Iranian Military Spokesman Emerges as Heir to the Iraq War’s Infamous ‘Baghdad Bob’

Iran is deploying a master troll as a military spokesman, Ebrahim Zolfaghari, to tout imaginary victories over America. The spokesman is fast emerging as an heir to Saddam Hussein’s infamous “Baghdad Bob,” known for refusing to face the reality of defeat even with Iraq collapsing around him.On Wednesday, Mr. Zolfaghari announced that “all American bases in the region have been destroyed.” He seemed to be tapping into a quote by the “Seinfeld” character, George Costanza, advised on the sitcom. “It’s not a lie,” he said, “if you believe it.”Mr. Zolfaghari denied reports of negotiations, insisting that America is only “negotiating with itself.” CNN later confirmed ongoing talks via Iranian sources, but the general’s denials proved able to dupe those like the former CIA director, John Brennan. “I tend to believe Iran,” he told MS NOW on Tuesday, “more than I do Donald Trump.”In a totalitarian regime, believing in the truth can be a death sentence; so, it’s safer to internalize the party line. In “1984,” George Orwell’s novel, Winston Smith is told that it’s not enough for him to say there are four fingers when there are five. He must “believe” it. This is called “reality control” or “doublethink.”In “Mein Kampf,” Adolf Hitler described this as “the big lie,” statements so audacious that no one believes anyone “could have the impudence to distort the truth so infamously.” This has been the flavor of Mr. Zolfaghari’s statements such as “American commanders and soldiers have fled and taken refuge in hideouts outside the bases.”Iran hasn’t alienated its neighbors with attacks, but Mr. Zolfaghari presumed to ask “the people of the region to report” American “hiding places” and “demand” their “expulsion.” On Sunday, he added flair by appropriating two of President Trump’s catchphrases.“Hey, Trump,” Mr. Zolfaghari said in accented English. “You are fired … Thank you for your attention to this matter.” Such barbs may bring the celebrity status achieved by Iraq’s information minister, Mohammed al-Sahhaf, nicknamed “Baghdad Bob” during the 2003 invasion.In the opening hours of the Iraq War, Mr. al-Sahhaf predicted doom for American troops. “Our initial assessment,” he said, “is that they will all die.” The phrase “our assessment” invoked groups of analysts crunching numbers, not a lone actor’s delusion.Mr. al-Sahhaf insisted that the Americans would “surrender,” not Iraqi forces, “or be burned in their tanks.” Asked where he got his information, he replied, “authentic sources,” adding for emphasis, “many authentic sources.” Even as Baghdad’s strategic points fell, he fired off more fiction.“We have retaken the airport,” Mr. al-Sahhaf announced after its capture. “There are no Americans there!” He promised to “take” journalists to the site and “show” them “in one hour,” but he failed to do so because he couldn’t. “There are no American infidels in Baghdad,” he said as American troops closed in on the city. “Never!”Units of the U.S. Army refuted Mr. al-Sahhaf’s insistence with steel, when the 2nd Brigade, 3rd Infantry Division launched “Thunder Run,” rolling armor through Iraq’s capital city to crush morale and illustrate their might. The truth was obvious for the world to see, but “Baghdad Bob” stayed in denial.“Baghdad is safe,” Mr. al-Sahhaf said before TV cameras as the Yanks put Hussein’s forces to flight. “The battle is still going on. Their infidels are committing suicide by the hundreds on the gates of Baghdad. Don’t believe those liars.” As if to refute the rosy picture he painted, Iraqi soldiers were seen running for cover behind him.Mr. al-Sahhaf was captured by American forces, interrogated, and released, later trading his distinctive raspberry beret for a commentator gig on Abu Dhabi TV. Having so internalized Hussein’s falsehoods, he never came to terms with reality.Mr. Zolfaghari acceded to his post after his predecessor was killed in an Israeli airstrike. Should he survive to keep doing his “Baghdad Bob” impression, he may never have to surrender his doublethink. He’ll go right on believing that there are four fingers when there are five — confident, like Mr. Costanza, that what he says is “not a lie” so long as he believes it.

Iranian Military Spokesman Emerges as Heir to the Iraq War’s Infamous ‘Baghdad Bob’

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