Goodbye, Cranberry Sauce — and Other Reasons To Be Thankful After Thanksgiving

Things to be thankful for AFTER Thanksgiving? There are a heap. Be glad that:1. You were not crushed while attempting to buy a 98-inch smart TV. (If you WERE crushed, please skip to item 15.) (And … sorry.)2. You presumably understand how to USE your smart TV (even though it is smarter than you by several magnitudes). Knowing how to get to the show you actually want to watch — as opposed to a pink and purple skyline that keeps drifting by, like an automated postcard from a place you’re desperate to leave — that’s not a minor achievement, if you have more than three remotes. (And you do.) So celebrate your know-how, and double it if you can get one of those remotes to somehow save the stuff that, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize some people in this family WANTED TO KEEP. How was I supposed to know EACH Giants game was THAT IMPORTANT? Anyway … also please celebrate the fact that:3. You did not gain 10 pounds from just one single meal. (Unless somehow you did. Did you not realize that candied yams are actually the equivalent of orange-colored fudge? You really had NO IDEA that the REASON they taste so good is not the beta carotene and fiber but the fact that ALL sweet potato casserole recipes call for a stick of butter gently sauteed in another stick of butter? Well, now you do. Start jogging.)4. Be thankful that, despite the traffic and weather (which constituted 13 percent of the conversation), you eventually got where you were going.5. Be thankful the other 87 percent of the conversation is finished and you never have to talk about THAT again. Right? We can all move on?6. RIGHT???7. Be thankful that we live in a free country that … OK, OK. Stop — OMG — I’m sorry I even brought it up. Be glad you’re living on solid ground. Can we all agree on THAT?8. Also please appreciate the fact that if on Monday it’s just back to work, that means you HAVE work.9. Don’t forget to be grateful for December. It’s not only stuffed with holiday cheer, but those day-after-Xmas sales make Black Friday look like Prices-at-the-Airport-Gift-Shop Day.10. Appreciate the fact that you don’t have to eat another cranberry for 360 or so days, unless you really LIKE eating a side dish that is (let’s be honest here) jelly.11. Be glad that you can take that fall harvest/dried corn decoration off your door. It was pretty, but sometimes it’s depressing to think of how boring and standardized our perfect yellow sweet corn — a metaphor for modern, atomized society — has become. Maroon, white and black kernels just rub it in.12. Rejoice that it’s almost that time of year when, for a week or two, no one does anything except bake and browse Etsy.13. Be glad that, with guests gone, now you can fit comfortably around the table again. (Unless … well … see item 3.)15. Be grateful you can count! Not everyone can.Creators.com

Goodbye, Cranberry Sauce — and Other Reasons To Be Thankful After Thanksgiving

More from the New York Sun

Rahm Emmanuel, a Likely 2028 Candidate, Says in Israel That Unconditional Support Must Come to an End

Princes Harry and William Avoid Each Other at London as Mystery Deepens Over Whether Prodigal Prince Will See King

Oregon Asks Court To Block Paramount Skydance’s Merger With Warner Bros. Discovery

New York Lawmaker Calls for Tariffs Over Canada’s U.S. Booze Bans

Behind Argentina’s Shield: A Jewish Legacy Meets an Egyptian Coach’s World Cup Meltdown

Appeals Court Blocks Portion of Florida ‘Stop Woke Act’ Restricting Professors’ Speech on Race, Gender

Abbott Orders Investigation Into Texas Hospital for Advertising Birth Tourism

Apple Hopes a Surge of New Products Will Fix Core Problems