If your best friend has asked you to serve as executor of his will, you might want to do some research before agreeing to do so. As with so many other kinds of fiduciary obligations these days, taking on responsibility for overseeing someone’s estate has become a more serious undertaking than in years past.

Most of us, of course, don’t like to deal with life’s two big inevitabilities — death and taxes. Ideally, though, we should regularly rewrite our wills, catalog every investment, make clear who is to inherit what, and set up every trust and arrangement available to avoid excessive taxation. If you fall into the ideal category, congratulations. Unfortunately, most of us bumble along, occasionally revisiting this unpleasant topic, but mostly hoping our procrastination will not prove, well, fatal.

This can create enormous problems for the poor sap who agrees to be the executor of our estate. Many people take on this role out of friendship, not having a clue as to what is involved. The head of Wilmington Trust’s New York office, Tony Guernsey, offers up a one-page summary of the duties of executor, so densely packed that a magnifying glass comes in handy. The list of chores is so intimidating that any normal person would head for the exit, or at least (and this may be the point) agree to hire Wilmington Trust or another such firm to function as co-executor or as trustee.

“Many times people want a corporate trustee that can be sued later on,” Mr. Guernsey says, highlighting the sobering responsibilities inherent in overseeing an estate. “If the executor sells stock at a bad price, or fails to sell at the high, the heirs can come after him.”

The first requirement of an executor is to locate the last will, file it with the appropriate court, and carry out the deceased’s burial instructions. Right there you could run into a minefield. The last will may be a handwritten document given to a loved one in the hospital, which could create controversy, and your buddy may request his ashes spread over some completely inappropriate but sentimental location, such as John Lennon’s doorstep.

The next step is to protect the assets. This is no joke either. The heirs may well filter in and out of the home, leaving strangely outlined bare spots on the walls, or suspiciously empty compartments in the maternal jewelry box. These days, the IRS is following up on such “tax-free pilfering” and could well hold the executors accountable for assets that are missing.

Distribution of the assets is another important task, and often the most uncomfortable. The divvying up of tangibles that are not easily divisible, such as antiques and paintings, often causes the most rancor, according to a partner at Satterlee Stephens Burke & Burke in New York, Robert Goldie. “The negotiating between children and other relatives can be pretty emotional,” he says.

Another partner with the firm, William Jackson, says he has seen this firsthand. He has served as executor of several estates, and describes the experience this way: “It was a nightmare, and I’ve got a whole legal firm behind me. Good, ordinary people become petty, and the whole process can dissolve into chaos. Death brings out deeprooted emotions which have been suppressed for decades; people end up behaving totally out of character.”

Mr. Jackson’s advice is to be totally transparent, keep excellent records, and be scrupulously honest. “You can’t make any glib decisions,” he says. “Just because someone gave one heir an expensive item several years ago, it has no bearing. Death cleans the slate.”

The executor is also responsible for getting to know the deceased’s business interests, in order to “arrange for their protection.” That is, you may end up having to make tough decisions about liquidating inventory, hiring interim management, or taking out loans to pay off taxes, and these decisions should not be made in a vacuum.

Another big part of the job is unraveling the disorganized loose ends left behind.

“One of the first things you have to do is to marshal the assets,” Thomas Mitchell of Wilmington Trust says. “It’s a big deal to run down all the partnerships, art collections, coins, stamps, and all the other accounts. Some people still keep things in safety deposit boxes. It can take a long time to collect and value all those assets.”

Ideally, Mr. Mitchell says, the deceased has recently updated his will. A person should revisit this document every couple of years, especially if there’s been a change in the tax laws. Also, as a person ages, his personal situation changes, as does his estate. “A young person will set up a guardian for his kids, but over time that might have to change,” he says. “People die or get divorced, and may not be able to serve in that capacity.

“A lot of people don’t want to take the time to update their wills. If you don’t do it right, you can have big tax problems. The executor tries to do the best he can.”

The executor can end up spending hundreds of hours during several years cleaning up all the details of even a modest estate. According to Mr. Mitchell, the average estate takes three years to settle. One very complicated estate that he worked on when at a different firm took more than a decade. The fellow was an entrepreneur, some assets were overseas, and his wife, the executor, died. All these complications prolonged the process and ended up costing the estate millions in fees.

Executors do receive compensation for their time. Statutory law in New York has made sure that the unwary volunteer does not lose his job and livelihood while trying to undo the mess left behind by his best friend. And, executors can certainly hire lawyers and accountants to help out. Also, just because you are named executor in the will, you are not legally required to serve. Many wills provide for an alternate; if not, the court will appoint one.

Still, the personal liability attached to the job is considerable. For instance, the executor has to file tax returns on behalf of the estate — returns that he has personally signed, and for which he is personally responsible. That alone requires a whole lot of friendship.

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