through the school’s reputation, attractive salaries, and other incentive packages. Similarly, an established hospital is able to hire top doctors because of its reputation as well as superior financial packages.

The pursuit of excellence is a worthy one, but the pursuit of the best? This is a different beast altogether. And it is a New York beast. Do people in Seattle and Denver and Columbus discuss the best colorist, the best plastic surgeon, the best nursery school, the best dermatologist, the best address, the best college counselor, the best sample sale? I don’t think so.

This kind of quest is about outfoxing others, and the decision to share the information is partially about letting others know the kind of contacts and access you are privileged enough to have acquired.

But there is also another reason why New Yorkers are always discussing the best. It is a less sinister one, posed by my husband, who is always laughing at my conviction that all the bests are to found in New York.

Only in New York, he pointed out, are there so many fine schools, doctors, synagogues, restaurants, Korean fruit markets, and salons to choose from. In smaller cities and towns, there are maybe two fine schools to choose from. In upper Manhattan alone, there are close to 50.

How are we New Yorkers supposed to choose? Magazines publish lists of The Best, word-of-mouth travels at lightning speed. Even if you haven’t had a single experience at any other coed school, it doesn’t stop you from touting your child’s school as the best. Why not?

So during this season of anxious parents and applications, remember that all of us are invested in thinking that there is only one answer to the question of the best. It is the one that we have chosen ourselves. There is, even in New York, no such thing as the best.