‘We Worse Than Jail’: Vigilantes Jump Serial Spitter To Mete Out Street Payback

Since its inception in the 1830s, the Sun has chronicled crime in the mean streets of the City that Never Sleeps, and to this day, the police blotter – or its digital equivalent – offers fascinating snapshots into lives gone wrong in the myriad neighborhoods of the five boroughs. Our aim here is to chronicle the more curious criminal incidents across New York City that, with local news coverage in retreat, may not otherwise come under a spotlight. Please remember when perusing this blotter that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter– what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.MANHATTANUpper East Side: Super Finds Blasted Lead in Tony Apartment WallsIt’s the Wild West on the Upper East.A 67-year-old loose cannon dwelling on East 92nd Street off Lexington Avenue was exposed for her supposed secret ammo stash by a building superintendent. The inquisitive worker was inspecting a neighbor’s apartment for water leakage when he stumbled onto two bullet holes fired from one floor up like a dubious gunslinger aiming far south of heaven.Cops were called and they collected two .22 caliber shell casings and also 132 live rounds.Curiously, a gun wasn’t found in the flat.But there was enough probable cause at the time to bring the woman up on unlawful possession of ammunition. Chinatown: Volvo Motorist Draws Faux Pistol on Parking Ticketing Agent Asking, ‘Why?’He was ready to go to war over a summons. A 63-year-old driver lost his wits when a meter maid gifted him an unwelcome ticket on his windshield. It was around 10:15 a.m. on Dec. 6 when the man became a maniac seeing his blue Volvo parked on Elizabeth Street and Broadway being written up by the agent. The man was furious when he confronted the agent, drawing a pistol that was tucked in his waistband. “Why did you give me a ticket,” he asked while aiming the piece. The agent fled. The next day detectives, working off of the man’s license plate (they had ticketed him already, after all) showed up and took the man into custody. They realized after doing so that the weapon that was used to show the agent who was boss was in fact just a BB gun. The suspect was brought up on menacing, weapons possession, and obstructing governmental administration. He also has to pay that parking ticket. Chinatown: Perv Playing Massage Therapist Caught Fondling WomanA pretender masseuse was caught molesting an unsuspecting woman. The “client” had entered a space on Eldridge Street back at around 9:30 p.m. on Nov. 25. The 47-year-old man allegedly started to massage the woman and then he got especially handsy with the woman’s privates. Authorities say the suspect placed his nasty tentacle fingers on the woman’s vagina “two separate times”, according to the criminal complaint. The lusting perp then allegedly moved his fingers around the woman’s breasts using a “circular motion on her nipples”, the papers say. The woman told cops that the sicko twice placed her hand on his “erect penis.” Once cops arrived they instantly determined the man performing these illicit sexually-charged acts was about as qualified to massage as a toddler molding Play-Doh is to construct a skyscraper. They found he lacked (surprise) a New York State license. He was subsequently charged with unauthorized practice of a profession, forcible touching, and sex abuse.BROOKLYNDyker Heights: Kidnapped and Carjacked Man’s Tale of Woe Upended by Staying Mum About 600-LB Marijuana HarvestA green thumb was caught fibbing a yarn about getting carjacked and tuned up by three goons. But scrutinizing cops determined the story was almost pure fugazi. Yes, the 34-year-old victim might have been kidnapped by a trio of bandits. But they were allegedly intent on plundering his bootleg bud. Over 100 pounds of the dicey doobage. The victim had first told authorities he was behind the wheel of a 2014 Toyota Sienna when he was bumrushed by the three ski-masked crooks back at around 12:45 a.m. on Nov. 8 outside Bay Ridge Parkway and 11th Avenue. He yodled to responding officers that he had been dragged out of the driver’s seat at gunpoint and fleeced of his wallet and phone before his attackers tied him up and dumped him in the back and took off in his Toyota. But the pesky 34-year-old man was able to wrest free and escape out his own commandeered minivan. He then allegedly ran to his home and dialed Johnny Law. Cops didn’t have to look far to find his alleged assailants. Just blocks away the crooks — at least two of the three ages 29 and 36 (if