Since its inception in the 1830s, the Sun has chronicled crime in the mean streets of the City that Never Sleeps, and to this day, the police blotter – or its digital equivalent – offers fascinating snapshots into lives gone wrong in the myriad neighborhoods of the five boroughs. Our aim here is to chronicle the more curious criminal incidents across New York City that, with local news coverage in retreat, may not otherwise come under a spotlight. 

Please remember when perusing this blotter that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter– what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.

MANHATTAN

Hell’s Kitchen: ‘Sorry Boss’: Cop Catches Stroking Crack Fiend Fleecing $150 Worth of Target Sex Toys

A kinky crook was caught red-faced and red-handed. 

At around 5:30 p.m. on October 30, a 62-year-old horndog was putting on a solo freak off show inside a Target store located on 54th Street and 10th Avenue. The suspect was allegedly caught masturbating within eyeshot of a female police employee.

And after she informed her police colleagues, they were waiting for him at the front of the big box biz. 

There, they say the lovesick suspect tried to quietly tiptoe out. But officers were waiting for him. When they took the man into custody they searched him. In his jacket, the arresting officers found two glass crack pipes with burnt rock residue caked on. They also discovered six (count’em!) plusOne vibrators. 

“Sorry boss, I forgot they were in there,” he allegedly confessed. 

Target sells a variety of plusOnes — including a model that is priced at $24.99. 

The filched adult merch was returned, while the pervy perp was then hauled away and dinged with exposure of a person and lewdness, (expose body in public) for pleasuring himself in the store aisles, along with petit larceny, criminal possession of stolen property for the dildos. He also faces criminal possession of a controlled substance for the crack-caked glass pipes.

The suspect pleaded not guilty at his Halloween arraignment and is scheduled to reappear before a judge at the end of January, court records show. 

Inwood: Tourist Mercedes Motorist Mows Down NYPD Tow Truck Driver To Skirt Parking Tix 

A poor parker is likely going to pay out his nose for his alleged misdeeds.

The 25-year-old road warrior from Delaware was clearly reeling by the sight before his eyes: his Mercedes-Benz sedan was illegally parked and about to get towed away. 

It was a few minutes before 3 a.m. on November 8 when the out-of-towner rushed to his ride parked on Dykman Street near Nagle Avenue, according to the criminal complaint. He allegedly hopped into the driver’s seat and hit the gas to zip out of there before the city tow operator (an on-duty civilian) could hook it up. 

Far from making a clean getaway — the driver instead took out the tow truck driver’s ankles. 

The Mercedes driver then took off. But the flattened worker radioed a description of the hit-and-run hoodlum. Patrol cops from the 34th Precinct pulled over the driver and cuffed him. 

Medics took the downed tow truck driver to a nearby hospital where he was treated for two sprained ankles. 

So instead of a nominal parking snag — the driver was formally changed with assault and fleeing an officer in a motor vehicle. The next day, at the suspect’s arraignment, he pleaded not guilty. He’s expected to return to court on January 26, records show.  

BRONX

Edenwald: ‘I Stabbed Him’, Says Galpal, Admitting To Being Backstabber

A spat between two lovers went off the rails. 

A 35-year-old woman was verbally jousting with her 39-year-old beau back at around 2:15 a.m. inside a first floor flat located on East 231st Street and Paulding Avenue. The war of roses turned especially grim when the woman allegedly picked up a knife and daggered the man in the back, according to the criminal complaint. 

Cops were called and when they arrived they questioned the now blood-soaked man. They also quizzed the woman who allegedly came clean about how her man was stuck with a blade. 

“I stabbed him,” she allegedly confessed.

It’s unclear what the pair were quarreling about before their beef turned near deadly. Medics rushed the victim to Jacobi Hospital where he was treated for the stab wound. 

He survived. 

Investigators recovered the knife at the messy scene. 

Meantime, the suspect was brought up on attempted murder, assault, and harassment raps. The woman was bonded out after her first appearance before a judge. 

Kingsbridge Heights: 80-year Old Busted After Stabbing Galpal

A quarrel between an octogenarian and his lover — 36 years his junior — ended with the elder going for first blood.

The grandpa and 46-year-old woman woke up their neighbors just before 3:15 a.m. on October 15, when their feud escalated into fisticuffs.

The pair were inside a first floor flat located on Villa Avenue near East 205th Street. Having had enough of talk, the senior allegedly grabbed a knife and slashed the much younger lover’s upper back “multiple times” causing bleeding, according to the criminal complaint.

Cops were called to respond to the domestic incident and discovered the geriatric’s knife dangling from his belt. The woman refused medical attention.

Her likely ex-beau was cuffed and hit with assault (domestic) and criminal weapons possession. He initially pleaded not guilty at arraignment and is due back in court on January. 29.

QUEENS

Jamaica: Ex-Con Bank Robber Scolds Sobbing Bank Teller To ‘Watch Your Tears’ After She Confided She’s Mother of Newborn

They denied him a credit card. So he personally strongarmed the bank. 

