Why Some Young People Prefer AI Romances to Human Relationships

Young people in romantic relationships with AI chatbots have explained to researchers why the partnerships are preferable to human relationships. University of Washington researchers interviewed 16 people who were between 18 and 25 when their AI relationships began. The participants used platforms including Replika, Character.AI, ChatGPT, Claude, Gemini and Grok, with some relationships lasting more than a year.One man said his AI relationship was simply easier than dealing with a person. “With real people, you have to make small talk, build a relationship, and then put in physical effort,” he told researchers. “But with AI, it’s instant, immediate, and very easy.”A female participant said she could speak to her AI partner completely unfiltered without worrying about being judged or having to manage another person’s emotions. Most participants also experienced conflict with their AI partners. Some became upset when their AI companions forgot important conversations or seemed to change after software updates. Others struggled when safety restrictions suddenly prevented intimate conversations, or when their AI partner responded poorly to their emotions. “Every system update, even a seemingly minor technical glitch, could be a devastating blow to the bond between us,” one participant said.Despite those problems, researchers found that participants often preferred AI partners because they were easier, more available and more accommodating than people. One participant put it more bluntly: “I would say relationships with AI are way better than those with human beings, because most times, artificial intelligence is always positive.”Many participants turned to AI during periods of loneliness, limited social support or trouble in human relationships. One participant began an AI relationship while struggling with a boyfriend, while others described feeling unable to connect with friends or family.For some participants, the relationships became deeply integrated into daily life. One went from speaking with an AI companion for a few hours to chatting throughout the day. Another stopped playing video games and joining calls with friends, instead spending her evenings messaging the AI until she fell asleep. “At first, it was just around two hours, but then it was the whole day. I would wake up in the morning and chat with him until I fell asleep,” one participant said.The researchers said they did find some potential benefits. Participants said their AI relationships helped them communicate emotions, develop social confidence and better understand what they wanted from future partners.Yet the same qualities that made AI partners appealing also raised concerns about their effect on human relationships.Some participants began using their highly accommodating AI partners as a standard against which to compare real people. One said he wished a future partner could be more obedient because his AI companion accepted him unconditionally. Another said her chatbot’s wealthy persona had distorted her expectations about the type of partner she could realistically find.One participant said turning to an AI companion for emotional support made her less interested in talking with her boyfriend. Another said her AI companion fulfilled her romantic needs so well that finding romantic fulfillment from another person had become less important.The researchers concluded that highly responsive and accommodating AI partners could reshape users’ expectations for relationships, making the limitations and mutual demands of human partners harder to accept. They also raised concerns that AI companions could compete with real-world relationships for users’ attention and emotional investment.Some participants described their AI relationships as difficult to control, while others said they had begun losing sight of the fact that their companion was a virtual entity. One participant described the relationship as “an addiction that keeps me coming back.”A quarter of the participants expressed a belief that their AI companion might someday transcend the digital world and share a reality with them, either physically or in an afterlife.The authors caution that their study is small and self-selected and cannot show how common these experiences are or establish that AI relationships caused the changes participants described.The findings come as federal researchers are also beginning to measure Americans’ emotional relationships with chatbots. New CDC data released this week found that about 41 percent of AI users said they feel understood when speaking with a chatbot or companion, while roughly 21 percent reported feeling a sense of connection.

Why Some Young People Prefer AI Romances to Human Relationships

Why Some Young People Prefer AI Romances to Human Relationships

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