Okay, Britney, it’s your turn.

Yesterday, in the wee hours of the morn, Lindsay Lohan was arrested on suspicion of drunk driving, possessing cocaine, and, by the way, chasing a Cadillac that belonged to the mother of one of her assistants, who reportedly had just quit. Mom was calling 911 about being chased and apparently had no idea it was Lindsay’s SUV on her tail, and — let’s just say this was the kind of day that makes most of us glad we’re not international superstars with addiction issues and another drunk-driving case pending.

The whole thing was tragic and predictable and a spectacular development for any producer worried about what to lead the nightly newswith, now that nothing seems to be erupting in Midtown. But all it really seems to add up to is this: It’s Britney’s turn now.

See, Paris Hilton did her jail time, and before that Britney Spears shaved her head, so it was clearly Ms. Lohan’s turn to do something so shocking and horrible that the other two could have a little breather from the paparazzi. It’s almost as if the three of them made a pact last year:

“So you’ll go crazy in the winter, Brit. Then, Paris, you talk to Larry King in June —”

“But I have nothing to say.”

“No kidding. Anyway, I’ll take July.”

“Why do you get July? I’d rather shave my head when it’s hot out!”

“Britney, I need July because that means I can do my re-rehab in August and be out in time for my next movie, and that’s when you can — hmm. Better be something pretty big. How about French-kissing Madonna?”

“Didn’t even like it the first time.”

“Have the police find a couple of guns in your car?”

“Lindsay, I sing pop.”

“Well then, just dis Clive Davis, or swear off underwear again. Look, I really don’t care what you do, just make it newsy, and then Paris will take over in the winter. She can lose a sex tape or something, okay?”

And then there’d be a chorus of grumbling “okay”s. Or at least, that’s how I assume they talk.

Probably, though, the truth is something a little more mundane. Remember, when Ms. Lohan’s boyfriend, British bad boy Calum Best, broke up with her a few weeks ago, he told the press it was because she was “too boring” when she was sober. (“That leaves him more time for Stephen Hawking,” one blogger quipped.)

Boredom, ironically, does seem to be the root of the problem for these gals. Every day it’s the same: Go out, get drunk, drive until you hit something, then get up and do it again. It’s like being a crash-test dummy. (Although Ms. Spears seems to be toeing the line of late, and recently she has been photographed taking care of her babies.) I’d like to hope that sometime soon, these three young women can break the cycle … and not their skulls. But it must be harder than it looks. After all, the rehab clinic Ms. Lohan left so optimistically less than two weeks ago was called Promises. Not, alas, Guarantees.