It’s Time Women Stopped Dressing Grown Men

Somewhere between “Honey, does the tie work?” and “Honey, what should I wear today?” lies a dangerous border crossing. Once a man passes, there is no return. Before long, he’s standing silently in a department store while his wife holds up sweaters and says, “This is very you,” even though he knows he’s going to hate wearing it. The reality is that, by this time, does he even know what he is any longer? His primary wardrobe has been chosen by his wife. A man’s personal identity is sacred. Part of that identity is his choice in clothing which communicates his personality, status, profession, interests, and taste. It is important for a man to make these choices himself. It also is far more authentic, which is clearly visible by his peers and colleagues. For men in the workplace, it is important to be seen as authentic and in control of himself and his choices. What I find interesting is the way women dress their men is exactly opposite of what women find attractive about the way a man dresses. This leads me to believe that a woman is subconsciously ensuring that other women do not find her man attractive. It is a clear way of keeping control of him and minimizing his masculinity. As a men’s clothing designer, I have seen it repeatedly in our showrooms. A man and woman come to shop and everything that looks great on him and makes him smile, gets quickly rejected by the woman. When I would look at her and ask why, her response was always something frivolous. My favorite was when a client was shopping with his wife; he tried on a shirt and loved it, but she was quick to say that it was not him. He agreed with his wife and then called an hour later and had the shirt shipped to his office. When a woman says she likes a well-dressed man, she is not even talking about the clothing. Take when a man enters a room wearing a well-fitted sport coat, trousers, polished shoes, and a crisp shirt and heads turn. Why? The reality is most women could not identify the difference between a fused and canvassed jacket. Few know whether a shirt is made from Egyptian cotton or Pima cotton. Yet they consistently notice when a man dresses well. The reason is simple: women are not responding to the clothing. They are responding to what the clothing is communicating. A woman can never dress a man because her perspective on dressing is opposite of what they find attractive in the way a man dresses. A well-dressed man is not fashionable or trendy, he is stylish not loud. When a man is well-dressed, he is communicating who he is without saying a word. Wearing clothes that fit right, pressed and clean, and which are void of garish logos, broadcasts several characteristics. You know he is disciplined, self-aware and comfortable in social situations. Most importantly, he appears intentional.Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt pictured in 2015. Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for WSJ. Magazine 2015 Innovator AwardsClothing is one of the few forms of self-expression that cannot be hidden. If your lady is dressing you, it is apparent you question your taste and judgement. When a man decides what he is going to wear, he is choosing how he presents himself to the world. Whether he realizes it or not, his choices tell his story. What most men fail to realize is that what you wear is about your standards. Those standards set your apart from the herd and makes you distinctive. How then can a man be himself if someone else is literally dictating his story?For generations, men understood this instinctively because there was a social contract that was passed down from one generation to the other. Our grandfather’s owned far less clothing than we do today. Yet looking at old photographs they always looked impeccably dressed. No matter their financial disposition, they took pride in what they wore and took care of what they had. Men did not dress for themselves, but rather for respect. Respect for themselves, respect for those around them, and respect for the occasion. A woman’s attraction to a well-dressed man is rarely about the fabric, color, or style. It is about evidence. Clothing is one of the few visible clues she has about how a man sees himself. When a man dresses with purpose, he silently communicates that he approaches other parts of his life with purpose as well. This is why a man should dress himself. A woman shopping for a man tends to be about color and trends that almost always never align with the true persona of the man she is dressing. The truth is, the clothes are not the attraction the meaning behind them is. Vivek Nagrani is the Creative Director of Articl3 and author of The Burden of Masculinity.

It’s Time Women Stopped Dressing Grown Men

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