The Holiday Dating Dilemma

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The New York Sun

Finding just the right gift to light up your lover’s eyes isn’t easy. But that’s not the only trouble with giving at this time of year: What if Christmas hits when you’ve only just started dating? Well, if you want a date for New Year’s Eve, put some thought into it now.


Even if you’ve only been dating a week, you’ve still got to give something. And it’s important to show that you have some kind of grasp on your partner’s likes and dislikes. “You want to give little things that tell them you’re thinking about them,” a personal shopper and stylist, Halle Petro of Shop Gotham, said.


At one week, you’re still getting to know each other, so use whatever clues you’ve got.


Maybe you two got together over a few glasses of wine, but you drank too much to remember whether your soon-to-be mate likes red or white, Old World or New. So check out wine accessories like high-design corkscrews, glasses, or books about collecting.


For daters of two weeks, the tricky process of elimination could still be under way. But surely you’ve seen a movie or two together. Pay attention to those post show critiques. If she loved the new “Pride and Prejudice” but hated “Syriana,” you probably won’t be off base with nicely bound edition of the Jane Austen classic. (And if she associates you with Mr. Darcy, all the better.)


If you’re dating a techie, and you’re at the one-month mark, you don’t want to overdo it, NY1 technology reporter Adam Balkin warns. He suggests a Charge 2 Go cell phone charger, a tiny device that attaches to your cell phone and lets you transfer power from a standard AA battery.


“It says, ‘I’m not ready to splurge just yet, but I know a cool gadget when I see one,'” Mr. Balkin said.


Dating coach and author of the book “Always Talk to Strangers” David Wygant says the best gift a woman can give a man is something that shows she’s the “cool” girlfriend. If you’ve been dating a month when Christmas arrives, Mr. Wygant recommends women get men tickets to a game he’d like to see. And if things are going well, buy him a jersey with his favorite player’s name and surprise him by wearing it at home after the game.


“If the girl bought the Peyton Manning jersey and slipped it on, it’d be one of the best days of my life,” Mr. Wygant said.


Guys looking to spoil and impress a new girlfriend can splurge on a luxurious robe, Jacqui Stafford, style director at Shape magazine, suggests. And for an added surprise, tuck an invitation for a weekend getaway into one of the pockets.


But before you shell out the big bucks, be sure to have a good grasp of the emotional situation. You may be ready to give a precious gift, but if the object of your affection isn’t up for a relationship, it may spell doom. No guy wants to receive a cashmere sweater when he’s about to give a bottle of lotion.


There’s another snag to watch out for, too. If you’ve just started dating more than one person, keep things organized and separate. No one wants to wind up like the jerk in the film “Love Actually” (whose wife finds a heart necklace in her husband’s coat – only to find a Joni Mitchell disc under the tree). Keep that gift certificate for horseback riding lessons away from the girl who loathes animals – and the tickets to a Knicks game away from the guy who only watches football. Instead of two options for New Year’s Eve, you could end up with none.


The New York Sun

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