When I read yesterday that a famous L.A. celebrity was taken away by ambulance to “get help,” I was shocked to learn that it wasn’t Magic Johnson. After all, it was the Magic Man who told reporters on Wednesday that the Knicks would make the playoffs and be a “tough out” as the no. 7 or no. 8 seed.

Though Magic’s prediction seems delusional, perhaps he was overwhelmed by the euphoria of seeing the ‘Bockers go a respectable 5–5 since Stephon Marbury packed it in for the year. And of course, he wants to paint a rosy picture for good friend Isiah Thomas, who is the Knicks’ coach and team president.

There’s one snag, however — his good friend doesn’t know how to run a basketball team, which is why the only way he’ll be a “tough out” is at the annual lottery drawing. The overwhelming evidence for that statement has been documented repeatedly in these pages, so I won’t bother to dig up all the previous botched trades and lunatic signings that have made the Knicks team what it is(n’t) today. Instead, allow me to offer some updated evidence that the man running the team has no idea what he’s doing. There’s a brand new way in which he’s discovered to ruin a team, and it’s called the Isiah Time Bomb trade. Unlike other maneuvers of his that harmed the team almost immediately, the Isiah Time Bomb takes several years to reach fruition.

Remember way back in early 2004, when Isiah took over the Knicks and everyone glossed over the stupidity of the Marbury trade to talk about how he “brought excitement back to the Garden” and other such nonsense?

Well, guess what trade is about to come back to haunt Knicks fans for a second time?

If you thought you could forget this deal once Marbury’s contract expires, you’re wrong. There was a catch. A big, fat catch. The Knicks sent Phoenix two first-round picks in that Marbury trade, one of which was lottery protected. (Well, at least Isiah knows how to lottery protect a draft pick. That’s a relief.)

But it was almost absurdly protected — dead-bolted, you might say. The Knicks didn’t have to fork over the pick unless it was at the very end of the first round, and those terms existed for six drafts, all the way through 2009. I needn’t remind you that the Knicks haven’t finished near the top of the standings in Isiah’s tenure thus far. And unless New York finishes with one of the top seven records in the league over the next two years, which not even Magic thinks they’re capable of, then they won’t hand over the pick.

However, in 2010 — when some other poor soul has taken over for the long-since departed Isiah — the first-round pick has no protection whatsoever. Surprise, it’s the Isiah Time Bomb! Right when the Knicks are likely to be at their rebuilding nadir (wait — that’s not today?), their lottery pick won’t be helping them, but rather the Jazz, who had deftly acquired the pick from Phoenix several years ago.

You have to give Thomas credit for his diabolical genius here. He had to know that it was extremely unlikely the Knicks would owe the pick within the first six years. And, one hopes, he had to know that it was extremely unlikely he’d still be allowed to run a basketball franchise in 2010. Thus, he took a huge risk for the franchise but one that offered no risk whatsoever to him personally. Brilliant.

We still look at the Eddy Curry trade as the worst deal of the Thomas era, but in the wake of this new evidence that stance needs reconsidering. Sure, Curry cost them two lottery picks and $10 million a season to occasionally jog past half-court when the other team gets the ball, but look at the bright side — he makes half as much as Marbury. And let’s not forget Penny Hardaway either, whom Isiah also acquired in that deal and also had a max contract. Already, the Marbury deal has been the trade that keeps on giving. Not only was there the draft pick, and Marbury’s heinous contract, but there were all the equally heinous follow-up moves. Hardaway became Steve Francis, and cost Trevor Ariza. Francis became Zach Randolph, and cost Channing Frye. Randolph became a cancer, and costs $14 million a season. Meanwhile, as part of the same trade Antonio McDyess went to Phoenix, fixed his knee, and became a stud in Detroit.

So behold, Knicks fans, the wonders of the Isiah Time Bomb. Using a weapon he managed to conceal for half a decade, Isiah’s stench will linger long after he’s left Madison Square Garden.

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If something seems too good to be true, it usually is. So as the rumors about the Nets’ potential Jason Kidd trades start filtering out, one thing I keep wondering is “Who’s spinning who?”

In other words, when news of a deal gets leaked out to several New Jersey-based press members involving the Nets getting back several good young ones, two first-round picks, and significant cap relief, one has to wonder about the genesis of such reports.

In particular, one has to wonder if the Nets aren’t trying to drive up the price for Kidd by circulating information about a trade that seems preposterous from the vantage point of the other two teams. To review, the trade discussion reported would have Portland give up four prospects and a no. 1 pick to get Dallas guard Devin Harris, including forward Travis Outlaw, who is arguably better than Harris.

Dallas would give up Harris to Portland and Jerry Stackhouse and DeSagana Diop, among others, to the Nets; the Nets would then buy Stackhouse his deal so he could go sign with San Antonio and beat the Mavs in the playoffs. For their troubles, Dallas would end up with Kidd, who is having a worse year than Harris and makes four times as much. Sounds likely, huh?

I have no doubt that there are three-way trade scenarios between the Mavs, Blazers, and Nets that work, even ones that involve Harris. But realistically, they’d be much more likely to involve deadweight contracts (such as Dallas’s Trenton Hassell or Portland’s Darius Miles) and fewer prospects than anything we’ve seen mentioned thus far.

jhollinger@nysun.com