indeed there were three — both hailing from Manhattan) were trying to elude capture a few blocks away on Bay Ridge Parkway and 11th Avenue after clipping car and taking out an overpass fencing on Dyker Place and teetered on the edge of the Gowanus Expressway onramp. The ski masks were found along with 153 pounds of vacuum-sealed packages of weed in the wrecked car. Back at his 84th Street home, officers met the distressed 911 caller inside the bedroom. He had a bludgeoned face and his hands were bound behind his back. Skeptical of the abducted man’s wild rendition, the cops returned to the home at around 8 p.m. that night and secured a warrant and with city sheriffs searched the home. In the basement, they discovered acres worth of green — 490 pounds more of pre-packaged herb. The dingbat deviants were formally hit with a bevy of charges including kidnapping, robbery, burglary, grand larceny, and assault. And the victim was hauled away also after being nailed for criminal possession of cannabis.Williamsburg: ‘F— Jail… We’re Worse Than Jail,’ Say Affronted Neighbors to Serial-Spitting Scumbag Dousing Women’s Faces They used a Pringles chips can and the rubber sole of their shoes to tune up the scoundrel who had the stones to show his whiskered mug in the neighborhood after being busted for hocking loogies at innocent women’s faces. At least four times in three days in November, the 46-year-old aimed his spittle at women targets he spotted on the street. His insensate behavior of being unable to keep his fluids to himself began on Nov. 11. At around 10 a.m., the fiend first spit at a woman in her face as she was walking along Broadway near Marcy Avenue. Two hours later he found his second spitting victim just blocks away on Grand Street off Bedford Avenue. Some time ticked by until around 10:45 p.m. when the same suspect allegedly launched another spitting storm at a woman in the same vicinity. And the next morning the same unsavory was hovering around Marcy Avenue and South 4th Street when he allegedly spat at another woman. Other Williamsburg women were spared this man’s oral wrath once cops caught up to the mouthy perp on Nov. 12. They hauled him into custody and leveled several counts of aggravated harassment and disorderly conduct. But it was after he was freed when he endured a kind of comeuppance. Locals inflicted a beatdown on the suspect — kicking and pounding on him with fists and trampling him repeatedly until the point was made and his face was bloodied.“Stop violating these bitches,” one of the enforcers whom we’ll call Hero 1. “Stop violating these females out here. You heard? We tired of that s—.“You making us look bad, n—a.”The suspect allegedly tried to say the message was reached loud and clear.“I heard you,” he said, before being jostled and shouting, “I HEARD YOU.”He continued, “I went to jail. They locked me up for that.” But the man’s short lockup didn’t phase them one bit. “N—a — we worse than jail n—a,” quipped his reeducator.BRONXCrotona: Curmudgeon Caught Knifing Man at His Doorstep Months After Splashing Merciful Woman With Hot Pan OiLHe has a mean streak.A 43-year-old salty man keeps quarreling with neighbors. The bouts are turning into ugly dustups involving cops and hospitals. Just past midnight on Dec. 1, the suspect was engaged in a dispute with a 25-year-old neighbor.The younger one, perhaps a tad idealistic, tried walking to the madman’s apartment to talk it out. But the suspect wasn’t keen on reaching a detente. Rather, he allegedly was in battle mode and when the door flew open, the man allegedly struggled with the peacemaker and then shivved him in the elbow.After suffering the blow, the victim sought help. The initial responding police officers attempted to get the stabber to exit his apartment. He refused.The stalemate compelled the NYPD to summon its elite Emergency Service Unit (ESU) members. A standoff resulted, with the suspect barricaded inside the home.By 2:30 a.m. ESU members extracted the man from his flat. He was brought up on assault and weapons charges.The incident came months after the same man’s temper allegedly got the best of him.On June 9, the same suspect was wielding a sizzling hot pan while at loggerheads with a couple of people. A 62-year-old woman recalled the man’s freakout.