It was around 3:30 p.m. on October 9 when a 68-year-old man (who claimed to have served 30 years hard time for… robbery) wearing a white sweater, black trousers, and Nikes darted towards a teller inside of a Capital One Bank branch located on Jamaica Avenue and Sutphin Boulevard. 

“I need to speak to the manager,” he allegedly told the woman, the criminal complaint reads. 

The teller walked away briefly to confer with the manager and then returned to let the man know that the manager was “unavailable,” according to the criminal complaint.

Turning cross, the man pleaded with the woman, “Can we speak privately?”

She led him to an unoccupied cubicle to appease his request for confidence. 

But the man wasn’t hoping to open a new savings account or secure a line of credit. Rather, he was nonplussed and didn’t hide it. 

“Are there cameras around,” the suspect asked the teller. He didn’t wait for an answer. He started making demands. “I applied for a credit card and they’re not giving it to me.

“You’re going to give me a credit card.”

Before she could respond he let her know he meant the kind of business that doesn’t involve negotiation. “I have a gun in my bag,” he told her. “If you don’t do what I’m telling you to do — we’re going to have a problem.”

Knowing the score, the teller informed the man that she needed to fetch her laptop in order to “assist him.” But he refused her. 

He explained, “You can’t leave this room because if you do you’re going to scream. I can’t let you go.”

The room turning sideways for the teller, she broke down weeping, informing the robber that she has a 10-month old child at home and begged him through tears, “Please don’t shoot me!” 

But the money-hungry heister was unmoved. “Watch your tears,” he scolded. “Or someone else will understand what is happening and we’re going to have problems.”

The manager then checked on his colleague to make sure she was OK. 

The suspect allegedly spoke for her: “Don’t worry, she’s OK,” he said.

He continued to spell out the situation in crystal terms. The man was no longer interested in being granted a credit card. He wanted cold cash. “This is a robbery,” he told her. “Give me $1,000 in hundreds.”

And like a seasoned criminal all too savvy of banks’ countermeasures, he said, “I don’t want any stamped or dyepack bills.”

The woman returned to her window with the man shadowing her. 

“You’re not going to go away from me,” he told her. “You have to be beside me.”

The teller then went to work on getting together his funds. But apparently it wasn’t fast enough and the brute became impatient. 

“You’re taking too long,” he stammered. “I’m leaving.”

The teller then pressed the “panic alarm” and that set off a dragnet. 

It didn’t take long before the suspect, who hadn’t pocketed a dime despite his remarkable effort, was cuffed and cooling his heels in the back of a cruiser. 

Under questioning the suspect allegedly told cops it was all a huge misunderstanding. 

He then allegedly spindled a yarn to detectives about why he was there and how miffed he was for being stiffed on a Capital One credit card. “Someone hacked my credit card,” he said, according to the manager’s recollection shared with investigators. “So I went into the bank and asked for the manager. 

“She told me the manager was busy. I said, ‘Listen, I don’t want to hurt anybody. She started to cry. I told her that I had a gun in my bag because I was pissed.”

He claimed that he had served more than 27 years for robberies. 

But he insists that he wasn’t trying to stick up the joint. 

“From her perspective, I acknowledge that it looked like I was trying to rob the bank and hurt her,” he noted. “As soon as the cops grabbed me — I told them ‘I didn’t rob the bank!’”

They didn’t see it as a misunderstanding. The accused was booked on attempted robbery and unlawful imprisonment. 

BROOKLYN

Red Hook: FedEx Guy Goes Check Wild

A FedEx deliveryman allegedly siphoned over a dozen parcels filled with checks and money orders and cashed them to fatten his pockets to the tune of nearly $700,000. 

The 46-year-old was captured on video at the shipping corp’s distribution center on 19th Street near Hamilton Avenue back on Aug. 1. 

Authorities say the suspect set aside 15 packages and tossed them into a bin that he would end up rolling into his delivery truck, according to the criminal complaint. 

Those packages were filled with 83 checks and one money order — coming from JP Morgan Lockbox Processing or Chase Metrotech Center. 

Among the batch of checks that were alleged to have been mailed by clueless sendees hoping to remit payments — some were nominal amounts such as four cents to Voya Trust Company,  $15 made out to Hudson Valley Hospital, or $66.49 to Acutis Diagnostics. 

But the lionshare of the checks bore substantial amounts such as paying off mortgages and other big ticket items.

One was sent by New Yorkers for $15,971.10 intended to go to First American Title Insurance Company, another for $84,970 sent from a hospital to pay for medicine and several checks to Shake Shack (such as one for $5,000). 

There was one check for $256,629.16 from a hospital outfit sent to LG Electronics to apparently pay for their televisions.

All told, the suspect’s raid yielded checks and a money order tallying $658,614.45. 

Investigators built their case and formally arrested the suspect on December. 1. 

He faces grand larceny, petit larceny, and criminal possession of stolen property. 

