How To Lose an Unlosable Game

This article is from the archive of The New York Sun before the launch of its new website in 2022. The Sun has neither altered nor updated such articles but will seek to correct any errors, mis-categorizations or other problems introduced during transfer.

The New York Sun

About 30 years ago, they used to tell a joke about how bad the Giants offense was. During one practice, the offense was scrimmaging with the defense. The defense took a break, and the offense continued practicing. They ran three plays and punted. Budda-bump.


If the Giants offense continues to misfire as it did in a hugely improbable 24-21 loss to the Minnesota Vikings, they’re going to change the punch line to: The offense ran three plays, scored a touchdown, and had it called back on a penalty. Yesterday, the Giants gave a clinic on how to dominate a football game and lose.


In the NFL, a winning team is supposed to outgain a losing one; the Giants outgained the Vikings by a staggering 405 yards to 137. The winning team is supposed to get more first downs; the Giants had 25 to Minnesota’s 11. The winning team is supposed to be convert more third downs; the Giants were 6-of-15 to the Vikings’ 2-of-14. The winning team is supposed to outrush its opponent; the Giants had 124 yards rushing to – mull this stat over carefully – 12 for the Vikes.


What are the odds of a team dominating the stats the way the Giants did against Minnesota and still losing?


Ten years ago, using the indicators of victory established by pro football’s leading analyst, Bud Goode, I made a study of teams that outgained their opponents by better than 2-to-1 and outrushed them by more than 100 yards. The odds of losing a game when you do that were nearly about 50-to-1. Unofficially, I’d say the odds of a team dominating as the Giants did yesterday and still losing are about 100-to-1.


What I don’t have any numbers for is how you score four offensive touchdowns, hold the opposing team’s offense to zero touchdowns, and lose. I don’t have numbers for it because, as far as I’ve been able to determine, it’s never happened. Here’s how the Giants did it:



1. One of your touchdown was called back on a penalty, and it may well have been the one on which the game hinged. With about four minutes left, Eli Manning hit Tiki Barber from the 5 for the score, but the Giants were called for “illegal man downfield.” How you can have an illegal man downfield when you’re on your opponent’s five-yard line is something I’ve yet to determine. I couldn’t isolate the culprit, but it was one of the guards who, apparently thinking the play was a run, simply wandered over the line of scrimmage and into the end zone.


2.They became the first team in league history to allow their opponent to score touchdowns on a kick return, a punt return, and an interception.


3.They drew the most yellow. For the seventh time in 10 games, the Giants were more penalized than their opponents.


It isn’t just the penalties, though. Penalties on defense can be a sign of aggressiveness, which in football is good; but penalties on offense are always bad. The Giants, for example, were flagged for four offensive holding calls yesterday, which is ridiculous considering they were the team dominating the line.


Meanwhile, Manning had his worst day of the season, hitting on just 23 of 48 passes for 291 yards and four interceptions. But three of the Giants’ holding calls came on plays on which Manning completed a pass only to have it called back, and two of his interceptions followed holding calls, after which he had to throw into heavy coverage on thirdand-15 and third-and-20 situations. Restore those completions and the yardage they gained, and Manning’s numbers become 26-of-48 for 338 yards.


Some credit must go to the Vikings, particularly their fine free safety Darren Sharper, who intercepted three passes, including one for a touchdown. But the Vikes really weren’t doing anything complex on defense. They were simply double-covering Plaxico Burress and Jeremy Shockey (on whom they were getting away with holding on nearly every play). Until the fourth quarter, Manning did not make particularly good reads on the Minnesota defense, but where was Tom Coughlin and the Giants’ brain trust? They were presumably the ones calling the plays since I didn’t see Eli make a single audible. Why did it take them so long to call for passes to Barber (whose eight catches for 111 yards outgained Shockey’s and Burress’s combined total)?


As for the Giants’ defense, they shut down the Vikings for the first 58:09 before punching their time clock. After the they scored on a 3-yard Barber run and then converted for two points on a gutsy draw to Barber to tie the game, the Giant defenders allowed Minnesota’s 37-year-old quarterback, Brad Johnson, march the Vikings with five dink passes to set up the winning field goal – the only points the Vikings were to score on offense all afternoon. The Giants had already sacked Johnson four times, but on this crucial possession, their pass rush was nonexistent, the coverage soft, and three times the secondary allowed the Viking receivers to get out of bounds and kill the clock.


It sounds cruel to say this about a unit that pitched shutout ball for 58 minutes, but the Giants’ slackness and sloppiness in the last 111 seconds were emblematic of this team’s weaknesses throughout the season. Right now, the Giants are playing in a weak division and don’t seem to understand that they are the best team in it. Yesterday, they were scrimmaging with themselves, and they lost.


***


If forced to mention a bright spot in the Jets’ horrendous 30-3 loss to Carolina yesterday, I’d point out that they held the team tied for the best record in the NFC to 220 yards (just six more than the Jets gained) and that they outrushed the Panthers, 137 to 101.Which means nothing, of course, when your quarterback grosses just 98 yards on 21 throws and has four passes intercepted. (Wasn’t this supposed to be the start of the “Brooks Bollinger era” or something?)


The Jets may not win another game this season, which means Herman Edwards could be gone any day now. But Curtis Martin, who had just about his best game of the season yesterday with 75 yards on 19 carries, remains, and he could be an important part of the rebuilding process next year – but not as a 33-year old workhorse. The Jets are going to lose anyway, so I hope whoever replaces Edwards understands the wisdom of cutting Martin’s work load to preserve some spring in those legs for 2006.



Mr. Barra is the author of “The Last Coach: A Life of Paul ‘Bear’ Bryant.”


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