Repellent ‘Primetime’ Bungles Its Bid To Catch Chris Hansen

Lance Oppenheim’s “Primetime” flirts with being a fact-based docudrama about Chris Hansen’s “To Catch a Predator,” the “Dateline NBC” series that lured and exposed older male predators who were keen on seeking sex with underage teenagers.The show was canceled in 2008 following the suicide of Bill Conradt, a Texas assistant district attorney who had initiated contact with an actor pretending to be a 13-year-old minor. When Mr. Hansen and the bulls moved in, Conradt shot himself. A calamity, of course, and bad luck for Mr. Hansen. A simple twist of fate gone wrong.Conradt’s suicide is why there was a 2025 documentary, David Osit’s “Predators,” about Mr. Hansen and “To Catch a Predator.” It’s why “Primetime” was made and distributed, and why Robert “R-Patz” Pattinson is playing Mr. Hansen. If Conradt hadn’t pulled the trigger, no one would care. It’s that simple. You might expect that “Primetime” would be edgy or provocative or infuriating on some level. What it is, in fact, is bewildering. “Primetime” is a piece of bizarre, splotchy, guilt-trip impressionism — a mix of darkly comic satire, haunting psychological horror, and moody, rain-soaked noir. On top of which, the film has a grainy 16mm quality, crudely saturated colors and — nobody seems to have mentioned this — a boxy aspect ratio somewhere between 1.37:1 and 1.5:1.Was Mr. Hansen overly ambitious about trying to bust predators during the show’s run? Did he push too hard in this respect? Was he a swaggering egotist in his middle-aged prime? Did he cat around behind his wife’s back? The answer to these questions, broadly, is yes. He was guilty and he certainly wasn’t perfect. But so what?Is “Primetime” entertaining? Not to me. It felt marginally interesting during the first half-hour, but there are no likable characters, least of all Mr. Pattinson’s Chris Hansen. I was slumped in my seat and asking myself: “What is this? Why is Mr. Pattinson acting like such a self-deluding, glassy-eyed Frankenstein-monster zombie? Why am I paying such close attention to this pretentious, irritating film?”Because a bunch of under-40 critics have been doing cartwheels over it? What do they know? I’m friendly with people who have known Chris Hansen for years and it simply doesn’t figure that he was ever as wackadoo eccentric as the looney-tune Mr. Pattinson is portraying.He portrays Mr. Hansen as a posturing phony-baloney, a slick ayehole we’re supposed to look down upon or feel repelled by. “Primetime” is basically a millennial hit job on a white-haired boomer — an act of ruthless character assassination.There was a 30-something guy sitting next to me who was chuckling at the film’s broad characterizations and hoo-hooing repeatedly at stuff that wasn’t the least bit funny. I became so irritated by my millennial neighbor that I finally turned in my seat and stared at him in amazement.I didn’t say anything, but if he had turned and asked me what my problem was, I would have said: “I just want to laugh and enjoy life as much as you seem to be doing, so maybe, if you could explain what’s so damn funny about “Primetime,” perhaps I could share in your merriment.”While covering the Venice Film Festival earlier this month, my 38-year-old son, Jett, was especially eager to hear about “Primetime.” Vaguely irked, I asked him: “What exactly is the big deal with you and your fellow millennials — not to mention Zoomers — about this film? I’m still coasting on the high of having recently seen Martin McDonagh’s ‘Wild Horse Nine,’ easily one of the year’s finest films and sure to be Oscar-nominated, and all you want to hear about is effing ‘Primetime.’”“Yeah, I know — ‘Wild Horse Nine’ is about boomers, and boomers are anathema to you and yours,” I wrote to my son. “But what else is going on here? Is it because the original Chris Hansen show, ‘To Catch a Predator,’ was about exposing pedophiles, and that any and all exposures and prosecutions of same quickens your generational pulse? Is it because “Primetime” presents Mr. Hansen as ethically flawed, which fits in with the general Zoomer-millennial belief that all older cis white males are not only tedious and problematic but should probably be marginalized, if not shunned? Or is it because the 40-year-old R-Patz not only stars but produces, and you’re going, ‘Whoo-whoo … one of our own!’?”Who cares, by the way, about Skyler Gisondo, who plays Dan, an overly emotive, insecure, cutie-pie actor hired by Mr. Hansen to lure predators? I hated Mr. Gisondo’s performance. All he does is perform readable emotions. I was silently screaming: “Will you please stop ‘acting,’ ya little twit?” I didn’t give one single damn about Dan’s career.The best scene in the film is when, in 2006, then-NBC honcho Jeff Zucker — played by Zucker himself — tells Mr. Hansen and producer Andie Bender, played by Merritt Wever, that he doesn’t like “To Catch a Predator,” but that tasteless, low-rent American viewers do, and that their show will henceforth be given its own primetime slot. There’s never another scene that plays quite as well.Andie, we learn, is being wooed by a rival showrunner on another network, but she’s loyal to a fault. Mr. Hansen, we also learn, is barely conversant with his wife, played by Anna Faris, and kids, and that a National Enquirer reporter is threatening to run a piece about his extramarital girlfriends.Then comes the news about Conradt, described as a potential “whale” who may be bustable, and this is finally what causes all the pieces and elements to crash and shatter. Have I made it clear that “Primetime” radiates repellent vibes? Allow me to repeat that it gives you major ick feelings every step of the way. “Predators” is a far more nourishing and absorbing watch. Stream that instead.

Repellent ‘Primetime’ Bungles Its Bid To Catch Chris Hansen

Repellent ‘Primetime’ Bungles Its Bid To Catch Chris Hansen

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