The Cocktail Party Contrarian: There’s Nothing Wrong With a Little Anger

After the famously hot-headed Nick Kyrgios lost in the U.S. Open quarterfinals to Karen Khachanov in an almost four-hour match last week, the Australian tennis professional congratulated his Russian opponent, shook the referee’s hand, and summarily lost his temper, smashing two rackets on the court. It may not have been Mr. Kyrgios’s finest moment, but the media’s reaction was one of outrage. His post-loss behavior was described as a “meltdown” and a “tantrum.” Twitter critics skewered him and calls for fines ensued. Was it really that terrible? Anyone who spends thousands of hours — years of his life — training to win, and then battles through almost four hours on the court only to lose to a lower-ranked player, ought to be upset. Anyone aggressive enough to compete at the highest level of his sport may naturally be prone to a bout of aggression after defeat. That hardly comes as a shock, even if we prefer to watch him tip his hat like a gentleman and retire quietly to the locker room.It should be pointed out that Mr. Kyrgios broke two of his own rackets, not anyone else’s. He didn’t launch one at the spectators. Importantly, his anger was directed at himself. He didn’t blame the referee, or his brief knee pain during the match, for his loss. “I feel like I’ve just failed at this event right now,” he said. He’s right, he did fail. He committed 58 unforced errors. He failed to win, which is what he was at Arthur Ashe Stadium to do. So, Nick Kyrgios unleashed himself against his own shortcomings and owned them, putting them on notice that they won’t be tolerated next time. Then he acknowledged Mr. Khachanov’s skills, admiringly. “I’m obviously devastated,” he said after the match. “But all credit to Karen. He’s a fighter. He’s a warrior. I thought he served really good today. Honestly probably the best server I played this tournament, to be honest, the way he was hitting his spots under pressure.” Mr. Kyrgios’s anger clearly didn’t consume him. He was gracious to his opponent, but hard on himself.There is nothing wrong with a little anger. Anger is a very reasonable human emotion if it is directed at the right target, dissipates after it is released, and doesn’t hurt anyone. Seeing it displayed in all of its masculine rawness shouldn’t make us clutch our pearls. There is a difference between a sore loser and being sore when you lose. The former directs disappointment outward; the latter, inward. So, I say, smash that racquet all you like, Mr. Kyrgios. Then grab a new one and win your next match.

The Cocktail Party Contrarian: There’s Nothing Wrong With a Little Anger

The Cocktail Party Contrarian: There’s Nothing Wrong With a Little Anger

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