A Deep Dive Into Modern Masculinity in America

‘American Men’By Jordan Ritter Conn Grand Central Publishing, 336 pagesJordan Ritter Conn’s book of narrative non-fiction, “American Men,” is above all an antidote to division. Told through the lens of four men of varying socio-economic status, Mr. Ritter Conn meditates on the performance of masculinity. This is a book specific to the ecosystem of the United States: the pressures and trauma of the military, crippling student loan debt, and the hypocrisy of certain religious manifestations. Mr. Ritter Conn writes, “Nearly all of us inhabit similar ideas about what it means to embody an ideal form of masculinity,” and he aims to explore the roots of these archetypes. The book opens with Ryan from the Akwesasne Mohawk territory, who slowly becomes comfortable with his identity as a gay man while confronting his desire to inflict physical pain on his childhood bullies. He realizes that his need to defend himself is not the only reason he fights; he likes to throw the first punch and feel the crunch of bone on knuckle. Gideon, the oldest of four siblings, had big dreams of playing Major League Baseball. Throughout his childhood he excelled at everything he attempted, and was accepted to the United States Military Academy at West Point. As years pass, he deals with harsh career realities. Despite appearing to be the epitome of an all-American man, his sense of personal identity is intertwined with the military. When he leaves the army, he turns to alcohol. Joseph, who grew up witnessing his father beat his mom, can’t sleep with his wife. He can’t deal with being touched at all. As he confronts his past of childhood sexual assault at the hands of a trusted friend, he discovers his purpose is to protect others. His story offers up a consideration of how physical affection is often masked as roughhousing.Nate, a Black chronically ill trans man on food stamps who works graveyard shifts stocking shelves, spends much time online. After experiencing domestic abuse from his female partner, Nate gets a restraining order and moves back home with his mother. By making the decision to leave an unsafe relationship, he believes he has abandoned the young son of his ex who referred to Nate as his father. Now that Nate is “passing” as a man, he experiences mistreatment from police officers who profile him as dangerous. So much of his life has been about pursuing gender affirming surgery and medication that he wonders what makes a man beyond stubble and a flat chest? ‘American Men’ by Jordan Ritter Conn. Grand Central PublishingThis question gets to the throughline of this book: what makes men affirmed in their identity, beyond physical appearance, validation from romantic partners, and material items? It illuminates the gaps in male socialization that allow for the shadow of the manosphere to creep in. Briefly, the author touches on the misogyny, violence, and the abuse of power disproportionally propagated by men. He writes of the current administration and the influencers in the manosphere, “They’re just using new technologies to repackage ancient resentments.” These injustices are not new. It seems that now more than ever it is difficult for men who are truly struggling to not be dismissed or belittled. On March 11th, Erika Kirk gave a speech at the Arkansas Governor’s Mansion, where she said “don’t let anyone disenfranchise you because you are a young white male man.” If Kirk’s intentions to empower young men were genuine, they seem to have instead proposed a conflation of manhood with Turning Point USA’s agenda. Mr. Ritter Conn’s telling of both the mundane and most private moments of a man’s life offer a chance to challenge toxic ideals, without moralizing political beliefs. Through writing “American Men,” Mr. Ritter Conn, a staff writer at The Ringer webiste, says he has no angle, he just wants to tell a true story of men in America. The beauty of this subject lies in its universality. The reader doesn’t have to be a broke father of two to understand the immense pressure to provide a safe and happy life for their loved ones. Mr. Ritter Conn credits Lisa Taddeo for her 2019 non-fiction book, “Three Women,” as inspiration for this book. Where “Three Women”lacked in diverse positionality and nuance, “American Men” succeeded. I finished this book feeling proud to be American, relieved to see examples of men choosing vulnerability as a tool to overcome addiction, and break cycles of trauma.

A Deep Dive Into Modern Masculinity in America

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