Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, Share My Politics, I Love You

Republicans are more willing to date Democrats than vice versa.

AP/Werner Kreusch, file
German actor Horst Buchholz kisses the hand of Italian actress Gina Lollobrigida, during the International Film Festival (Berlinale) at Berlin in 1958. AP/Werner Kreusch, file

The days of bipartisan matches like James Carville and Mary Matalin, it seems, are gone. Ahead of Valentine’s Day this year, more and more singles in America are sizing up their suitors’ political views before swiping right or agreeing to that first date.

A new study from the American Enterprise Institute shows just how strongly political views influence romance among many Americans.

Nearly twice as many young Americans as older citizens say they know the political views of their significant others before getting involved. Among Americans aged 18-29 in relationships, 28 percent say they were aware of their partners’ political orientation before committing, whereas only 15 percent of Americans over 65 say the same.

It’s not just political awareness that’s on the rise, but also a desire to filter prospective partners based on their politics.

“Most Republicans and Democrats say they would be much less interested in dating those of the opposite political persuasion,” the pollster behind the survey, Daniel Cox, writes. 

Modern dating apps are increasingly sensitive to this reality. Hinge, which markets itself as a dating app for those seeking long-term relationships, allows users to list themselves as liberal, moderate, or conservative on their profiles.

Other apps including OKCupid, Bumble, and Tinder have similar features, and some users may even “filter” matches — to only see potential suitors with certain political sensibilities.

“The rise of online dating has made it easier to learn about someone’s political views before agreeing to go on a date,” Mr. Cox writes. “In fact, some apps allow users to prescreen based on certain criteria, such as politics, while sites were specifically developed to be exclusively for people with certain political views.”

In the AEI survey, more than 40 percent of Americans say they’d prefer not to date someone who self-identifies as a feminist. That includes 55 percent of men who don’t want to date feminists, with 70 percent of conservatives expressing opposition to the idea of dating feminists.

The influence of President Trump is apparent even in the dating pool. Among Democrats, 84 percent expressed a distaste for going out with a supporter of the 45th president. Even about a third of Republicans don’t love the idea of dating a Trump supporter.

A third of Americans are turned off by the idea of dating a Republican, while a quarter would prefer not to date a Democrat. Among partisans, however, the numbers are higher. About 65 percent of Democrats wouldn’t want to date a Republican, compared 62 percent of Republicans who wouldn’t want to date across the aisle.

The survey confirms a years-long trend in polls: Republicans are more willing to date Democrats than vice versa — though by much smaller margins than previously found.

Among women, prospective partners’ views on abortion might be a dealbreaker: It is an especially divisive topic after the Supreme Court’s ruling in Dobbs v. Jackson, when the Nine established that there was no constitutional right to abortion.

More than half of Americans say that it would be at least “somewhat difficult” to date someone who does not share their views on abortion — with 14 percent saying it would be impossible.

According to the poll, liberal women find it most important to agree on abortion: 59 percent of liberal women said it would be impossible or very difficult to date someone whose views on the topic differ — compared to 41 percent of conservative women.

About a third of both liberal and conservative men said they would find it challenging to date someone who disagreed with them on abortion.

Attempts to capitalize on romantic polarization among Americans have not been as successful as the polling numbers might indicate.

The highest-profile attempt at partisan dating, the Right Stuff, was launched in September by a group of former Trump officials. The app, backed by billionaire Peter Thiel, is supposed to cater to conservatives on the premise that other apps “have gone woke.”

“View profiles without pronouns,” its website says, referring to the popular liberal practice of putting one’s gender identity in bios by listing pronouns. 

The app, however, apparently flopped — per a report from the Daily Beast at the end of last year — suggesting that as much as pronouns draw the ire of conservatives, right-learning daters enjoy having the option of making fun of them.

In terms of coupled respondents to the AEI survey, Republicans in relationships reported slightly higher satisfaction rates than their Democratic counterparts. Among coupled Republicans, 83 percent of men and 79 percent of women reported satisfaction in their relationships.

Across the aisle, 76 percent of Democratic men and 70 percent of Democratic women reported similar levels of satisfaction.

The survey also found that despite the proliferation of online dating opportunities, Americans still tend to meet their spouses through traditional in-person encounters. Only 10 percent of Americans said they met their spouses or significant others online.

A quarter of Americans say they met their significant others through mutual friends. About a third met through either work or school, and 23 percent met through other in-person gatherings or community.


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