“I was walking, and I guess he was arguing with some people, but I just ended up in it,” she told the Sun. “It was oil with water, I guess, because it was still so greasy.”She said the suspect erupted and then “threw it”, she recalled.And despite getting struck by a few scattered scalding bubbles of oils launched from the man’s pan, the woman doesn’t blame him. The woman noted, “It wasn’t like he intentionally threw it on me. And I wasn’t the one out there trying to irritate him or whatever was going on.” Still, her not being the target didn’t assuage the pain. “Yeah, but it burnt real quick, but it didn’t burn long,” she said.The poor bystander went to the hospital to be treated for the burn injuries and said personnel “rinsed me down” and then needed to “shave my hair”. The suspect was met with formal charges for assault and weapons possession.And even still, the attacked woman said though the pan grease tosser was “going down for his own crimes” she feels that he is “also one of God’s children” and doesn’t harbor any ill will.“I forgive him,” she said.Hunts Point / Longwood: ‘What Are You Going To Do About It?’ Road Warrior Terrorizing Motorists with Flashing PistolMeet the outlaw who hung an illegal U-turn and is now facing music for flashing firearms.The 31-year-old was behind the wheel of a 2021 Audi Q5 riding along Bruckner Boulevard and Bryant Avenue back at around 10 p.m. on Nov. 20 when he flipped the U-Turn to the displeasure of a state trooper rule stickler.And when the smokey performed a traffic stop, they realized he was a wanted man. The suspect was being pursued for two separate scenarios where he had menaced drivers by showing off his iron.A week prior, in the morning underneath the elevated train, the suspect locked horns with a woman who was ticked-off for parking his Audi too close to her car.The tough showed the mother waiting to pick up her child who was the real boss.He allegedly pulled out a piece and exclaimed, “What are you going to do about it?”On Nov. 11, at the same location the suspect tussled with a 62-year-old man who allegedly passed him on the street. Again, the suspect drew the gun and asked, “What did you say?” He then allegedly pointed it at the innocent before rhetorically prompting, “What’s up? Watch yourself.”When he was finally brought into custody after the driving infraction, the trooper searched the Audi and found in the glove box a loaded black Taurus 9mm G-3 pistol with 16 rounds in the magazine. He was hit with weapons possession and menacing charges. The perp has three priors.Fordham Manor: Smut-Consuming Subway Passenger’s Intimate Me-Time Cut Short, Blasts Cops: ‘I’m Trying To Bust A Nut’ He was expecting the XXX line. A 37-year-old apparently couldn’t tame his lusting loins while passing the time during the early evening on Dec. 5. The horndog had allegedly plugged a tablet into a power source at southbound platform of the D train station on Kingsbridge Road. Authorities say the suspect was getting his rocks off while glued to the device watching a flesh flick. Cops interrupted the stag sex fiend’s good time by attempting to handcuff him. The engaged pleasure seeker allegedly resisted and put up a fight, throwing a left karate kick at one of the officer’s chest, according to the criminal complaint. The suspect then blamed them and his future arraignment judge for cutting short his, er, release party.“I’m trying to bust a nut,” he groused. “My orgasm for the night judge.”The cross creep didn’t stop there. “He taking my f–ing nut. Don’t touch me. Don’t f–ing touch me. You know better.”Cops searched his person and found a wallet attached to his left wrist. In it, they discovered a glassine sleeve filled with crystal meth. The unsatisfied, crank-loving buster continued raving. “For busting an orgasm? I don’t give a f–. I’m a watch that s— anywhere.” He was taken to the not-so-sexy clink and formally charged with criminal possession of a controlled substance, public display of offensive material, petit larceny, and criminal possession of stolen property. The same pent-up perp had already been in the law’s crosshairs. He was booked in Manhattan on Dec. 19 for a crime that occurred on Nov. 8. The same suspect had been caught robbing a tenant at their Upper West Side apartment at around 1 p.m. on Nov. 8. The crook wasn’t in hanky-panky mode this time. But he was allegedly determined to swipe valuables such as a wallet and laptop inside the home on West 99th Street and Broadway.But the tenant confronted him and shooed him away. Wanted posters that were plastered in the nabe helped cops spot the suspect on Dec. 19. After the bust, he was given the business for burglary, grand larceny, and resisting arrest.STATEN ISLAND New Brighton: ‘I’m Going To Kill You And Your Son, Bitch,’ Says Mad Woman Who Bit and Spit on GrannyAn emotionally disturbed woman went primeval on a