Bensonhurst: ‘Give Me All Your Stuff:’ Knife-Toting Tough Bilks Straphanger’s Backpack, Tackled By 2 Good Sams

Karma was waiting for him at a Q train stop. 

A 44-year-old punk was aboard a southbound Q train back at around 11 p.m. on Oct. 23. As the train was pulling into the Kings Highway station, he allegedly drew a blade and stepped up to a 20-year-old rider, according to the criminal complaint. 

“Give me your stuff,” the perpetrator allegedly hissed.  

At first, the younger innocent resisted the threat and put up a struggle. 

That led the suspect to swing his knife wildly, gashing the stranger’s stomach. 

The now-injured rider finally forfeited his bag. When the train stopped — the suspect bolted. 

The victim had enough sense to shout aloud that he had been attacked and robbed. His mugger’s feet weren’t able to outrun two Good Samaritans who tackled him and held him down until the police officers arrived. The victim’s bag was recovered and a small knife (believed to be used by the accused) was found nearby. 

The victim was treated at a local hospital for several cuts he sustained to his hands for putting up a struggle and for the stomach slice.  

The suspect was formally brought up on robbery (with a knife), assault, grand larceny from a person, criminal possession of a weapon, petit larceny, and harassment. 

STATEN ISLAND

St. George / Fox Hills: ‘You’re Lucky I Can’t Kill You, B—’: Phone-Thieving Goon Scoffs Protection Order To Attack Ex 

He was supposed to stay away. But he couldn’t help himself. 

A 19-year-old scoffed at the lengthy protection order and repeatedly punished a woman with a series of attacks and robberies. 

The monster’s target had thought she had a safety blanket after a judge back on August. 6 imposed a five-year order of protection for the alleged creep to steer clear of her life.  

He refused.

At around 10:30 p.m. on Oct. 4, the suspect is said to have confronted her at the St. George Terminal (where ferries arrive and depart) and found the woman. He repeatedly slugged her in the stomach “multiple times”, according to the criminal complaint. 

The perp then allegedly brandished a knife and blabbed, “You’re lucky I can’t kill you, b—.”

As the woman was suffering from the gut blows — her attacker helped himself to her handbag that he had ripped from her shoulder and fled. The bag, the papers say, held among other things her wallet (including her school ID and health insurance card). 

The maniac would strike again. 

This time appeared at a home located on St. Marys Avenue in Fox Hills minutes before 8 p.m. on October. 15. 

There, the woman was terrified because the suspect pulled a knife once again. And he ripped her cell phone away from her hand and ordered her to go with him to his home on Brook Street. 

“Follow me,” he allegedly said, of the two-mile trek. “Otherwise, you won’t get your phone.”

She obeyed. 

But later that same day, when the woman was freed from the gutless brute — she informed the cops of being accosted. 

Investigators hauled the punk away and threw a fat book of charges against him. They include robbery, kidnapping, grand larceny, criminal contempt, menacing, weapons possession, unlawful imprisonment, assault, and harassment. 

The suspect pleaded not guilty at his November arraignment. He’s expected to return to court this month. 

Arlington: Scammer and His Home Depot Worker Pal Caught in Skip-Scanning Scheme  

They were getting over the big box store for thousands. And nobody appeared to be onto them for months. 

Two hardware hustlers were nabbed after investigators pinned them to a scheme involving thousands of dollars worth of merch being omitted in several purchases spanning months. 

The 52-year-old man and his 28-year-old inside guy employed at the Home Depot located on Forest Avenue near Morrow Street were fingered in fleecing the biz by allowing valuable goods go unscanned at the point of purchase.

The elder playing the customer appeared to have checked out of the Home Depot at least a dozen times starting on the morning of May 31. 

It was there that authorities say they have CCTV footage of the 52-year-old suspect “acting together and in concert” with his younger counterpart to load up shopping carts and then when they tallied their purchases of “home improvement products” tallying well beyond $1,000 — the grand total came up to $61.82, according to the criminal complaint. 

They allegedly performed the same grift 11 more times. Often, they would appear to mask their thievery by purchasing a decent amount of the goods. 

On June 14, the duo ran up a $692 tab for items exceeding $1,000. 

Then, on June 28, they spent $51.68 for goods worth more than $200. The very next day they returned and bought $140.61 worth of materials for items totaling over $1,000. 

A month later, on July 29, the twosome were at it again, allegedly running up $4,000 worth of products and only paying $390. 

Perhaps they were a tad overzealous when on the night of August 16, they allegedly paid $6 for $700 worth of items, the papers say. 

They would repeat this same drastic underpaying move on August 24, where they paid $18 for over $1,000 worth of merchandise. 

They continued to pull off this scheme until August 30. That would be the last documented theft of goods where they rolled out with over $2,000 worth of goods and only paid $77. 

Both were busted on October 30 after investigators pored over the footage and pinned them to the fleecing. Each faces criminal possession of stolen property (in excess of $3,000), and petit larceny.