As the highlight of the New York social calendar, the Costume Institute Ball at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, approaches, I’ve started to mull over what to wear, who to take as my date, and what diet to try; all great distractions from my insane workload at university.

Such preparations might sound a bit silly for a party, but I know that even with detailed planning, there can still be disasters on the night.

When I was 11 years old and my mother [Anna Wintour, editor in chief of Vogue] was getting ready for the same party – which that year had a rock ‘n’ roll theme – she had a Christian Dior haute couture embroidered fur gilet to wear over her dress. Ten minutes before she was due to leave, she put the gilet on, but couldn’t close it. Half an hour later, and after her editor at large, Andre Leon Talley, and her hair stylist and her make-up artist had all tried, I gave it a go – and was, of course, able to do it up after one attempt.

She gave me a huge kiss and ran out of the door (in my opinion, it was very rock ‘n’ roll of her to be late). It was quite amusing to see my mother, usually so calm and composed, have a bit of a meltdown, and it shows just how stressful preparing for a black-tie occasion can be.

These days, I’m getting to know the steps firsthand: finding the perfect shoes, the hairstyle (since I’m young, I find that simple is best: a ponytail or down) and, of course, selecting the jewelry (which, sadly, must go back the next day). These are all minor details, though, compared with choosing the outfit – and making sure it fits.

I always have at least three or four fittings before the event comes, because no matter how beautiful the dress is, if it doesn’t fit exactly, it won’t look good. At the Crillon Debutantes’ Ball in Paris last year, I took this precaution – and was glad not to be among the company of those spilling out of their dresses.

I’m quite nervous about the Met Ball [on Monday], because I’ve been told that the top part of my dress, which is designed by Karl Lagerfeld, will be “molded” to my body. I guess I should add a new step to my pre-event ritual: the gym.

In the interests of being fully prepared, I polled a few of New York’s party experts for advice – and cautionary tales:

ANDRE LEON TALLEY “I tell people always to eat something before they go, in case they don’t like the food; I recommend a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I also suggest doing a mini-rehearsal in your dress. Walk around the room, walk through doors, practice your entrance – it will help you get in the right mind-set. Also, a note to men: Try to make more of an effort.”

ALEXIS BRYAN, fashion and jewelry editor at Vanity Fair “If you intend to dance at a party, don’t wear clipon earrings – especially if they are $100,000 Harry Winston ones. At the Met two years ago, one of the pair I was wearing went flying across the room. I absolutely panicked. I could see it from a distance on the floor. The next few moments seemed to happen in slow motion as I shoved my way through the dance floor and eventually had to crawl to reach for the missing jewel.”

MARINA RUST CONNOR, fashion writer “I once had a boyfriend who broke up with me right after I wore a white dress to the Costume Institute, because he thought it meant I wanted to get married. Sometimes, a dress is just a dress. Once I was married, picking a gown was much easier, since my husband had overcome his fear of long white dresses.”

KATHRYN NEALE, stylist “Women tend to be highly emotional when they are dressing for an important event. We had one lady who just wanted to hide in a large evening coat. Her self-image was greatly distorted, but we soon had her in an elegant Michael Kors dress, size 8.When she saw herself in the mirror, she began to cry. The next day, when she returned the dress, she seemed 3 feet taller and was skipping with joy. Of course we had to give her the dress; that dress had changed her life.”

MIRANDA BROOKS, landscape designer and contributing editor at American Vogue “I wore an over-the-top, stunning creation by Alexander McQueen called the ‘shipwreck dress’ to a gala dinner. When I walked into dinner, the entire dress just split down the side: The shipwreck dress was in fact a complete wreck! Luckily, my hostess, Aerin Lauder [vice president of Estee Lauder], let me help myself to her closet.”

AMANDA BROOKS, designer and fashion consultant “Getting ready for a big night out always includes a great deal of risk. Unless I am nervous about what I am wearing – and not sure if it’s a hit or a disaster – then I know already that my outfit is boring.”

MEREDITH MELLING BURKE, fashion writer “I’ve heard that some women get their picture taken by a friend before a party, to make sure their dress not only looks great, but photographs well, too.”