septuagenarian.The 41-year-old crazed woman allegedly confronted the 73-year-old lady inside a residential building located on Jersey Street near Crescent Avenue back in the early afternoon of Nov. 30.She first shrieked mortal threats: “I’m gonna kill you and your son, bitch.”The younger predator then allegedly went to work on the innocent with her chompers.Authorities say she bit the woman on the right side of the elderly woman’s chest. And she then scratched her, breaking the skin.And then she spit in the woman’s face.Cops were called and they took the assailant away and charged her with aggravated assault and harassment.Dongan Hills: Knob Shiner Put on Doorbell Cam Creepshows for Over A Year to Win Woman’s HeartHis wooing advances were not reciprocated.A 68-year-old desperately seeking sicko was busted after a rotten year of turning up at a woman’s Mallory Avenue home and attempting to win her over with his missives and masturbation performance. The prick allegedly first turned up at the woman’s home doorstep (fitted with a Ring camera) in the early evening back on Oct. 15, 2024.He allegedly took a piece of mail and then walked away, according to the criminal complaint. On Oct. 21, 2024, he returned at around 12:15 p.m. and knocked on the door. The same suspect reappeared on Christmas Eve to gift the woman a note he penned. It read: “As the world rejoices in the wonder of his birth, may you be blessed with beautiful Christmas and with every happiness in the new year.”Then, just a few months ago, the suspect returned around dinnertime on March 30 of this year. He allegedly brought flowers and included a note sayings, “From: [his name]. Cuba.”Some more time elapsed and the suspect came back on July 2, 2025 and attempted to ring the doorbell. No answer.The dejected bleeding heart then tried again on Oct. 21, 2025. This time he was recorded “turning the door handle,” the papers say. He left a note with his name and address and included “American Cuban” and also the request, “Please call me.”Halloween likely brought the common tricksters and treaters to the woman’s home. But the same lascivious nut also made an appearance as none other than himself: a disturbed lech. And he allegedly didn’t offer notes or flowers. Just him dropping his pants and drawers to show his appendage and proceeded to manipulate it until he ejaculated and allegedly “rubbed his hands on [woman’s] doorknob.”That final performance led to his arrest (it wasn’t hard to find him since he offered his info during the previous attempts to unnerve the woman. On Nov. 2, the suspect was brought up on stalking (threat of injury/causing fear), lewdness, harassment, petit larceny, and criminal possession of stolen property for stealing the woman’s mail.Port Richmond: Punk Who Stole $30 From Wheelchair-Bound Woman Confessed, ‘I Need Money’ HE DID WHAT for a measly $30?A pathetic soul allegedly targeted a wheelchair-bound woman for a pittance takeaway, claiming poverty. The 43-year-old craven crook slithered through the victim’s rear kitchen window of the home on Avenue B near Bennett Street back at around 8:15 p.m. on Oct. 24, the criminal complaint states.He allegedly found the wheelchair-bound woman and she tried to “wheel herself away from the kitchen towards the front door”, the papers say.Seeing this, the suspect allegedly grabbed hold of the handles of her chair “preventing [her] from leaving the kitchen.” It’s here where the mouth breather told his mark, “I need money.”He allegedly picked the woman’s pocket and grabbed hold of $30.The law was quick to intercept him. He was subsequently dinged with robbery, burglary (of a dwelling), grand larceny, unlawful imprisonment, and criminal possession of stolen property charges.

‘We Worse Than Jail’: Vigilantes Jump Serial Spitter To Mete Out Street Payback

More from the New York Sun

The War Over War Powers

Antisemitism Is the Root of Mamdani Socialism, and It’s Destroying New York City

Why Rod Stewart Mattered So Much to a Teen Boy in Care

More from the New York Sun

The War Over War Powers

Antisemitism Is the Root of Mamdani Socialism, and It’s Destroying New York City

Why Rod Stewart Mattered So Much to a Teen Boy in Care

France’s Greens Propose Paid Days Off Instead of Air Conditioning To Respond to Heat Waves

Musk Loses Trillionaire Title as SpaceX Shares Tumble

Chevalier Wins, Democrats Panic, and Letitia James Fears Mamdani Has Given Party Its MAGA Moment

James Comey Builds All-Star Legal Team To Thwart Renewed Effort by Trump DOJ To Convict Him

Rubio Tries To Ease Gulf Allies’ Fears of Capitulation to Tehran